[Related link, SEE:  PART 3 – January 2026]

The February Ambush

By the beginning of February, Cassie¹ and I hadn’t engaged in any substantive discussion regarding the division of our combined assets. It had been sixty days since she had agreed to the divorce, but she was still stalling. After she consulted an attorney, she ignored the division of assets issue and skipped to suggesting that I consider moving out. I didn’t understand the significance of the topic she wanted to discuss. She and her attorney were setting me up for a February ambush.

The Trip Trap

I wanted to move forward with my life, and while I was waiting for my spouse to stop roadblocking me on dividing up our assets, I found a job opportunity in Fayetteville, Arkansas. It felt like a good opportunity, so I applied. They contacted me and offered me a phone interview. After Cassie’s discussion about moving out, I thought maybe it was time to do a scouting trip to some cities in the southeast. I didn’t know anyone in the region, but a warmer climate and lower altitude met two of my criteria for places to live. I informed Cassie of my plan.

I’m planning on leaving here on Sunday. I’m going to go south and east, um, and look at a few cities …Fayetteville, Arkansas. And that’s my first city that I’m looking at is Fayetteville. And then depending on what I see and, and everything, I’m maybe driv-driving to Raleigh, North Carolina.

Paul Kiser – 5 February 2026

I asked Cassie to meet with me to discuss the division of assets before I left. She agreed, but she made it clear that she would not accept any proposal at that meeting. This time it was clear to me she was establishing another roadblock. She would listen to the proposal, but she was already setting up her rejection of it.

We met on a Friday afternoon at a Starbucks. I presented my proposal that left her with 83% of our combined assets. As expected, she rejected it, and she made no counteroffers.

We both went home, and I prepared for my scouting trip. I left late the next day, again to avoid an incoming storm. I arrived in Fayetteville on Monday. On Tuesday evening, I discovered that Cassie had contacted the attorney again early on Monday. I texted her and asked her if she had retained the attorney, and she said yes.

The Real Agenda

I didn’t realize her plan until later. The suggestion that I could move out, my trip, and retaining the attorney were not coincidences. Once I was out of the house, even if it were for a temporary period, Cassie did exactly what I was concerned she might do when preparing for the divorce: she used her authority as sole-named owner to lock me out.

I asked her how to contact her attorney. It was then I learned that her attorney had lived down the street from Cassie’s family for decades. The attorney had taken some acting classes with us in middle school, but I hadn’t seen her for over 25 years. As a family friend, Cassie’s attorney was taking this divorce personally.

The Email

My lockout was confirmed later when I wrote the attorney, telling her I had finished my trip and planned to return home. Her response was as follows.

We understand you will be returning to Reno soon. Given the inherently difficult circumstances of an impending divorce, it is not feasible for you to reside at Cassie’s house upon your return. Living together is likely to escalate conflict rather than permit you both to consider matters calmly and with some level of detachment. Generally speaking, people going through a divorce do not reside together as they go through the process.  You and Cassie require your own space and privacy as you navigate the issues of divorce, and I’m sure you share the goal of having little to no conflict during this process.

Email Part 2

As you and Cassie discussed before you left for your travels, she has been working on dividing the household goods. She has packed multiple boxes for you. Additionally, she has photographed and kept an inventory of everything. If there are additional or different items you wish to take, adjustments can certainly be made to the proposed allocations.

The Email Part 3

Please advise of your anticipated date of return to the Reno area.  Upon your return, we can communicate to coordinate a mutually agreed-upon date and time for you to come to the house to remove the boxes of your items.

Spouse’s Attorney – 25 February 2026

Caught in the Trap

This response did seven things:

1. It prevented me from returning to our marital home.
2. It dramatically increased my living expenses as I had packed to be gone for a couple of weeks. I had nothing with me to establish a new living space.
3. Cassie ended up with the house and all the household goods; thus she had no increase in expenses. There would be no negotiations or Court oversight of the division of material goods.
4. If I attempted to return home, Cassie could call the police, and they would order me to leave, cite it as a civil matter, and I would have to pursue it in court.
5. If I attempted to return home, Cassie could use the incident to file for a Restraining Order against me.
6. It gave Cassie complete authority to determine what I could have, if anything. I had not given her the authority to decide for me. That was a lie.
7. It allowed Cassie to claim I had abandoned the house after I had been gone 30 days, and therefore, my ownership would be forfeited.

I concluded that returning to the house, even if it was scheduled, would be an opportunity for Cassie or her brother, who is not a hunter, but has a fascination with guns, to initiate a conflict to justify seeking a restraining order.  I quickly dismissed the idea of returning to the house under any circumstances.

Regardless, I was in North Carolina, living in cheap hotels, with no place for me to move into, even if I had furniture and household goods. Cassie and her attorney fully understood my situation. I was homeless, without a job, and with expenses that would drain my Social Security savings within weeks if I didn’t take drastic action.

At this point, no divorce had been filed; however, the attorney was acting as if it had. In March, I would discover that the lockout was just the first step. Cassie’s attorney had a plan to run me out of money, assassinate my character, and lie about my situation.

¹Some names have been changed.

NEXT: Divorce Without Mercy Part 5 – March 2026

[NOTE:  This is a series focusing on my experiences during a divorce with a difficult person and her attorney. I am not a licensed psychologist nor an attorney. If you are dealing with a divorce situation, you should consult an attorney for legal advice and seriously consider seeking mental health support from a licensed counselor to deal with the trauma.]