[Related link, SEE:  PART 7 – May 2026]

Cassie-In-Charge

Summer brought little forward movement in the divorce action. Cassie, however, followed the behavior pattern I experienced throughout our marriage: making unilateral decisions without informing or consulting me. She also gave me prescriptive demands about our joint checking account. It was a Cassie-in-charge summer.

Our Joint Accounts

As it has been explained to me, once a divorce action has been made, neither spouse can make major changes to the material and financial resources of the marriage. Joint accounts must remain joint accounts, and the amount and flow of money are not to be significantly changed without the Court’s approval. I’ve also been told that if a household has one wage earner, the money earned is considered to be divided equally between the married couple.

My commitment to that was to rely on my Social Security savings in my personal accounts. Except for the reload on my Starbucks card, I made almost no other charges to our joint checking account, even after Cassie and her attorney barred me from returning home. My expenses increased dramatically, but I didn’t use the joint account to survive.

Spending Spree

In December, January, and February, Cassie spent over $23,000 out of our joint checking account. She moved some money from her personal IRA account to cover some of the spending; however, $13,000 of that spending drained most of our joint checking account.

The graph below shows Cassie’s monthly spending in dark blue, the deposits minus auto deductions (utility bills, subscriptions, etc.) in orange, and my spending in dark green. With a couple of exceptions, I did not spend any money from our joint checking for my Europe trip in December, nor after I left for my scouting trip in February.

Cassie stopped the direct deposit of her paycheck in April. She did deposit money to avoid the auto deductions from causing an overdraft. Still, her tactic effectively removed my access to our joint account without gaining approval of the Court.

The graph below shows our joint checking account daily balances. After I was told I couldn’t return home, Cassie aggressively cut off my access to our money.

Cassie’s spending included a $6,000 down payment on a sports car lease for our son, plus registration ($550+), plus the increased monthly costs for the lease ($500+), insurance ($350+), a $2,000 gift to her church, and a $7,500 retaining fee for her attorney.

Gutting the Savings Account

Besides transferring out $1,000 from our joint savings account in December, Cassie began transferring more money to the joint checking account to pay for established monthly payments that were no longer covered by her directly deposited paycheck. In May, June, and July, she drained over $2000 out of that account.

Running Up Debt

Cassie also followed her pattern of running up our debt in May, June, and July. During our marriage, she would load up credit cards with debt to pay for our vacations, trips, and various expenses. She would then only pay the minimum payment. Often her mother would reimburse her for many of the expenses, and she would deposit the checks, but not apply them to the credit card balance.

On a credit card that she opened in October 2025, Cassie ran the debt up to over $15,000. The balance on that card has doubled since January.

I do not like using credit cards that aren’t paid off as quickly as possible. I do not believe I have made a single credit card charge in over a year; rather, I have continued to use debit cards from my personal checking accounts.

Missing Mail

When I lost access to our home, I lost all access to my mail. Even though I told Cassie in March where she could forward my mail, she continued to hold it. Finally, in early June, she sent me 11 pieces of mail. Since then, she has not sent any more. Over 80 pieces of mail have come to our home for me since I left. Admittedly, most of those are junk mail; however, all my mail should have been forwarded to me.

Missing Personal Property

Cassie’s court filings have falsely claimed that I moved out all my possessions before I left in early February. This is probably an attempt to claim that all property in the house is, by default, hers. Both Cassie and her attorney know that the statements they made in those filings are untrue, since they were asking me in late February to return to pick up the rest of my belongings.

The End of Legal Representation

As Summer has wound down, so have my financial resources. In July, I had to let go of my attorney. It was not a choice I made lightly; however, I have now incurred over $10,000 in legal fees, and, if I continued my legal counsel, that amount would increase by an estimated $4,000 to $7,000 over the next few weeks.

 

NEXT: Divorce Without Mercy Part 9 – Epilogue

[NOTE:  This is a series focusing on my experiences during a divorce with a difficult person and her attorney. I am not a licensed psychologist nor an attorney. If you are dealing with a divorce situation, you should consult an attorney for legal advice and seriously consider seeking mental health support from a licensed counselor to deal with the trauma.]