DNA Shock +5 Years: What I Know & Lessons Learned

23 Sunday Jan 2022

Posted by Paul Kiser in Colorado, Ethics, Family, genealogy, Honor, Lessons of Life, Life, Mental Health, parenting, Small town

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Ancestry.com, Barrick, DNA, DNA testing, Family, family history, Frances Barrick, genealogy, Kiser, Vernon Kiser

Five years ago today I was in a condo on a beach in Panama. I was on an adventure and life was great. It was my seventh and final trip to that country in less than three years. I was enjoying the warm tropical air and didn’t know I was about to have a DNA shock that would transform my life by events that happened 59 years earlier. On the 23rd of January 2017, I received an email regarding a DNA match on Ancestry.com. In checking the match I realized that this was more than finding a new cousin. This match would prove that I had a different father than the man who raised me.

Sunset in Panama on 23 January 2017. When I took this image of the setting Sun, I had just learned that I wasn’t a Kiser by blood.

The news did not impact me immediately. It took me about an hour to understand what the DNA results meant, days to realize that I had no blood connection to my last name, months to realize that my birth certificate was wrong, and years to learn who knew and when they knew.

Everyone involved in this affair has passed away. Firsthand accounts are not possible, but I have pieced together enough information to understand how this situation played out.

The Trauma of My Conception and the Resolution at Birth

In 1957, Vernon Kiser was 37 years old and had married Frances Barrick seventeen years earlier. He had worked in a coal mine, worked on road maintenance, and even started his own small construction company with a dozer he owned. At some time around 1957, he had given up his company and began work for another small town construction company.

Frances became pregnant in the Spring of that year. According to the account of a witness, after Vernon learned of her pregnancy, he became distraught and even moved out of his house for a week or so. He knew he was not the biological father and that the real father was his boss. Everything would appear to be heading to a life-altering crisis for all involved.

However, months later, I was born. Vernon Kiser officially claimed to be my Dad on my birth certificate and he continued to work for his boss, my biological Father. Among the evidence of the reconciliation is a picture of me sitting on my biological Father’s lap when I was about seven months old. This picture was most likely taken by my Dad as he had the only camera in our family. All of this indicates that a reconciliation had been in the best interest of everyone involved.

Me sitting on my biological Father’s lap. July 1958

DNA Shock and the Aftershock

In 2017, the DNA news was a shock, but it was also transformative. Aspects of my life and my relationship with my parents that didn’t make sense suddenly were in a new light. Despite the resolution after my birth, I believe the trauma of the event rippled through my childhood.

I was the fourth and final child born to Frances. My birthplace, Craig, was and still is a small town located in the sagebrush of northwestern Colorado’s high desert. As I grew up I had friends but none that ever lasted for more than a few years. I was a loner most of the time probably because my interests were rarely the same as most other kids my age.

The Kiser family sans me. I would have been an infant when this picture was taken.

I was the ‘Caboose Child’ of my family and I was four years younger than my next oldest brother. By the time I was in Kindergarten, my oldest brother was heading off to Vietnam, the next oldest was in high school, and my closest brother was in four years ahead of me in elementary school.

Parenting Style: Apathy or Shame?

My parents were…parents. Vernon worked all the time and Frances kept the household functioning. It wasn’t a child-centered family. I did my homework and I had a few chores, but mostly I was left to do what I wanted to do.

I eventually noticed that while my parents always attended the sports events of all three of my older brothers and the plays of my next older brother, they rarely showed support of my school activities in public.

After I left for college, I realized that my upbringing was slightly different than many other people my age. Others had parents that were strongly connected to their children whereas my parents had been largely uninvolved. For example, some parents were enthusiastic to have their children go to college. My parents didn’t stop me from going to college but they were apathetic about it. My mother did provide some money for college but I was expected to pay my own way.

I had no other models of parents to really compare my Mom and Dad to, but over time I began to question their parenting style.

College Days. First independence.

I was frustrated at times over what I considered a lack of interest, but I finally decided that they must have been tired of being a parent by the time I came along. My mother had raised children for twelve years before I was born. By the time I graduated from high school, she had been a parent for thirty years. When I did the math, it all made sense.

Small Town Gossip

What I hadn’t considered was the possible impact of shame and embarrassment in a small town where gossip is a natural part of life. It is now apparent that many people were aware of the circumstances of my conception. Whether that shame and embarrassment became a factor in my parent’s public support of me is impossible to know. Again, I was the last child of four in the family so simple parent fatigue could be the main factor in their parenting style.

Within months after I left for college, my Dad abruptly took a demotion from a senior position at the Moffat County Road Department to live in a remote location outside of Craig. At the time, I assumed that they had a secret longing to go back to country-style living; however, now I wonder. Did my departure from their daily lives give them permission to get away from the gossip of the small town? No one will ever know the truth.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

There are many questions that I have about my childhood, but what is significant is that I now can respect the trauma they likely endured. The irony is that they made a major sacrifice in order to do what was best for everyone involved. I don’t know how I would have reacted if I had known the truth while my parents were still alive, but I would like to think I could have appreciated my Dad’s decision to raise me as his own.

My biological Father died in a dozer rollover accident when I was a small child. It would be interesting to know how my life might have been different if he had still been around as I grew up. Once again, no one will ever know the answer.

The past five years have allowed me to reexamine my life with the knowledge of how it began. Some of my revelations have been humorous. For example, my mother kept insisting that I must have Native American (she said, Indian) blood. She maintained that my paternal grandfather was half to three-quarters Native American. He was not. In addition, my Dad was blonde-haired and blue-eyed. It was an absurd idea. Now I know that she was attempting to throw me off the trail of my true family history by feeding me false information.

The Things That I Now Understand

My parents were trying to ‘save’ or ‘protect’ me by keeping the truth from me. They were also trying to protect themselves.
My parents believed that I would never know the truth.
It was a time and place when the truth would have been devastating to both families.
It was an affair, a small town, and it happened over 60 years ago. No one needs to be ashamed or needs to try to explain why it happened.
The longer I wasn’t told the truth, the harder it became to do so.

After the DNA Shock: The Lessons

The measure of a person is not what happens to him or her, but by how he or she responds to the situation.
All relationships must be grounded in BOTH respect and love. Love doesn’t exist without respect as the foundation.
Blood is less important than the heart but blood is not unimportant. Knowing your true ancestors is part of your history. The future remains to be created.
A surname and a birth certificate shouldn’t be what identifies you as a person.
Knowing a secret that impacts another person but not sharing that knowledge with that person defines your relationship or lack of it with that person.

[SEE: Familius Inturruptus to read the article I wrote a week after I learned of the DNA match.]

Janet Devlin vs. Janet Devlin

07 Monday Sep 2020

Posted by Paul Kiser in Arts, Book Review, Entertainment, habits, Health, Lessons of Life, Life, Mental Health, Passionate People, Public Image, review, Women, Writing

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2011, 2020, album, artist, Book, Book review, Confessional, cutting, Depression, Janet Devlin, Mental Health, Music, music industry, My Confessional, pop, review, singer, singing, songs, The X Factor

Album and Book REVIEW: Confessional [album] and My Confessional [book] by Janet Devlin

The Case For and Against Janet Devlin

Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I would like to prove that Janet Devlin is highly intelligent and that she deliberately and systematically has used her intelligence to attack and humiliate Janet Devlin to cause both mental and physical harm.

Someone who produces both an album, titled Confessional and a corresponding book, titled My Confessional, as Ms. Devlin has done, is not of below-average nor even average intelligence. The feat itself proves my contention of higher than average intelligence, brilliant creativity, and an artistic skillset that exceeds the capabilities of most humans.

In 2011, Ms. Devlin, at the age of 16, gained worldwide fame with a viral performance of Elton John’s, Your Song on Britain’s The X Factor television show. The official video of this performance has over 40 million views. Again, proof of her outstanding intelligence and abilities.

I contend that Ms. Devlin has used her intelligence against Janet. I contend that Ms. Devlin knows that Janet is so intelligent and talented that she perceives almost limitless possibilities and that Ms. Devlin has deceived Janet into believing that if she does not succeed at everything she might see as a possibility, then she has failed.

Further, Ms. Devlin has relentlessly humiliated and shamed Janet by degrading her, forcing her into addictive coping behaviors, and instilling a belief in failure.

The Evidence

Ms. Devlin has admitted to her acts against Janet. In her album, Ms. Devlin admits her sins against Janet. In her book, Janet details the acts that Ms. Devlin convinced her to do to herself.

Of the twelve songs in the album, almost all expose, in raw emotion, the savage cruelty beset upon a child and then a woman by Ms. Devlin. Her mind driven into depression by the belief of failure. In this album alone there is ample proof that Ms. Devlin has tortured Janet for most of her life.

In the twelve chapters of the book, Ms. Devlin writes of using self-doubt to cripple the efforts of Janet to the point that she took to seclusion and alcohol to cope with her feelings of inadequacy. One only has to listen to the music and read the words to know the truth.

The Defense For Janet Devlin

Your Honor, as I represent both the Plaintiff and the Defendant, I must admit that Ms. Devlin admits to her behavior. She has confessed in both word and song to her crimes. She, in fact, has used both the album and book to not only reveal the truth to all that will listen, but she has also gone so far as to bring awareness of how a highly intelligent and talented person can be lost in depression and self-abuse.

Though her actions are reprehensible, the final act of exposing the truth to the world may have a greater impact on Janet and anyone who faces the emotional and physical trauma caused by depression and addiction.

For this reason, I ask that the court grant a reconciliation between Ms. Devlin and Janet on the condition that any further acts of abuse, humiliation, or shame be dealt with quickly and severely. The Prosecution and Defense rest…so that we may listen to the album again.

Review – Album: Confessional, Book: My Confessional

Release: 5 June 2020 Album: Insomnia Music, Book by Omnibus Press

Album Category: Pop, some Gaelic influences

The raw truth of Janet Devlin’s life is disturbing; however, the album, Confessional, that lyrically exposes her internal battle is not a collection of morose songs. The listener might not realize that some songs deal with dark subjects of depression, self-harm, and addiction. This makes the album more than just a confessional, but a highly crafted artistic canvas of emotion and music.

The album begins with an anthem that announces the scope and purpose of the music collection. With one exception, the tracks lyrically stay true to the theme of the anthem. The exception is Big Wide World that is almost a giddy emotional outburst from the rest of the album. Musically, songs such as Cinema Screen, Away With The Fairies, and Holy Water, have an upbeat feel, while other songs carry a softer and/or somber tone. This gives the album a balanced feel that combats the serious, and sometimes disturbing, lyrics of many of the songs.

Book Category: Autobiography [Book Format: Hardcover]

The twelve chapters of the book share the title and order of the songs on the album; however, this is not a “why-I-wrote-this-song” book. Each chapter seems to loosely relate to the album but not in a way that is overt. Ms. Devlin uses prose to tell the story of her life in the book and uses lyrical poetry and music on the album to give an emotional feel to that story.

The blending of the album and book creates a deep connection to the hidden life of someone betrayed and shredded by a twisted reflection of herself. The book doesn’t allow the reader to be a casual participant. The experiences of depression, cutting, anorexia, isolation all are exposed, but not as the evil afflictions that we think of them. Ms. Devlin becomes the Siren that takes the reader into dangerous waters of mental oddities and self-destruction and gives us a glimpse of how our brains can twist self-harm into a release from self-loathing.

There is no clear explanation for the cause of the type of behavior that Ms. Devlin has lived with since she was a child; however, it is not just a reaction to external trauma, nor an issue of a ‘defective’ brain. What Ms. Devlin accomplishes with the blending of the album and book is an inside view of how a highly intelligent person can be mired in a world of self-loathing and addiction…and perhaps a map of how to get out of that world.

BOOK:
Informative ★★★★★
Relevancy ★★★★★
Readability ★★★★★
Visuals ★★★☆☆

Winter Solstice and It’s Impact on Humans

19 Thursday Dec 2019

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Christmas, Earth tilt, religion, religious beliefs, religious celebrations, winter season, winter solstice

Winter Solstice: Annual Test of Survival

The northern hemisphere’s Winter Solstice has had a major impact on civilizations in Europe, Asia, and North America. Early humans on these continents felt the fear and uncertainty as days became shorter and cold limited the availability of food and other life-sustaining resources. Each year the question had to be asked: “Will we survive?”

‘High Noon’ at 39° North latitude in mid-December

Every year, the Sun’s daily crossing sank lower and lower in the southern sky until it slowed and then stopped sinking. After a few weeks, the arc of the Sun began to slowly rise, bringing longer days followed by warmer temperatures. Spring returned and food and resources became more plentiful.

It is easy to understand so many pagan rituals and celebrations in northern cultures occurred near the shortest day of the year. It is also easy to understand why many religions adopted or adapted the solstice pagan rituals as their own. Most notably Christmas was conveniently established on or near the same day as the Roman observances of the season.

…around the time of the winter solstice, Romans observed Juvenalia, a feast honoring the children of Rome…In addition, members of the upper classes often celebrated the birthday of Mithra, on December 25. Mithra was an ancient Persian [infant] god of light…

History.com 2017

December Winter Solstice: It’s a Upper North Thing

Winter Solstice of the northern hemisphere is a regional phenomenon. People who live between 25° north and 25° south latitude cannot be faulted for feeling that it is a non-event. Their length of day between Summer and Winter is relatively insignificant compared to the drastic changes experienced by people farther north.

For people in the southern hemisphere, our Winter Solstice is their Summer Solstice. In fact, the Earth is closest to the Sun in late December and early January so the dark, cold days of our Winter Solstice are completely contrary to everything they experience at that time of year.

Where the Winter Solstice Shaped Religion

Did the Winter Solstice Reinforce Religious Authority?

Europe and the Middle East civilizations would have felt the impact of the Winter season. Each year people would be faced with ever-worsening conditions, possibly creating life-threatening situations. People who had experienced many solstices may have become oracles of hope by predicting a return to longer days and warmer weather.

The wise predictors of the return of the longer days would have seemed mystical leading to dependence on their guidance in all matters of life. It would be understandable that people who had no concept of how Earth’s seasonal cycles might begin to see an older person as magical when they consistently predicted the end of the cold and shorter days.

Knowledge of the Winter Solstice, cycles of the Moon, and other astronomical cycles would give rise to religious followers who felt their lives might be dependent on the whims and good graces of deities. By the time these religious movements expanded to regions South of the 25th latitude, they were massive social organizations that offered meaning and explanations to life.

South American Cultures Largely Ignored the Solstices

It is noteworthy that Mayan, Incan, and Astec civilizations observed and followed the apparent movement of the Sun, Moon, planets, and stars; however, there was no corresponding celebration or significance to the Winter Solstice in either the northern or southern hemispheres. Astronomy was important in determining the best conditions for planting crops; however, that time was influenced by ideal weather conditions (rainy or dry seasons) rather than a time that would correspond to the Spring planting conditions in the northern hemisphere.

The Reason For the Season

Clearly the northern Winter Solstice does not have a worldwide impact; however, for cultures above 25° North latitude, it has been a vital observance. The Winter Solstice has provided hope and reassurance of better days to come. While northern religions largely ignore the Winter Solstice as having any connection to their winter traditions, there is no doubt that it is the origin of all religious rituals during this time of year.

What About Marriage?

02 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Gender Issues, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Life, Marriage, Mental Health, parenting, Religion, Respect, United States, Women

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children, divorce, gay marriage, husband, LGBT, LGBTQ, love, marriage, parents, Relationships, spouse, widowed, wife

I’ve been married twice. Eight years the first time and I am nearing 25 years in the second marriage. I look back at my marriage experiences and I consider young adults and the decisions they have to make in relationships. The question is whether or not marriage worth it? I believe that like most important life decisions, there is no perfect answer.

[Author’s NOTE: For the purpose of this discussion, marriage is defined as a lifelong, intimate, and exclusive commitment to another person regardless of the genders of the couple (female/male, male/male, or female/female) involved in the relationship. It includes couples who have not officially married but have mutually agreed to have an exclusive, cohabitating relationship. This discussion assumes a monogamous relationship and does NOT include other types of multiple spousal relationships such as polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, or polyamory.]

A Case For Marriage

Despite all the challenges to maintaining a relationship over time, marriage usually has a positive effect on both partners that cannot be achieved as a single individual. Maybe it is sharing the burden of life with someone else that makes our existence more rewarding. Maybe it is the stability of the relationship that smooths out the manic aspects of life.

Regardless, there is almost always a reward in having a significant, loving relationship that is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve by living alone. Marriage typically makes us more focused, more rational, and more emotionally stable.

For some couples, marriage becomes the center of their lives. Decisions are made jointly and other people see the couple as a single entity. All things are shared, even an email address.

For other couples, marriage is a symbiotic relationship that enriches each other’s experiences. Each person maintains a separate identity but time spent together is the oasis of their lives.

It is interesting to note that research indicates that married men live longer than men who remain single, divorced, or are widowed, although there are disputing studies that suggest single men that stay single also live longer. Men who lose their spouse have an increased risk of dying within a short period afterward. Note that this data is on heterosexual couples. Same-gender marriages are relatively new and there has not been enough time to study longevity issues associated with single-sex marriages.

A Case Against Marriage

Any relationship is complicated because it involves the hopes, desires, and preconceptions of two people. The idea that two people will have attitudes about marriage that perfectly coincide is absurd. People who decide to get married typically are willing to compromise on their preconceptions of marriage in exchange for the hope that over time a compromise will be reached and their relationship will become perfect.

While compromises in a relationship are usually made, eventually one or both reach a point where they realize that they compromised on things that are important to them. It is at this point the Dissatisfaction Syndrome begins.

Dissatisfiers

Many years ago I realized that decisions are driven by dissatisfaction. A person becomes dissatisfied with something and ultimately decides to make a change. This usually happens over time and consists of multiple ‘dissatisfiers.’

An example would be a person’s employment. Initially, a person may be excited about a new job, but over time the employee will experience dissatisfiers (reaching top of the pay scale, unreasonable demands, poor management decisions, disagreeable co-workers, etc.) and that person will begin considering looking for a new job. Eventually, a final event (dissatisfier) will motivate an employee to take action.

This happens in marriages. Dissatisfiers can operate in the background of any relationship and build over time. A tipping point is reached when the person realizes that the marriage is no longer sufficiently satisfying and a change must be made.

The Growth Problem

Another problem in any relationship is the Growth Problem. Human development occurs over a lifespan. A healthy, well-adjusted person needs to engage in a continuous process of learning and adapting. The problem is that humans learn and adopt new attitudes and priorities at different rates and usually in different directions.

A person at 25 is completely different than they are at 40, so what happens when the person you’ve been with for 15 years is now a stranger?

The Worst Marriage: Codependency

There is a worst-case scenario in marriage. It is when one or both partners are codependent on each other. In this situation, all the normal things that breakdown a relationship occur but one or both partners stay in the relationship because the can’t imagine living independently.

This results in the marriage becoming a black hole of despair, anger, and mistrust that destroys the mental and emotional health of both partners.

Children and Marriage

I believe that children substantially impact a marriage, but that children tend to magnify the state of the relationship. In the case of a healthy relationship, the net impact is to enhance and deepen the relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, the net impact increases the existing problems and issues.

“Till Death Do You Part?”

The concept of marriage has radically changed over the last two centuries, along with the human lifespan. Most advanced countries accept that the ‘wife’ is no longer the property of the male. Additionally, divorce has become more accepted.

The idea that marriage is for life is not practical for most people despite that many religions still cling to 18th-century concepts of marriage. There are some couples that defy the odds and maintain a loving relationship until death but in many cases, a relationship can become destructive to the emotional and mental health of one or both partners after a period of time.

The Need For a Different Marriage Model

I don’t believe that anyone can predict or accurately assess a couple’s relationship and know whether or not it will last. There are too many variables.

Still, there are benefits to monogamous relationships and marriage creates a framework for a couple to be committed to each other. The problem is that in many relationships, a point of no return is reached that signals the end. What is needed is a new model of marriage that requires couples to have an ongoing assessment of their relationship (e.g.; counseling,) a measure of the quality of the relationship (e.g.; is it working or not) and, if needed, an acceptable transition out of the relationship that keeps both people whole.

What isn’t accounted for in this model are the children. A child should be a planned event, as much as possible, with the understanding that a child creates a third, and equal party in the relationship. Sadly, too many people have children who do not have the appropriate skills to be a parent, let alone a parent in an unhealthy marriage.

Sexuality and Teaching It

14 Sunday Jul 2019

Posted by Paul Kiser in Communication, Discrimination, Education, Gender Issues, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Life, Mental Health, parenting, Pride, Relationships, Religion, Respect, Women

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LGBT, sex, sex education, Sexuality

I believe that we have a problem with educating children about sexuality. We ask public schools to teach children about sex and instantly the lessons focus on the physicality and the dangers. Then religious groups leap into the discussion and demand that their mythical taboos be incorporated into the education. In the end, the programs become so mechanical and fear-inducing that even an adult would laugh at the result.

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

My point of view about sexuality is probably off the norm. I don’t believe the function of sex to be about physicality, bonding, religious, or societal aspects of life. I believe sex is centrally about communication.

Bear with me.

In terms of understanding the meaning of the communication of a speaker or author, the lowest form of communication may be the written word. When I write an email, all aspects of vocal and physical clues of my communication are lost. Scholars in Speech Communication call it “impoverished communication.” It means that my words may fail to communicate my intent because the subtleties of my nonverbal cues cannot be conveyed in written form.

A phone conversation is an improvement over email because the other person can hear my intonation and rhythm of my words to understand my meaning. Still, a phone conversation lacks the nonverbal physical clues that help express what I’m trying to say.

Many scholars believe that face to face communication is the highest form of communication because the words and nonverbal cues offer a complete package of meaning that allows the listener to better understand the meaning of the person speaking.

Sex: The Ultimate Communication

Despite the positive aspects of face to face communication, the meaning (or mind-to-mind transfer) of the speaker still may not be fully complete. There is a gap between what the person is thinking, and what the other person interprets from the words and nonverbal cues.

I believe that the physicality of sex leads to the closest humans can come to mind-to-mind communication. Even ‘meaningless’ sex contains a significant communication between the two people that may be denied or discounted by one or both after the encounter but remains regardless.

Mentoring Sexual Communication

While there are differences in sexual encounters based on gender and there are health and procreation issues that must be understood, the unifying aspect of sexuality is communication and its impact on the individual.

A child needs to know that having a sexual relationship with someone will change their view of that person and of themselves. After a first sexual encounter, new aspects of their minds and bodies will be revealed and it likely will trigger a desire to experience that intense experience again.

It doesn’t matter if it is a male/female, male/male, female/female, transgender, or any other type of sexual encounter, the communicative aspect of the sexual encounter will have the same impact. Just as friendship is bonded by discussions and sharing, sex creates a bond with another person that cannot be denied, nor ignored.

The Real Story of Sexuality

Some people seem to think that sex is something that is done after two people have achieved a milestone in their relationship (going steady, marriage, etc.,) but it is not a milestone. Sex is a conversation. I’m not trying to weigh in on the morality of affairs, or sex before marriage, but I do believe that when two people have a sexual encounter it is a sharing of minds that is not easily dismissed as insignificant.

If we could teach that to our children I think they might have a better idea of what they are getting into when they take that step into exploring their own sexuality.

Starbucks: The Adults In the Business World

18 Wednesday Apr 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in All Rights Reserved, Branding, Business, Communication, Crisis Management, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Discrimination, Employee Retention, Ethics, Honor, Human Resources, labor, Lessons of Life, Life, Management Practices, Nevada, Public Image, Public Relations, racism, Respect, Social Media Relations

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CEO, employee relations, Kevin Johnson, Philadelphia, racism, Starbucks, United Airlines

When you have with 238,000 employees, most of whom interact with the public all day, someone is going to do something stupid. That is a fact of human nature. The question is, how the leadership of a company deals with an incident? In the case of Starbucks, you be the adult and not the five-year-old.

Racists Don’t Think They’re Racist

Racism is a major problem in this country. Racists usually don’t know they are a racist. In their minds, they do what they think is ‘natural’ from their cultural perspective. What is natural is what is correct. This means most racists are in the bigot closet and don’t even know it.

There is no racism test for an employer to give a job applicant. If there were, a lot of people would be unemployable. Closet racists are going to be hired at all major corporations. Sometimes, like at Cracker Barrel, the racism is condoned by the employer; however, most companies avoid hiring overtly racists employees. At least that’s what they claim.

Regardless, when an employee does something that is racist, many executives will attempt to minimize the incident, or attempt to deny the issue was about race. The public relations (PR) people are experts at diluting the obvious by reminding the media that motivations can’t be proven. From a PR perspective, a company, like United Airlines, can do no wrong, even when it does something wrong.

Starbucks Policy of Responsibility

The leadership at Starbucks is probably not perfect, but at least they make every attempt to be aware of what is correct from what is wrong. That is why Kevin Johnson, the CEO of Starbucks wasted no time in responding to one of his employees calling the police on two African Americans for trespassing in a Starbucks when they didn’t purchase something in the store.

In this incident is noteworthy that at least six officers were present to arrest two non-combative African American males. It was overkill that the police were called, and overkill that six police responded. If a white man had robbed the Starbucks it is likely that it wouldn’t have had this response.

The victims of this incident were held for over eight hours after being arrested. They were released after the police admitted they had no crime to with which to charge them.

What Starbucks Didn’t Do

Johnson didn’t offer excuses for his company. He didn’t say the video doesn’t really tell the whole story. The CEO didn’t even hint that it might not have been a racist act.

Instead, Johnson offered apology after apology. Johnson met directly with the men involved. He called the act “reprehensible.” It is unclear what happened to the employee in question, but the employee is no longer at that store.

Most companies today look like children trying to cover up their misbehavior after a public relations incident such as this one. It is good to know that Starbucks is capable of using common sense and decency in responding to this situation.

Sadly, the rest of the employees at Starbucks will be impacted by this one person’s act. We all pay for the bad behavior of others.

Ethics Wins…Always

15 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in All Rights Reserved, Business, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Discrimination, Donald Trump, Ethics, Gender Issues, Honor, Lessons of Life, Life, Management Practices, Marketing, Nevada, Politicians, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, racism, Relationships, Religion, Reno, Respect, selling, The Tipping Point, United States, Women

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Car Dealerships, diabetic supply costs, Donald Trump, Ethics, unethical behavior, Unethical Business Practices

People who believe in a deity believe that there is a guiding force in our lives. Most people cling to the idea that, in the end, good will prevail. They want to know that whatever Judgment Day looks like, that ‘bad’ people will fail, and ‘good’ people will win. The need for a deity is secondary because what we really seek is the hope that ethical behavior will triumph over unethical behavior. And it does.

Ethical?: Price of Life for Diabetics

Ethics, Dual Harm Theory, and Time

When someone acts unethically it harms all parties. It, of course, harms the victim(s) of the unethical act, but it also harms the party responsible for the act. Neither of the parties may realize the harm caused at the time of the act. The victim(s) may take years to realize the offense committed. The party responsible may actually have a feeling of pleasure in committing the act. If an unethical act were obvious to the victim(s) and unpleasurable to the perpetrator, we wouldn’t have unethical acts.

But over time, the victim(s) will realize the harm and it will form a negative feeling or reaction that person or party. That negative feeling will become the foundation of the relationship between the two parties and will only be undone by multiple acts of contrition by the perpetrator.

As for the perpetrator, it may take much longer for their feeling of pleasure to spoil. They may even develop a lifestyle based on repeating the unethical behavior, but eventually, they will experience negative repercussions from their unethical acts.

Reaping What They Sow

The first impact of unethical behavior on a perpetrator is mistrust and anger from the victim(s.) This essentially defeats any opportunity for a positive relationship as the betrayal of the perpetrator will determine the relationship.

CASE STUDY: A service department representative at a car dealership gives an estimate of $725 for routine maintenance on a car purchased from them, new, three years prior. When questioned, he offers two other options for lesser maintenance at $600 and $450. The routine maintenance would cost less than $150 anywhere else.

The perpetrator may also become involved in reactions from the victim(s) and/or people who are sympathetic to the victim(s.) Revenge is only one of the possible reactions, as the perpetrator will have people they didn’t even know harbor ill-will toward them. There is no limit to the damage caused by unethical behavior.

Over time, the perpetrator is tainted with the unethical behavior, and all other actions are viewed in light of the previous behavior. Eventually, the perpetrator may realize the offensive nature of the behavior and face an internal conflict of self-loathing compensated with a delusional sense of ego.

Support of Enablers

Some perpetrators of unethical behavior are reinforced by an enabler or enablers. These people prop up the unethical behavior and act as cheerleaders for the perpetrator, while vicariously enjoying the acts of unethical behavior.

The problem for enablers is that a person who is routinely unethical will likely be unethical at some point with the enabler. This eventually leads to enablers to have a limited lifespan of supporting the unethical person.

CASE STUDY: Donald Trump has had 30 notable members of his staff resign or be fired in less than 30 months after being elected President. Most of these people were enthusiastic supporters of Trump. Some of them were let go with little or no notice. In at least one case, the victim learned through a Trump tweet that he was no longer in the position.

Ethical Behavior Builds, Not Destroys

The destruction of unethical behavior is punished over time; however, ethical behavior is rewarded over time. Ethical people tend to be trusted, build lasting relationships, enjoy life more, and have a positive outlook. There is a perverse immediate pleasure that can come from fooling another person into doing something that is not in their interest. That feeling is temporary. Lasting satisfaction comes from doing the correct thing, even when there are other options.

Pets and Us: Emotions of Doginess

13 Friday Apr 2018

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dogs, fighting, Jasmine, joy

I’m using a reprint of an article I first published on 22 February 2014. I should explain that today, 12 April 2018, our dog, Jasmine, was attacked by another dog that was not on his leash. As I felt the emotions of the drama in the park today, and then read the emotions of the article I wrote four years ago, it reminded me of the attachment we have with our pets.

Jasmine’s wound. Broke the skin, but otherwise okay

Pets Under Attack

I should also say that it was much more traumatic for me to watch Jasmine being attacked than it was for her. The dog, likely a pit bull, was bigger than Jasmine and instantly grabbed her by the throat. The dog’s owner and I pulled them apart and I saw the wounds on her throat and took her immediately to our veterinarian. She had to have the wound opened and cleaned, but she will be fine.

From My World, 365 Days, 360 Degrees

A good leader is easy to follow

[From 22 February 2014, minor revisions]

I overuse our animals in this blog, but they are great subjects that don’t object to being photographed.

Jasmine has been with us for about a year and a half. She still has some anxious quirks, but she is getting better. She loves to run, but we can’t let her off leash. Our solution has been to ‘allow’ her to pull us to and from Alexander’s school every day. Her top speed is about 22 mph, but I would guess that she could do almost 30 mph if she was not pulling a human on a bike. She doesn’t need guidance as she knows the way, and she would prefer to not slow down for Stop signs.

Her special talent is the ability to make people smile. As college students walk to class, they can’t help but grin when they see this 40-pound dog pulling us down the street on our bikes. I’m sure it can be nerve-wracking for them as Jasmine comes racing up from behind, but she almost never breaks stride when passing a pedestrian.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate the gift of animals. It is hard to understand why pets love humans so much, but I completely understand why humans love them.

Jasmine’s Joy of Running

Tactical Parking: Backing In to Save a Toddler’s Life

10 Tuesday Apr 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Business, Government, Government Regulation, habits, Lessons of Life, Life, Nevada, parenting, Random, Reno, Respect, Travel, United States, Women

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back in parking, back overs, back up cameras, backing in, front in parking, parking, tactical parking, toddler deaths

Four years ago I wrote a piece on tactical parking. It’s time to revisit the subject. Tactical parking is when a driver backs into a parking space or garage, rather than front-in parking. In 2014, people were making fun of tactical parking. The joke is that it is a ‘guy’ thing. It’s not a joke. It’s about saving children from injury and death.

Tactical Parking: For the sake of every toddler

50 Children a Week

It is estimated that 50 children a week are injured or killed by someone backing hu’s (his or her) car or truck. Two children die every week. Most of these children are about one year old. Backing up a vehicle puts children at risk, and often the victim is the child or the grandchild of the driver.

In 2014, auto manufacturers had until May of this year to install back up cameras on every vehicle, but that does not completely solve the problem. Camera’s have blind spots and cameras require the driver to be focused on the dash, not on what is going on around the car.

Advantages of Tactical Parking

The major advantage of tactical parking (or backing in parking) is driver visibility, both backing in and pulling out. When backing in, the driver has to drive past the parking spot, driveway, or garage allowing a visual inspection of the area through the windshield and side window. This makes is safer for a driver to back in coming from the street or parking lot lane.

The real benefit is that as they pull out, the driver is viewing the area through the windshield, not craning hu’s head around to look out the back window, looking through the rearview mirror, or watching the small screen on the dash. Tactical parking also has the advantage of placing the driver closer to traffic lane when pulling out of a parking space, driveway, or garage.

Backing into a parking space can be a challenge for the inexperienced. It is not something to do when the parking lot is busy and cars are held up; however, tactical parking is only ten to twenty seconds longer that front-in parking.

If a driver can avoid backing completely, that is the optimal situation. In parking lots were two rows of cars park head-to-head, finding a parking spot where the two spaces are empty and the driver can ‘pull through’ is ideal. This allows safe parking and leaves the car facing traffic when it’s time to leave.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I use tactical parking every day and I still don’t do it on the first try. Part of the issue is that I’m anal about being in the middle of the parking space. I also fail to take the time to lower both side mirrors so I can see the parking space lines. The easiest place to practice is usually your own driveway and/or garage. If you live on a busy street, then going to an empty lot to practice is another good option.

The goal is to reduce the amount of backing up a driver has to do. Every hurt or injured child hit by a car backing up is a case of a momentary lapse, or a distraction, or an unexpected move by a child. We can’t eliminate those situations. We can work to have the car facing toward traffic when it moves from a parked postion. That will save a toddler’s life.

Breathe: Inhale to Breakdown Fat, Exhale To Lose It

09 Monday Apr 2018

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Anna Nalick, breathe, Breathe (2AM), breathing, exercise, fat, fat cells, health, weight, weight loss

Fat is not all bad. In fact, it is absolutely necessary as a body regulator and protects the body from injury and heat loss. It is basically an organic, cushy, multiuse storage unit in the body. The problem is that most of us don’t need all that storage, so we attempt to rid ourselves of it. To accomplish that we need to remember to breathe.

BEAR: Do I look fat to you? Think before you answer.

[NOTE: This article is based on an article from Live Science, “What’s in a Fat Cell?”]

Fat Has a Purpose, Many Actually

If we ate the same food, and the same amount on a consistent schedule, fat would be less relevant. Fat is a buffer, retaining surplus compounds and releasing them when the body lacks those compounds.

Most people know fat is storage unit, but it is also a hazmat locker when the bloodstream has can’t process toxins in the blood. Fat also is necessary to process certain vitamins so the cells can use them. In addition, fat has two functions that many people overlook. Fat cells are a shock absorber for the body, and certain fat cells break down and generate heat to help regulate the body temperature.

The Big Three of Fat

Fat has three main elements. Carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. When fat is ‘burned’ it is a chemical process caused by oxygen interacting with the carbon and hydrogen. The outcome is water (H2O) and carbon dioxide (CO2.) The water is removed from the body through sweat or the digestive tract (urine and feces,) but the carbon dioxide is expelled when we exhale.

This makes the respiratory system critical in the elimination of fat cells. The oxygen inhaled is the oxidizer needed to break down the fat cell, and the carbon dioxide is exhaled. When we lose weight, the waste product is liquid and gas, not solid.

So, just breathe…and exercise…and eat healthily.

The Dichotomy of Small Towns: Good People, Small Minds

04 Wednesday Apr 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, All Rights Reserved, College, Communication, Conservatives, Discrimination, Donald Trump, Education, Generational, Gun control, Gun Extremists, Higher Education, History, jobs, Lessons of Life, Life, Nevada, parenting, Politicians, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, racism, Relationships, Religion, Reno, Small town, Travel, United States, Universities, US History, Voting

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aging, CO, confirmation bias, Craig, groupthink, Music Man, Roosevelt, small town life, Small towns, UT

Small communities are two kinds of special. A small community can be a place of good people who would do anything for each other and will help out a stranger if needed. They also can have a darker side of illegal activities, whispered gossip of secret knowledge, and a narrow view of the rest of the world. It is the Jeckle and Hyde personality of a small town that is never discussed, but almost always there.

Small towns: The Pretty

Ruts of a Small Town

Change happens in small towns, but it often follows a counterintuitive logic. If the change is rational, involving a relatively workable plan of implementation, it is often viciously opposed by some people in the community. If the change is a Music Man-type (see video clip below) change consisting of unproven goals with lofty promises, a small community often embraces it.

Small towns. The Ugly

What that means is that small communities often don’t change significantly over time. The ‘BIG’ change that is going to reinvent the community typically falls flat. That results if a fear of change. Without change, life becomes a rut that everyone falls into.

Aging and Small Towns: The ‘Comfort Zone’

Growing up in a small town is an interesting window into human development. Ask high school students what they want to do when they graduate and often the response is, “Get out of this hick town as fast as possible.” Small towns often don’t have enough jobs for high school graduating classes. College is often the best way for children to break out of the small town cycle.

But even those who go off to college sometimes return because there is a ‘comfort zone’ in living where hu grew up. As people grow older, the desire to ‘get out of Dodge’ is replaced with the fear of living somewhere else. That fear is eventually replaced by an intense loyalty to small-town life. Usually, older the person, the more defensive they are about living in a small town.

Small Towns and Confirmation Bias

In a small town, everyone knows everyone. As people age, they have a select few friends that they have significant contact. In some cases, daily contact. Unlike cities, people in small towns may see the same people at work, at school, at the grocery store, at church, etc. This immersion with other people creates intimate friendships that are as close, possibly closer, than marriage relationships.

People in small towns have limited experiences with people outside of their community and intimate friendships. They tend to develop a groupthink about the world and people outside their community. When all your close friends have the same lack of knowledge and experience with the rest of the world, people are exposed to ‘confirmation bias.’ This bias occurs when friends confirm a person’s beliefs, and other information that might counter those beliefs are ignored or unknown by the group.

Typically, confirmation bias fosters negative attitudes about people who are not like them. That leads to a conservative mindset that is easily exploited. It is not a coincidence that rural environments are ripe for politically conservative influence because they focus on telling rural communities exactly what they want to hear.

Small Town Black Holes

All of this is a generalization of small town people. To be fair, problems of larger communities, such as traffic, noise, pollution, homelessness, etc. are not the ideals of any community; however, small towns have an environment that generates the same patterns over and over. Children in a small town will often grow up to be like hu’s parents. People living in a marginal society disjoined from the world.

Tax Breaks Don’t Work When Everyone is Giving Them

02 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Business, Conservatives, Donald Trump, Economy, Ethics, Government, Government Regulation, jobs, labor, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Nevada, Panama, Politicians, Politics, Real Estate, Reno, selling, Taxes, Travel, United States, US History

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Business, capital gains tax, corporate taxes, income tax, Nevada, tax breaks, tax revenue

The United States of America has a tax problem. We have too many local and state governments using ‘fire-sale’ tactics to attract business through tax breaks. It is a problem caused by conservatives. They have created the myth that taxes hurt business so lower taxes will increase business. The irony is that the strategy that conservatives inflict on government is a strategy that they would laugh at in the business world.

Panama’s strategy of low or no taxes brings in the wrong business

What’s Bad For Business is Bad For Government

When a business puts their products on sale, they do so with the expectation that it will increase business and volume will make up for the lower price. If the sale price is too low the business loses money. In addition, the customer might think there is something wrong with the product when the price is too low. If a company’s competitors match or beat the sale price, everyone loses except the customer. It is not good business.

The same is true for governments. Tax breaks reduce revenue for the maintenance and improvement of local communities. When tax breaks are overused, the community suffers from the lost revenue. The myth is that less tax revenue is more money for everyone only works if the tax break has no significant impact on the quality of the government. In addition, if competing governments are giving the same or better tax breaks the strategy fails for everyone.

In Nevada, the State has no income tax, no inventory tax, no corporate tax, and no capital gains tax. When the state or local government gives a tax break to a business, it is automatically a net loss for the community. Any business moving to Nevada is already coming for the low tax rate and any other break is just giving away money.

Panama’s What Not To Do

Panama has about the same population of Oklahoma. That is not a lot of people for tax revenue purposes. In 1994, Panama passed a law that basically gave a tax break to a property owner for 20 years. It was more complicated than that, but it attracted a lot of foreign investors. What happened?

It attracted people of modest wealth that were looking for only for the tax break. The jobs created were minimal, but it dramatically increased the value of land and property. Citizens of Panama suddenly found that home prices skyrocketed and because many were living as tenants, they had to move when the landlord sold the property for more money.

The end result was no one benefited from the tax strategy but wealthy developers.

Tax Breaks Always Fail

The reality is that tax breaks always fail. Despite thousands of tax breaks being given by local and state governments every year, there is no evidence that they actually have a positive impact on the citizens of the community. Tax breaks for companies don’t create more jobs, increase worker pay, or improve a dying economy. They make rich people richer.

Novice Directors Make Theatre Painful

29 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, All Rights Reserved, College, Communication, Directing, Education, Entertainment, Higher Education, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Nevada, Pride, Random, Recreation, Reno, Theatre

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BFA Theatre, Blocking, Directing, give focus, lighting design, Plays, scene changes, set design, Shakespeare, take focus, technical theatre, Theatre, William Shakespeare

For five years we ran a small theatre company. Between children plays and main stage adult plays we produced up to twelve shows a year. I had a BFA in Techincal Theatre; however, the experience as a teacher, director, technical director, actor, and executive director forced me to quickly improve all my skills.

Church and School Plays: How to teach young people to hate theatre

The Theatre Director’s Curse

I’m embarrassed to say how bad our first productions were but my skills I did improve over time. Now, I find watching a play is a constant effort to try and enjoy the action of the stage while suppressing my analysis of the work of the director. I deliberately avoid attending plays because I often can’t enjoy what is happening on stage.

My worst experience as an audience member was when I saw King Lear in Stratford-upon-Avon on a theatre tour in England. A Japanese director had violated several basic responsibilities of staging. While his work had been given high praise by many, I found myself looking for a nice pub after intermission.

What Not To Do

Here are some basic mistakes of novice directors:

Chaotic Blocking

An audience member cannot focus on the entire stage at once. It is the job of the director to guide the audience’s attention. Normally that is to the person talking, but it also includes key actions that give the audience information nonverbally. Blocking is the term used to describe how the director uses the movements of the actors to give focus (release the audience’s attention) and take focus (draw the audience’s focus.)

No movement on stage should be unplanned. If an actor is wandering aimlessly on the stage it is the director’s failure to give clear guidance to the actor. Blocking also requires that a director knows at least five ways for an actor to give and take focus. If they don’t know this, the audience will miss keys lines and action that establish the story.

Plodding Scene Changes

OH…MY…GOD! Any scene change that takes more than ten seconds is a failure. The play is a story and the scene change has NOTHING to do with the story. It actually breaks the concentration of the audience and the actors. The scene change is choreography. Everything must be rehearsed over and over with the lights down. Once the scene change is perfected, it must happen exactly the same way every time.

Bad Actor Management

During the rehearsal process, the director will begin to notice which actors may not be capable of handling their role. It is the job of the director to manage the actors and address performance issues. The director must either coach the actor, cut lines, transfer lines, or take other action to resolve the issue. A bad performance is the director’s fault.

Over Designing the Show

Scenic, costume, and lighting design enhance the play. They do not tell the story, and they can often be distracting. Actors are the alpha and omega of a play. Light them, dress them, surround them with a set to perform on, but never forget that a great actor can play a character on a bare stage, with a candle, in hu’s* underwear.

100 Consecutive Days of Writing

22 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Branding, Communication, Generational, habits, Health, Internet, Journalism, Language, Lessons of Life, Life, Mental Health, Nevada, Reno, review, Social Interactive Media (SIM), Technology, Website, Wordpress, Writing

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100 days, Blogging, journalism, language, Publishing, words, writer, writing

On 13 December 2017, I published an article titled, “Send Our Trash Into Space.” That began a streak of 100 consecutive days of posting an article. I had no grand plan to start publishing daily, but after a week it became addictive. I decided to go for two weeks, then a month. Now it’s been over three months, and I’ve discovered something about writing every day. It’s about me.

Personal View Writing is Historical, Not Instant Analysis

Writing on a frequent basis is not great for the reader. There is a saturation point at which I passed a long time ago. To keep someone’s attention over the long-term usually requires a mystery, sensationalism, a serial-type plot, or some other device to capture a reader’s mind. I write in an episodic style that is observational. My readership numbers ebb and flow depending on the topic, but I’m not writing to attract an audience.

Our world has become obsessed with instant analysis, interview the person on the street, report the story before we have the facts, and/or assess the pulse of our society based on what is trending on social media. That is not necessarily bad, but it is not news. That is ‘entertainment.’ Its focus is attracting a bigger audience.

News organizations have always fought for market share, but in the days of Watergate and before, journalistic integrity was the foundation and audience size was secondary. Now all the media organizations are investor-owned and viewer/listener/reader body count is the center of the news world. When the goal of ‘news’ media is based on the size of the audience, the focus turns to the most outrageous, most shocking, most disgusting stories.

We have made the news into a for-profit business, and that means its primary focus is to entertain, not report. What is needed is an alternate view that is not about trying to entertain to attract an audience. The perspective of the individual writer, devoid of concerns of the accountants, is the last remnant of what was called journalism.

Witness To a Calamity

I am convinced we are in a time of crisis. We are the frogs in the pot that the heat has been slowly turned up to a boil. Many are in a state of denial, but no one can deny that our society is in upheaval with a severe conflict in process.

I am not the one who can judge the effectiveness of my writing but I hope that by offering my perspective, not for entertainment or market share, that it will give the sense of the time of this crisis. Our country has made horrible mistakes that the future needs to understand.

I’m sure people in the future will wonder at how we allowed these Republicans and this President to rise to power. In part, my political writing is to give my viewpoint in how and why that happened. Writing is a recording of history and the United States in 2018 is a time of dire history.

My Method

Not all my writing is about politics. I also try to interject subjects that interest and/or amaze me. I’m not sure I can claim to have a method in my writing. Most of the time I create a working title for the topic a few days in advance. Usually, that is all I have to start with when I start writing. I don’t plan out, nor outline my articles. If I have multiple points to make in an story I will sometimes write draft headings to remind me.

Typically, I do some research on the issue, but sometimes that doesn’t occur until a reach the point in the article that I’m trying to say something that should be backed up with a fact or source. I link to my sources rather than footnote the source. If I’m writing a reaction piece to an event or act I will link the article or include a quote.

I’m not held to any standard of truth, but my own. There have been times I have started writing about a topic and changed my opinion about the issue during my research. As a liberal, I know I have an opinion, but I it also means that I have to support my opinion. That doesn’t make my opinion correct, but it is absolutely required in a decent society.

The Score

In 2016 I wrote 40 articles using 22,085 words (an average of 552 words per article.) In 2017 I wrote 53 articles using 23,954 words (an average of 452 words per article.) So far in 2018 I’ve written 82 articles (including this one) using 47,337 words (an average of 577 words per article.)

I don’t know if I will keep going on the streak. I have other writing projects that I would like to finish and I find that writing at this pace is difficult to maintain. Regardless, this has been very rewarding for me. I hope it has been of some benefit to you.

Looking Back

Here are the articles I’ve published during the last 100 days (and more):

DECEMBER 2017

DATE

TITLE

WORDS

13-Dec-17	Send Our Trash Into Space	271
14-Dec-17	The End of the United States of America	225
15-Dec-17	School Vouchers Are About Religion and Racism, Not Choice	625
16-Dec-17	Journalists Using Uneducated, Uninformed Opinion As Fact	237
17-Dec-17	Government Regulation Makes USA Business Great	412
18-Dec-17	Redacted Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi	477

[NOTE: Articles from 19 December 2017 to 28 February 2018 are not currently linked. This is being corrected.]


19-Dec-17	What Happens In Sixty Years	304
20-Dec-17	Senator Dean Heller is Still a Stockbroker	298
21-Dec-17	A New Year’s Earthquake?	386
22-Dec-17	Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi	217
22-Dec-17	Failure to Diagnose: Right Hemisphere Strokes	482
23-Dec-17	SpaceX and Mars: The Illogical Strategy	453
24-Dec-17	GOP War on the Spirit of Christmas	326
25-Dec-17	Can Venus Be Made Habitable?	475
26-Dec-17	Illogical: Commercial Real Estate Price Boom in an Internet Economy	183
27-Dec-17	Religion Controls Equality For Women	398
28-Dec-17	Dear Republican: Your Party Left Without You	345
29-Dec-17	1929 is Coming	216
30-Dec-17	Are You Not Breathing When You Sleep?	670
31-Dec-17	Understanding Global Warming and Cold Weather	530

JANUARY 2018

DATE

TITLE

WORDS

1-Jan-18	Why a Bigger Government is Being Fiscally Responsible	507
2-Jan-18	Need a New Plan for Gaining Political Support	285
3-Jan-18	Nevada’s Pot Business About to be Smoked	401
4-Jan-18	Telsa Powerwall Has Product-Killing Questions Unanswered	1000
5-Jan-18	Trump Corrupt Public Relations: Using Business PR as the Model	393
6-Jan-18	12 Days in 1968	956
7-Jan-18	1968 Mystery: Four Subs Lost In Four Months	626
8-Jan-18	To Sleep, Perchance To Dream	327
9-Jan-18	Panamá versus Oklahoma: Transportation	457
10-Jan-18	Zuma Fail: Why Space Is No Place For Private Business	509
11-Jan-18	Rapid HR Hiring Process Required In Professional Environment	477
12-Jan-18	ICE Solidifies Itself As Trump’s SS Police	555
13-Jan-18	About This, About Writing	412
14-Jan-18	Panamá’s Caribbean Afterthought	805
15-Jan-18	Why You Won’t See A Tax Cut	338
16-Jan-18	Why Trumpsters Don’t Understand Anti-Trump Reactions	377
17-Jan-18	Should the Nuremberg Code Be Applied to Internet Data Collection?	1212
18-Jan-18	Government Shutdown An Opportunity	416
19-Jan-18	NASA’s Orion Capsule: A ‘Look Busy’ Project?	1067
20-Jan-18	Total Lunar Eclipse January 31…Western United States	243
21-Jan-18	Popes That Damned Women, Choice, and Humanity	708
22-Jan-18	An Indictment Against NPR Journalism Standards	745
23-Jan-18	SpaceX Falcon Heavy-Lift Rocket: A Soviet-Style Disaster?	865
24-Jan-18	Why the Stock Market is Like a Strip Club	316
25-Jan-18	Trump and GOP Causing Emotional Numbness?	455
26-Jan-18	Employee Relations: The You’re-Not-Getting-a-Raise-Letter	342
27-Jan-18	Why We Elect the Wrong People?: #1 Business Wants Dumb Politicians	428
28-Jan-18	The Day Business Killed The NASA Space Program	1246
29-Jan-18	The State of the Union of the United States of America	1069
30-Jan-18	Why We Elect the Wrong People?: #2 We Don’t Understand the Purpose of a Republic	592
31-Jan-18	2018 Blue Moon Lunar Eclipse	499

FEBRUARY 2018

DATE

TITLE

WORDS

1-Feb-18	Zuma Mystery: It’s Classified and Invisible…Apparently	777
2-Feb-18	Should You Become a Parent?	789
3-Feb-18	The Plantar Wart and HPV	385
4-Feb-18	Housing Prices Edge Closer to Catastrophe	419
5-Feb-18	Stock Market Symptom of Great Depression, Not Cause	629
6-Feb-18	GOP Memo is Last Straw	343
7-Feb-18	SpaceX Falcon Heavy Defies the Odds	484
8-Feb-18	66 Years Ago: A Princess in Africa Becomes Queen	392
9-Feb-18	North Korea Bizzare Olympics Stunt	382
10-Feb-18	Snowpack is No Longer a Viable Water Supply	583
11-Feb-18	500th WordPress PAULx Post: Milestone of Words	553
12-Feb-18	Forget Stock Market & Bitcoin, Invest in Mendadent Toothpaste	329
13-Feb-18	Reno Nevada Mayor Schieve Declares She is Uninformed	804
14-Feb-18	To Love Your Child, Be Honest With Them	652
15-Feb-18	Corp USA: “The Stock Market Requires We Underpay You”	312
16-Feb-18	Space Exploration Isn’t Profitable, It’s Transformative	707
17-Feb-18	McDonald’s Shake Machines Legendary Unreliability	551
18-Feb-18	Mass Shooters Not Criminals Before They Picked Up A Gun	341
19-Feb-18	Are These People the Next Mass Shooter?	353
20-Feb-18	Center of the Milky Way: Update	608
21-Feb-18	Second Amendment: A Well Regulated Militia	501
22-Feb-18	Victims of Major Mass Shootings Since Sandy Hook Elementary	709
23-Feb-18	David Brooks is Wrong Again on Guns	473
24-Feb-18	Five ‘Facts’ About the Equinox?	529
25-Feb-18	Trumpster ‘Hillary’ Excuse Proves Russian Influence	1701
26-Feb-18	Hiding Journalists Behind the Paywall	527
27-Feb-18	My Imaginary Interview with Marketplace’s Kai Ryssdal	499
28-Feb-18	SpaceX 2018 Launch Schedule Is PR Gold or PR Nightmare	681

MARCH 2018

DATE

TITLE

WORDS

1-Mar-18	Pigs In Space: Discrimination on the ISS	744
2-Mar-18	Trump’s Family: Keepers of the Big Liar	335
3-Mar-18	Is There a Planet Nine or Not?	553
4-Mar-18	Urban Coyotes	609
5-Mar-18	Could David Brooks Be Correct About Being Wrong?	664
5-Mar-18	Breaking News: Trump Loses Control of Hotel in Panama	321
6-Mar-18	Pence’s White Greed National Space Council	710
7-Mar-18	Trump’s Trade Deficit Talk Proves Lack of Knowledge	522
8-Mar-18	Leadership Madness: Time To Check Trump’s Urine Color	373
9-Mar-18	Three Myths That Gun Extremist Believe	350
10-Mar-18	Magnetic Pole Reversal: Will It Turn Our World Upside Down?	620
11-Mar-18	Time To Stop Changing Time? Why We Need Daylight Saving Time All Year	425
12-Mar-18	Are We Ready For Gender Neutral Language?	355
13-Mar-18	Why Are Conservatives Anti-Society?	558
14-Mar-18	NRA is Not a Gun Safety Organization	719
15-Mar-18	The Ides of March is Really About the Moon	381
16-Mar-18	Three Steps For Solving the Assault-Type Weapons Problem	375
17-Mar-18	Saint Patrick Wasn’t Irish and Other Facts?	461
18-Mar-18	Roots of ‘Easter’ Myth Adapted For New Testament	946
19-Mar-18	Why Are There 360 Degrees in a Circle?	376
20-Mar-18	First Day of Spring is Fake News	506
21-Mar-18	Ten Reasons There is Life on Earth	965
22-Mar-18	100 Consecutive Days of Writing	828
23-Mar-18	GOP Disease: Say It, Then Apologize	477
24-Mar-18	Saturn V’s F-1 Engine: The Monster That Made USSR Cry	445
25-Mar-18	Trump’s Tariffs Are For Putin	775
26-Mar-18	The Sad Life of a Russian Troll (Печальная жизнь русского тролля)	697
27-Mar-18	Journalism Ethics: Interviewing the Reporter As a News Source	507
28-Mar-18	Falling Sky: China’s Tiangong 1 Space Station Last Hours	355
29-Mar-18	Novice Directors Make Theatre Painful	536
30-Mar-18	Trump’s Soviet-Style Government	409
31-Mar-18	Our Roving Intelligent Life On Mars	427

APRIL 2018

DATE

TITLE

WORDS

1-Apr-18	April Fool’s Day is Donald Trump Day	368
2-Apr-18	Tax Breaks Don’t Work When Everyone is Giving Them	502
3-Apr-18	Should Federal Dollars Go To States With Low Taxes?	451
4-Apr-18	The Dichotomy of Small Towns: Good People, Small Minds	608
5-Apr-18	My First and Final (gulp) Imaginary Interview With Terry Gross	833

First Day of Spring is Fake News

20 Tuesday Mar 2018

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cold, fake news, first day of Spring, northern hemisphere, Spring, tornados, Vernal Equinox, warm air, Weather, weather people, winter

Today at 9:15 am Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) the Sun will be directly over the equator. For this reason, the news media will relentlessly remind us that Spring is here. They will tell us it is the return of warm weather! Yea! But, don’t be fooled by their fake news.

Springtime in the Northern Hemisphere. Bah!

You Call This Spring?

The Vernal equinox may be the date that the Sun comes back over to our side of the equator, but let’s be real, warm weather doesn’t rush back the northern hemisphere. At least not to those over 35° north latitude. Some of us will be lucky to see our shadow on the first day of Spring. Forget about the stupid groundhog that never, ever is correct.

The northern hemisphere will continue to be smothered in cold air masses and bring snow down across much of the lower 48 states. (Don’t get smug Hawai’i. You can have snowstorms after the Vernal equinox, too. You just have to climb a really tall volcano to get to it.) The media calls them ‘Spring snowstorms’ as if that is supposed to make us feel better about them. News flash: It doesn’t.

And don’t get me started on those people who like to slip down a snow-covered slope while trying to stand on bent slats of fiberglass. They are all smiles when a new storm dumps more solid water in the mountains. After the third week in March, skiing and snowboarding should be done on ice and melting snow, as God intended. None of this ‘fresh powder’ crap.

Spring Reality Check

For the next three months, the axis tilt of the Earth will increasingly favor the Sun in the northern hemisphere. For those of us that are done with cold weather, we have to remember that warm and cold are like new lovers can’t get enough of each other.

As the lower latitudes of the northern hemisphere heat up, the cold air in the higher latitudes rushes down to embrace the warmth. Tornados in northern Florida are an indication that the Sun is heating up the northern hemisphere and the winter cold is rushing down to meet it. As we move from March to April to May to June, tornados will show up farther and farther north.

The Script

News media will still try to convince us that the weather significantly changes on 20 March. I’ve stolen an advance copy of the script that is to be used by local television weather people across the northern United States:

Weatherperson:

(Try to sound homey) Well, it looks like Spring is here, but we still have some Spring snowstorms hanging around for the next few days, weeks, or possibly months. These storms are Spring storms so the temperature will be one half a degree warmer than during the Winter. We should see only a trace of snow, up to two meters if your house is located within the area of snowfall. It will quickly melt off in May, so get out there and enjoy the Spring weather!

Time To Stop Changing Time? Why We Need Daylight Saving Time All Year

11 Sunday Mar 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, All Rights Reserved, Astronomy, Daylight Saving Time, Economy, Generational, Government, habits, Health, History, Lessons of Life, Mental Health, Recreation, Reno, Science, solar, Space, Technology, Travel, United States, US History

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clock, Daylight Saving Time, DST, Standard Time, time change, Year Round

Many people dislike the two days of the year we go to or revert from Daylight Saving Time (DST.) It requires changing the clocks and adjusting to the new rhythm of our activity related to the rise and set of the Sun. It is annoying and, as a species, annoyance is a prompt for finding a solution. Perhaps it is time to stop changing time.

A Problem of Degrees

We should recognize that the length of day is only an issue for those living between 30° and 70° latitude. The length of day within 30° of the equator doesn’t radically change from summer to winter. Above 70° latitude, the Sun sets for weeks or months during the winter and there are not many people living that close to the poles.

For those living between 30° and 70° latitude, there is an undeniable problem. Reno, Nevada, USA is at 39° north latitude. At the summer solstice, the day is almost 15 hours long and sunrise is at 5:30 am under Daylight Saving Time. If we did not have DST, the sun would rise at 4:30 am.

A Diurnal Vespertine-Adapted Species

In an agrarian economy, working in the field is easier during daylight hours. In that situation, time is relative to a solar schedule; however, in an interactive urban economy, working in shops and offices is more suitable for a common clock schedule.

After artificial electric light became the standard, and after the population moved into cities, we became a diurnal, vespertine-adapted species. Most of our country’s population works during the daylight hours and participates in non-work activities in the evenings. Today, most people are not active before six in the morning, but they remain active until 10 pm or later.

Sunrise before 6 am disturbs the typical sleep patterns of humans, and light later into the evening is more suitable for evening activities. Daylight Saving Time creates a favorable environment for a later sunrise and more sun in the evening.

Daylight Saving Time Year Round

Standard Time was traditionally based on the position of the Sun at High Noon. That approximately divided the daylight into Morning and Afternoon. We no longer use High Noon as the foundation of Standard Time; however, it is an artifact of a primarily agrarian economy. Daylight Saving Time was used to adapt the clock to human behavior as we moved from the farms to more urban living.

Time is a human invention. It should serve the needs of humans. It would seem it is time to stop punishing humans with Standard Time and remain on Daylight Savings Time for the entire year.

Leadership Madness: Time To Check Trump’s Urine Color

08 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, All Rights Reserved, Crisis Management, Economy, Ethics, Generational, Government, Government Regulation, Health, History, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Mental Health, Politicians, Politics, Public Image, racism, Republic, Russian influence, Taxes, The Tipping Point, United States, US History

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bipolar disorder, Congress, Donald Trump, GOP, Hitler, King George III, Leadership Madness, Mad King, Mussolini, porphyria, Republicans

King George III was an odd man in his later years. Sometimes talking without stopping for hours. He had a vengeful hate for the United States and hoped to war with our country incessantly until our spirit was destroyed. King George had episodes of odd behavior and his urine was allegedly blue. He was the focus of the American colonies desire to gain independence, and he was considered ‘mad.’ Maybe it’s time to check Donald Trump’s urine.

Enablers Surround Donald Trump

Destroyer of Nations: Diarrhea of a Leaders Thoughts

The final analysis of King George III’s reign is that he didn’t have the disease (porphyria) that turns urine purplish but rather had a bipolar disorder possibly caused by arsenic poison. His behavior towards the American colonies was a major factor in the cause of the American Revolution and his need to express himself verbally and in written words inflamed the situation.

A sentence containing 400 words and eight verbs was not unusual. George III, when ill, often repeated himself…

Historically, when a leader of a country becomes aggressive and vengeful, it often creates the devastation of that nation. Hitler, Mussolini, and even the Emperor of Japan took an aggressive stand that destroyed their countries. Aggressive and vengeful political leadership is a dangerous sign in for the well-being of its citizens.

Donald Trump is out of control, much like King George III. He is randomly lashing out and leaving his closest supporters desperately trying to explain his actions. We have never had a leader of the United States so out of balance in his words and deeds. He is a man who believes that he is unstoppable.

March 5, 2018

Leadership Madness: Raiding the Vault In the Chaos

The problem is that the Republicans in Congress are using this as an opportunity to take outrageous steps motivated by greed and ideology. They have no motivation to intercede and bring back stability. Our government was designed to have checks and balances but we are in a situation where that concept has become impotent.

Civility is a delicate balance of a conscious effort by a society. When that balance is destroyed there is no easy way to restore it. It is a crime for which everyone is punished.

Urban Coyotes

04 Sunday Mar 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Lessons of Life, parenting, Recreation, United States, Wildlife

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Colorado, Coyote, coyotes, coywolf, coywolves, Craig, lunar eclipse, Nevada, Peavine Mountain, Reno, urban coyotes, wildlife

I grew up in a small town in northwestern Colorado. It was in a rural area surrounded by sagebrush and dirt roads. As I grew up I heard coyotes often, but rarely did I see one. I knew what they looked like, but they had plenty of jackrabbits, bunnies (not the same thing,) and other small creatures as food outside of town. They didn’t need to come into town and it was a dangerous place to be with a gun rack in every truck. The idea of an urban coyote was contrary to common sense.

Coyote on our driveway last May

Urban Coyotes: A Different Animal

For the last 23 years, I have lived in Reno, Nevada. Our house is two blocks from the University of Nevada. It is about a mile from the nearest open field and the slopes of Peavine Mountain. We have coyotes on our street on a regular basis. We live with a new type of coyote that is urbanized and we are in its hunting ground.

Until recently I didn’t understand that Reno is surrounded by packs of coyotes living off a human community. I knew pets often disappeared, blamed on a mysterious coyote, (NOTE: The evidence contradicts this belief,) but I assumed it meant the pet had wandered too far out in an open field. My eyes were opened on the morning of 31 January 2018.

Coyotes Galore

Early that morning I went out to see the total lunar eclipse. At 4:30 am I drove to one of the highest subdivisions in Reno, built on the slope of Peavine Mountain. As the eclipse ended and Earth’s shadow left the Moon, the area exploded with coyote calls in every direction.

The volume of calls and the fact that they came from multiple directions forced me into a new realization. These were not a few random coyotes that wandered too close to town. These we part of the ecosystem of Reno. These are urban coyotes.

Last week this was concept was brought home to me, literally, when we had three sightings of a coyote in five days on our street. It is likely that we live in a corridor between the open space and a park that is overrun with squirrels. These are stupid squirrels, so I can understand the interest of the coyotes. I accidentally killed one with my bike a few years ago when it ran under me as I was riding down the pathway.

Human Attacks by Coyotes

Coyotes tend to avoid humans at all costs; however, under certain circumstances, coyotes will attack a small child. There have only been two recorded deaths by a coyote(s,) but in the northeastern United States and Eastern Canada, there is an animal known as coywolf that some say is more aggressive and others say is timid like the coyote.

What I find interesting is that coyote and coywolf behavior seems to be evolving in a relatively short period. Most coyotes hunt at night and can easily be chased away, which has kept them as a low threat to humans; however, as they become more adapted to human environments they may begin to lose some of their shyness.

Urban Coyotes Do’s and Don’ts

Be on the lookout for coyotes.
Yell at them and spook them away.
Keep a close eye on small children and pets, especially in unfenced areas.
Report any aggressive act by a coyote to the local wildlife authority.

Don’t

Try to lure them to you.
Feed them, nor leave food out, nor allow a food source to be available.
Let dogs chase them. (coyotes have been known to lure dogs away.)
Let cats out at night.

McDonald’s Shake Machines Legendary Unreliability

17 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Branding, Business, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Employee Retention, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Marketing, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, review, selling, Technology

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employees, fast food, food machines, ice cream, McDonald's, milkshakes, Nevada, Reno, Restaurant, service, shakes, Shamrock Shakes, supervisors, worker

It may be just me, but something seems to be amiss with McDonald’s shake and ice cream machines. My experience tells me it’s a 50-50 chance the machine will not be working when I order a shake. Guess what? It’s not just me.

The six McDonald’s I visited in Reno, NV, USA

Apparently, the reliability, or lack thereof, of McDonald’s shake machines and ice cream machines are legendary in the fast food world. It’s so bad that last year McDonald’s corporate folks announced they were replacing the ice cream machine in every store.

Shaky Reputation For McD’s Milkshakes

An online search found multiple responses to questions about McDonald’s shake machines. On Reddit, one person asked:

McDonald’s employees: why is the milkshake machine always out of order?

Response from an alleged McDonald’s employee was:

This machine is incredibly hard to keep up and running if you have no idea what you are doing. It turns off automatically around 11 pm. It turns back on in the morning about 4 am. …Once a month it will turn off for it to be cleaned… someone must completely take it apart to clean it. If it is put back together improperly or not clean enough it will shut off after about an hour and you must clean it again.

Former McDonalds Shift Manager

On Quora the responses to a similar question were:

Even for machines that produce products like the McFlurry, the cleaning and maintenance required is such that it is easily among the most hated tasks to be performed… a milkshake or McFlurry is a product that is usually made by the cashier. … Each McFlurry represents an added task… any request for that item represents added work for the employee with no benefit to accomplishing any of their main tasks faster… there is little downside to simply not providing this service when at all possible.

Former McDonald’s Employee

1. Laziness…
2. The cleaning process…
3. …complicated piece of machinery…

Current McDonald’s Employee

McDonald's Shaking Up It's Shake Machine?

The New Shake Machine? At least this one was working.

McD’s in Reno, Nevada

I made nine visits to six McDonald’s restaurants in the Reno, Nevada area this week. All occurred in the afternoon to early evening. I had four instances where the shake machine was out of order; however, in one instance they said it would be ready in a few minutes, and we (my son was with me) scored our first Shamrock Shake of the season at that location.

The three other times that the shake machine was out of order all occurred at one restaurant on three consecutive days. Five other McDonald’s had working shake machines.

Will It Be Hunting Season For the Shamrock Shake?

With the famous Shamrock Shake season coming up, will it be hunting season for those who are seeking the elusive green treat? Probably not. If the one problem location is removed from my unscientific survey, the shake machines at most of the McDonald’s restaurants could be considered reliable during peak hours.

It also seems that based on the comments of past employees, the reliability of the shake machine might be more a question of the quality of the employees and their management. I will certainly be cautious of McDonald’s locations that seem to have shake machine issues because it is likely that their problems are not isolated bad machine maintenance.

Space Exploration Isn’t Profitable, It’s Transformative

16 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Apollo, Business, Economy, Education, Exploration, Falcon Heavy, Generational, Government, Higher Education, History, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, NASA, Passionate People, Politics, Pride, Saturn V, Space, SpaceX, Taxes, Technology, Travel, United States, Universities, US History, US Space Program

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Age of Discovery, Apollo, Apollo missions, Columbus, economy, Golden Age of Spain, good jobs, jobs, NASA, privatization, return on investment, ROI, Soviet space program, Soviets, Space, space exploration, Spain, Technology, wages

Space exploration ROI (return on investment) sucks. Exploration doesn’t make money, it costs money. It’s not a place for private business. If the question of space exploration is, “What’s in it for me?” you’re asking the wrong question. Space exploration isn’t profitable, but it is transformative.

The five massive Rocketdyne F-1 engines of the Apollo Saturn V first stage booster. Twice the lift of SpaceX’s 27-engine Falcon Heavy

Exploration Creates Economic Growth

In the 15th century, when the government of Spain financed Columbus to explore a new trade route to the markets in Asia, he discovered the Caribbean. He brought back a few captured natives from the Bahamas, some gold, and a few birds. It didn’t pay for the cost of the voyage.

But what came next transformed Spain and Europe. The year of the discovery of the Americas (1492) is considered the start of the Golden Age of Spain. After Columbus first voyage to the new world, Spain continued with more voyages, and eventually the full exploitation of Central and South America. Most historians focus on the resources that were returned to Spain, but what happened at home was even more important.

Shipbuilding entered a new phase of design and construction. Jobs at home created a new wealth for the working class. Craftsmen, as well as sailors, became vital to the needs of the Age of Discovery. That new wealth created secondary jobs, along with new businesses selling imported goods. All of this economic growth was a direct result of the exploration pushed forward by the government of Spain.

Exploration created massive economic growth for decades, but exploration didn’t give an immediate ROI for Spain.

The Model Space Program

Not all space programs are successful. The Soviet space program became mired in conflicts between good science and engineering versus political priorities. The administration was pushed into risky decisions and failure was not without punishment. In addition, new technology was considered a State secret so the development of commercial uses was not an option.

The United States approach for the space program was for the use of non-military government oversight of private contractors. The government remained accountable to the voters, which kept both the government and their contractors in a stable environment for decision making.

The result was a massive increase in highly-skilled, well-paid jobs that created a new wealth for the middle class. Space exploration supercharged the United States economy and created new technology that continued to develop for decades after the Apollo program ended. It was the model space exploration program.

A Failure of Vision

Once the United States had landed on the Moon conservatives and liberals united to kill the space program. Liberals could only see the money being spent to explore space as money that could have been used to help the poor. Conservatives could only see money not going into their pockets. As it would turn out, both viewpoints were flawed.

Money spent on for space exploration created new, high paying jobs that created a need for improved education and pumped billions of dollars into the economy that created new tax revenue that could be used for government programs to help the poor engage in the new economy.

The flood of new money into the economy helped small companies grow dramatically while increasing profits. It didn’t result in the wealthy becoming dramatically richer, but it did create prosperity that helped everyone.

Missing Greatness

Today the United States is wading in a stagnant economy. Wages aren’t growing as fast as prices are rising. The available jobs pay so poorly that they aren’t worth the cost of working them. If we are missing greatness, it is because we are killing our economy with a focus on profit for a few.

The goal of private business is never to create jobs, nor is it to create high paying jobs. Jobs are created when business has been given a mission to accomplish something. Giving tax breaks does not give business a reason to create more jobs, nor pay employees more.

However, if our country made a serious commitment to the goal of expanding space exploration, and funded it with the tax breaks we are giving billionaires, we would see our economy transformed. It is that simple.

To Love Your Child, Be Honest With Them

14 Wednesday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Ethics, genealogy, Generational, Honor, Lessons of Life, Mental Health, parenting, Pride, Relationships, Respect, Women

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affair, betrayal, biological father, Dad, deception, disappointment, father, honest, honesty, love, marriage, mom, mother, parents, sleeping monster

Children don’t have a choice. Parents are parents and they are human. The child-parent bond can be amazing, it can be non-existent, or it can be anything between. For those that desire a good relationship with her or his child, trust has to be the foundation. A child has to know that regardless of everything else, his or her parent is honest with them.

That is not always easy. There are times when it is harder to be honest with a son or daughter, especially when the truth reveals the human flaws of the parent. In those circumstances, avoidance of the truth may seem to be what is best; however, the risk is that the child will discover the truth and then everything about the relationship can be called into question.

My Lesson In Trust

A year ago I learned that my Dad was not my father. It is difficult, if not impossible, to absorb news like that all at once. After six decades of attachment to the family name of ‘Kiser,’ it took awhile to put the new information into a perspective. It did not radically change my life, but it did dismantle half of the foundation that my life was built upon.

After learning the truth I began to ask the questions that I had never considered. Did my Dad know? Did my real biologic Father know? Did my Mom know, or did she just wonder? Who else knew? My Mom, Dad, and biological Father have passed away, so I couldn’t get their version of the truth. I tried to imagine the various scenarios of what happened and how they would have played out.

Fortunately, there was a person still alive who knew what happened and he shared his account of the situation. It answered my questions and uncovered the trauma and resolution surrounding my birth. I learned that my father knew I was not his son while I was still in my mother’s womb. My mother probably realized who the father was as soon as she knew that she was pregnant.

The Hard Road

Despite the emotional trauma caused, everyone involved came to do what was best. It was best that the two families involved stayed intact. They did. It was best for me to be raised as a Kiser. I was. It was best that everyone moved forward without succumbing to the feelings of betrayal, anger, and pride. They did.

There was one lingering problem. My parents apparently made the decision to never tell me the truth. At the time that was probably a good decision, but put my parents and others in the role of keeping a major secret from me. That would have repercussions for decades.

The Sleeping Monster

A major secret is a sleeping monster. It lies waiting. To avoid disturbing the secret, people work her or his life around it desperately hoping it never wakes up. It creates terror and fear in those who know and makes fools out of those who don’t.

In addition to my parents, many people knew the truth about my parentage. How it affected their behavior towards me I will never know. I do know that after I left home I saw the relationship other people had with their parents and I realized that there was something different about my relationship with my parents.

For most of my early childhood, my Dad was gone during the week, living ‘on-the-job.’ My mother rarely was involved with me or my school activities. I decided that she probably was burnt out after raising three other boys. That explanation probably accurate, but now I know that my relationship with my parents was built around a secret. Now I know they were walking around the sleeping monster all of my life. Now that monster is awake and I have to deal with it without them.

If you love your children, be honest with them.

Forget Stock Market & Bitcoin, Invest in Mendadent Toothpaste

12 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Branding, Business, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Generational, habits, Health, Lessons of Life, Marketing, Pride, Random

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Colgate, Crest, habits, investing, investment, Marketing, Mentadent, packaging, Sales, Selling, stock market, toothpaste

Those who like to invest in non-existent products might want to rethink his or her strategy considering last week’s mini-stock market crash…uhm, correction. The stock market single week 2,000 plus point losses and Bitcoins $6,000 plus single-month losses left investors with a lot less value in a very short time. Time to think toothpaste.

That’s correct, if a person wants to invest in something of increasing value, try toothpaste. Specifically, Mentadent toothpaste.

Only $89..99 for a two pack refill of Mentadent toothpaste!

Supply and Demand of Toothpaste

This price is real. Mentadent on Amazon.com is currently selling at $89.99/two pack refills. The reality is that this is the last of the line for Mentadent. They discontinued production of the toothpaste last year and now the last remaining packages are selling at a premium price.

Unfortunately, this price is probably the maximum price of Mentadent on the market. It has a limited shelf life and soon any remaining unsold product will be worthless after its expiration date has passed.

End of a Personal Era

I discovered this ‘investment’ when I was trying to order more for my personal use. When I met my spouse she was using Mentadent because she didn’t like half crumpled tubes of toothpaste sitting on the bathroom sink. I liked the taste of Mentadent and gave up the product I’d been using.

That was 23 years ago. My adoption of Mentadent was driven by my aversion squeeze tubes and to the limited choices on the market. I had always hated Colgate, and I had used Crest or Aim most of my life. The switch to Mentadent felt like ‘sticking it to the Man.’

It has been harder to find Mentadent in the last few years as some retail stores stopped stocking it, but somehow I always managed to locate a new source. Now I have reached the end the Mentadent rope. I have to switch toothpaste. Back to ugly and awkward squeeze tubes.

Damn.

[COUNT TO 500: 501st Article in PAULx]

500th WordPress PAULx Post: Milestone of Words

11 Sunday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Eclipse, Education, Ethics, Generational, Higher Education, Journalism, Lessons of Life, Milestone, Opinion, Random, Relationships, Respect, Rotary, Universities, Wordpress, Writing

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500, 500th article, 500th post, Communication, life, Relationships, wisdom, Wordpress, writing

I have reached a milestone of writing on this WordPress site. This is the 500th article! It has taken me eight years and a lot of typing. For this occasion, I’m writing 500 words and breaking it down into five topics of 100 words each.

Writing

Writing is a gift that is given to few people. For everyone else writing is learned. After writing 500 articles on this site, and many more words on other sites, I have improved, but I’m still barely a teenager when it comes to writing. Anyone can become a great writer, it just depends on how much you practice the art.

I am not a ravenous reader of books, but I am an admirer of plays. William Shakespeare is a hero of mine. At a time that writing was a rare talent, he became a legend. He created life by using words.

Life

I’m not sure we are meant to understand life. It would be like being given the answers before we take the test. I believe that our life is meant to teach us who we are and in the end, it comes down to a simple question: Did we avoid being deceivers?

It is easy to determine a person’s inner strength of character based on how honest he or she is to themselves and to others. Rotary’s Four-Way Test is a great guide for determining character. It’s not a matter of saying it. It’s a matter of doing it. Trump can’t.

Relationships

I believe life is about positive relationships. Time by yourself is necessary but most your life should be spent engaged with others. Interaction creates a balance. When we are alone we have no alternate view and that is dangerous. The human brain likes to create an idea and then make a cozy nest for that idea to be sheltered from opposing thoughts. That makes for weak thinking.

Relationships force us to expose our ideas to others which either reinforces or challenges them. That makes for a richer life and stronger and more balanced thinking. Negative relationships should be avoided.

Communication

Relationships are based on communication. Not necessarily by words. In fact, I believe the deepest communication occurs through intimacy. Words can be used to deceive and manipulate others. For some people, their primary use of words is to deceive. Intimacy is not easily faked.

When communication is used to express true thoughts and emotion it builds relationships. This doesn’t mean that everyone will accept or agree with those thoughts and emotions, but I believe we are meant to have relationships only with people who are accepting and honest with us. Communication binds us to some and disconnects us from others.

Wisdom

Who am I to talk about wisdom? I do not have a master’s degree, nor a doctorate in any field. I am not a shining example of what to do. I have no great mind that spews forth great thoughts. I am one micro entity in a universe that would not recognize me from a speck of dust.

I do have awareness. I have senses that interpret the world around me. I have life and that gives me experiences to reflect on. Perhaps wisdom is simply the ability to measure our own experiences and understand good outcomes from bad ones.

[COUNT TO 500: 500th Article in PAULx]

The Plantar Wart and HPV

03 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Health, Lessons of Life, Medicine, parenting, Relationships, Science, Women

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children, feet, foot, foot wart, HPV, human papillomavirus, Plantar wart, wart

When I was a teenager I had a plantar wart (or plantar’s wart) on my foot. My small town doctor (before the days of ‘General Practitioner’) burned it off with acid. I remember that it was painful, but I was at the age that any medical or dental procedure was painful. What I didn’t know was that a plantar wart is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV.) Yes, the same virus that we think about that has been attributed to incidents of genital cancers, including cervical cancer.

Plantar Wart caused by HPV

Plantar Wart Caused by HPV, But Not THAT HPV Strain

The good news is that a plantar wart is an infection that is usually considered to be minor and will often resolve with or without treatment. The bad news is that while the HPV vaccine (GARDASIL 9) is effective against nine different strains of genital-related warts, it is not effective against the strains of skin (cutaneous) warts, such as the plantar wart. The great news is that if the plantar wart is not the same strain as the HPV that causes genital warts.

Although a plantar wart can occur at any age, it tends to be a childhood foot issue. Ten percent of children have plantar warts and the most likely age to between 12 and 16. The virus is transmitted from skin surface to skin surface, but at least one source indicated that transmission from another surface, (e.g.; floor) is possible. It is believed that the virus enters the skin through a break in the surface of the skin, such as a cut or sliver.

Still, Vaccinate Against the Other HPV Strains!

Though the HPV vaccine is not effective against the Plantar Wart strain of HPV, it is critical that all children are vaccinated at the appropriate age (between ages 9 and 13) to reduce the risk of female and male genital cancers later in life. The vaccination must occur before the person becomes infected by the virus (i.e.; before she or he becomes sexually active.)

There is a clear link between the strains of HPV that affect the genital areas and cancer. In a study of over 1900 women with cervical cancer, 90% had the signature of the human papillomavirus. Cancer is not a gift you want to give to your children.

[COUNT TO 500: 492nd Article in PAULx]

Should You Become a Parent?

02 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, Communication, Generational, Lessons of Life, Opinion, parenting, Pride, Relationships, Respect, Women

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child abuse, children, daughter, deciding to have children, parenting, parents, son

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! …okay, that’s out of my system. The following is my opinion of whether a person should become a parent. I don’t have a degree in child development, nor do I work with children or parents in any capacity, other than being a parent and the routine contact with other parents. Not being qualified to talk about a topic, including parenting, has never stopped me before, so why would today be any different?

The Smith's and the Waskey's: Parents Extraordinaire

Parenting: Understanding who is in charge…(hint: it’s the one in front)

Being a parent is the most important, full-time job in the world. It has been around since…well, forever. There are people who are amazing parents and there are people who should never be allowed near children. Most of us fall in the grey area in the middle.

There are definitely people who should never become parents. It not a majority, but it is a significant number. It is unfortunate that there is not a test for parenting. The greatest crime in the history of the world is a parent that inflicts physic and/or emotional abuse on their son or daughter or neglects her or him.

You? A Parent?

As for the rest of the world, they are the people who should be or are parents. The question is whether or not YOU should be a parent. Here are my thoughts:

You Don’t Like Children?

You may not think that you should become a parent. It’s possible you are correct, but I know a lot of people who were absolutely convinced they didn’t want children, only to have their first child born and hit them a powerful dose of parent dust. Even if you don’t like children, perhaps you just don’t like other children. You never know until you have your own child.

You Will Get the Child You Deserve

I’ve seen this time and time again. A parent is fastidious and super-organized. She has a child that is messy and disorganized. A parent is an introvert. He has a son who is loud and bossy. It is part of the grand scheme. A child is, by design, your teacher and you will learn how to love the behaviors you hate, or you will die.

We spend our young adult lives figuring out who we are, what we like, and what we don’t like, only to have some pint-sized monomaniac systematically shred every value we thought we had. Being a good parent makes you a better person, even if you thought you already were.

Being a Parent is the Reason For Life

There are very few people who are known for their personal contributions to the world. Queen Elizabeth II, William Shakespeare, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, J. K. Rowling, are some examples. The rest of us will not be known for our great work but will be known by our children. If we are lucky we might have a descendent that accomplishes something outside of being a parent, but being a parent is the only accomplishment that a person can claim is unique to them.

You Will Fail, Fall Short, But Still Succeed

A good parent fails on a daily basis. I don’t know why, but that is a reality. A good parent can’t let these failures to change her or his enthusiasm for parenting. He or she will discover how insignificant these failures are after the child becomes an adult. I don’t know why. It’s a mystery.

Should You Be a Parent?

Becoming a parent changes your life. If a parent attempts to fight against the change a child makes in her or his life, they will be unhappy. A person who lives all his or her life without becoming a parent has either failed at life or found a substitute for parenting in their life. They may have had great adventures, become a teacher or a mentor, explored their creativity, dedicated themselves to an enterprise or organization, or followed some other path that defined his or her life.

But as a parent, your life becomes defined by the simple act of connecting your life to another with the intent of serving her or his needs until such time that they can do it on their own. After that, you get to watch and be amazed.

You should be a parent if you have the capacity to discover how important, and insignificant you are in the universe.

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Some Links To Consider

Are You Ready to be a Parent?

12 Things You Should Know About Becoming a Parent

Five Reasons We Become Parents

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Parent

Should I Be a Parent Quiz

In Defense of Parenting: They Can Be Amazing (If That’s What You Want)