Looking for answers of purpose of life? 

Don’t understand the trials and the strife? 

Relax, you need to wander no more.  

We have what you seek at our local God store.

Need a God that is kind, wise and caring? 

Or one vengeful, wrathful, and worth fearing? 

Our Gods have it all, we’re where it’s at 

Name your desire because there’s a God for that 

A God to worship only on Sunday? 

Or one on your dash as you go down the highway?

Let your God be at home, work, or school

Our store perfects the religiositical fool 

In church your God will look like the others

So you can pretend you’re all sisters and brothers

Need a God that looks only like you?  

We have Him, and His blond-haired son too 

We have one for each hook, line, and sinner  

You pick the one that feels like a personal winner 

Need the God that is from a Bible? 

More precise please, the text is too tribal 

A God that hates all abortions and gays? 

No problem, we even throw in Jose

Need to put a woman in her place?

Not that original, but okay, how about race?

Want a God that loves only Caucasians?

We have a God for every skin persuasion

Need a God that takes care of the rich?

This is the place, your God’s your bitch.

You don’t believe in any God you say?

You’re not normal and you should go away.

For the faithful we have God to sell

We’re going to heaven, you’re going to Hell

Still, we feel compelled for something to do,

So, we’ll be condescending and pray for you