Tag Archives: Karl Rove

Rove and Limbaugh Twins

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in April Fools Day, Fiction, Politics, Relationships, Women

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Image credit KEVIN CIRILLI/Politico

Rush Limbaugh – TWIN?

BREAKING NEWS — Los Angeles, California, April 1, 2014

Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh held a joint news conference today to announce that they recently discovered that they have the same mother, and they are, in fact, twins. Limbaugh said,

“I’ve always known there was a special relationship between us because every time I see him I just want to kiss him.”

Image by TIM MAK/Politico

Karl Rove -TWIN?

Rove explained that he was born on Christmas Day, 1950, in Denver, Colorado, but that after he was born his mother gave him up and moved to Missouri. She continued to have contractions, but she thought that was just post pregnancy cramping . Less than three weeks later she was hospitalized for severe pain and Rush Limbaugh was born on January 12, 1951.

Both Rove and Limbaugh were giddy during the news conference and said they were considering buying neighboring houses in Costa Rica.

And This Was the Best Conservatives Could Offer?

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Business, Ethics, Government, Opinion, Politics, Public Relations, Religion, Respect, Taxes, Women

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Mr. Insincere

For President – Eddie Haskell?
Willard Mitt Romney is a poor choice for President by any standard. Sure he’s better that Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, or almost any of the other right-wing wackos that ran for President this time, but Romney is an embarrassment to America. He will say anything to get a vote, but we all know that is just a rich man who is trying to fool enough of the people enough of the time to get elected. In a party that has great people like Colin Powell, they serve up a smarmy equivalent of Leave It To Beaver’s Eddie Haskell for President. Epic fail.

Paul Ryan is not an alien from another world…as far as we know.

For Vice President – Paul Ryan?
Really? Ryan is a person who is a deceiver. If Satan had Apostles, Paul Ryan would be his Number 1. He, like so many conservatives, is owned and operated by America’s major corporations and his interest is in exploiting our country, not serving. 

Charles P. Pierce  wrote and interesting piece on Ryan’s family history on the Esquire Politics Blog. He definitely not worthy of the second highest office in the land…or any other office.

Senator Dean Heller making sure he’s seen at Reno Air Races crash news conference (2011)

For Senate from Nevada – Dean Heller?
When Governor Brian Sandoval appointed Dean Heller to replace the adulterous Senator John Ensign, his seat in the House of Representatives forced the cash-strapped state to hold a special election, which cost over $1 million. Nevada certainly hasn’t got its money’s worth. One of Heller’s first official acts was to propose legislation that would prevent millionaires from receiving food stamps. He must have done it as a joke, but nobody laughed.

Heller is a former Bank of America consultant and stock broker, but now he works for people with even more money. If politicians had to wear suits that identified all their sponsors like race car drivers, then he would have a suit covered in oil, mining, and gaming corporations. He is bought and paid for and the lowly citizens of Nevada are not even on his radar.

Heller is the guy who always shows up at major news events like the Reno Air Races crash last year to stand near the Governor as if to say, “see me, I’m here, aren’t I great!”

Richard Mourdock says the pregnancy from rape is what “…God intended..”

For Senate from Indiana – Richard Mourdock and for the House of Representatives from Missouri – Todd Akin?
Indiana and Missouri have many highly qualified conservatives that could be representing the Republican party as candidates for federal office; however, it would be difficult to find two less deserving to fill the job than Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin. Both seem to be weeds in the flower patch and yet both still may win despite their bumbling, non-factual statements about rape and pregnancy. If either or both win then the stupid people of the world can rejoice that they are well represented in the United States Congress.

2012 Idiots on Parade by Karl Rove
The lack of quality conservative candidates doesn’t stop at federal political office. Many Republican state candidates are embarrassments to the country in their own right, but why is the GOP field so bad? That brings us to one name, Karl Rove. 

Rove’s laughing now.

Karl Rove is the God of Conservative Candidates. He decides who will gain millions of dollars in advertising support and who won’t. With that money comes the strings. Independent minded, critical thinking people is not what Karl Rove seeks. If you are going to be supported by the Republican party this year, you have to be Karl Rove’s political Boy Toy. Rove’s money comes from Big Oil and mega corporations and they expect payback.

That has led to a slate of corporate Yes Men who are supposed to stay within a script. Like a gang of henchmen, Rove’s army of zombies march across the nation with a brain eating agenda of kill the government, put women down, and give our money to the rich. Rove arms his candidates with some of the most distasteful tactics in politics today.  

One of Rove’s typical tactics of taking the conservative candidate’s weaknesses and then running ads accusing the rival candidate of the conservative candidates weakness. If his candidate is a partisan obstructionist, then Rove’s team creates an ad that the Democratic candidate is partisan and only votes with their party. Blaming the faults of his candidate on the other confuses the issue and makes a response to the accusation almost impossible.

How long can Rove keep this up? It depends on the results of this election. If Rove’s candidates win then America can expect to see the same strategy in future elections. If his candidates lose then perhaps true conservatives can take their party back from Karl Rove and his corporate sponsors and re-build it into something more than a group of Tea Party zombies.

Conservatives Casting Themselves in WWII Sitcom?

01 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by in Ethics, Government, Politics, Public Relations

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Mitt Romney as the 'I-do-what-i'm-told' Schultz and John Boehner as the bumbling Colonel Klink

The more I listen to the public statements of the top Conservatives, the more I’m convinced that they are trying to play out the roles of the German soldiers in the late 60’s/early 70’s sitcom Hogan’s Heroes.

House Speaker John Boehner rants on as if he’s in charge of everything just like Colonel Wilhelm Klink who was the figurehead of his command.

Mitt Romney could also be cast as Colonel Klink, but he would be more appropriate for the role of Sargent Schultz who knows “nothing” and sees “nothing” even thought reality is staring him in the face.

Karl Rove even looks like General Burkhalter

In contacts, a WWII German officers cap and uniform, Rove could be General Burkhalter

Another key player in this political year sitcom is Karl Rove, who acts as General Burkhalter as he rarely gets his hands dirty with the details, but seems to have the power to make idiots more idiotic as he pushes absurd plans of conquest onto Colonel Klink and his underlings.

A typical script for their recasting:

(Colonel Klink and Sargent Schultz are in the Colonel’s office.)

Schultz: (Romney speaking with a bad German accent): Colonel, I know I’m not supposed to understand anything, but it does seem that the prisoners are not taking us seriously anymore.

Klink:  (Boehner speaking with no accent at all)  Schultz! How dare you question the authority of your superiors!

Schultz:  Yes sir! I-I-I mean NO sir…I mean I was only trying to say….

Klink:  Oh, shut up Schultz. Unfortunately, I believe you are correct. We tell the Americans…uhm, the prisoners what they are supposed to think and they go off and think whatever they want to. They seem to believe facts now rather than what we tell them.

Schultz:  I know what you mean, sir. I tell them women are unimportant and they don’t believe me. I tell them it’s the economy and they seem to know it was our policies that caused the problems. I tell them the rich are job creators and they want to know why they are not creating jobs now that they are richer than ever…

Klink:  Yes, yes, Schultz, I am perfectly aware of what the prisoners think of us.

(Enter Karl Rove as General Burkhalter speaking in a nasal bad German accent.)

Burkhalter:  KLINK! Is this all you do is stand around and talk all day! Tell me you have something better to be doing!

Klink:  No Sir! ….I mean YES, sir…I mean…Sargent Schultz, tell him what I mean….

Schultz:  Ya Voldt, Herr Commandant! What the Colonel means to say–

Burkhalter:  Oh, shut up Schultz!

Schultz:  Ya Voldt, GenER-al Burkhalter, SIR!

Burkhalter:  Klink, we have a problem with the prisoners.

Schultz:  The Colonel and I were just–

Klink:  Shut up, Schultz! …uhm, you heard the General…now, what were you saying?

Burkhalter:  I said, we have a problem with the prisoners.

Klink:  And which problem do we have with the prisoners, General?

Burkhalter:  They don’t believe us anymore!

Klink:  Exactly! We were just saying that the prisoners don’t believe us anymore! The Americans think we don’t know what the issues are and they know we caused many of the problems. They’re blaming us!

Burkhalter:  And what was your plan to take care of this, Klink?

Klink:  I…we…wanted to hear your opinion before we took any action, General Rove…I mean Burkhalter.

Burkhalter:  The solution is so easy I’m amazed you didn’t come up with it on your own.

Klink:  Well, we didn’t want to take credit for the General’s ideas…WHICH we knew you would eventually tell us. So what is the plan that we came up with before you told us?

Burkhalter:  Klink, it is simple. When they say something is our fault we blame them!

Klink:  We blame them?

Schultz:  Excuse me, General, won’t they know we were to blame?

Burkhalter:  The Americans are stupid.

Klink:  So when they say we turned a blind eye to corrupt banking practices, and sent billions of dollars overseas to fight two unnecessary wars led to the economic collapse of the nation?

Burkhalter:  We didn’t do it. It was the policies of the past three years, not the incompetence of the previous eight years.

Schultz:  The economy is getting better?

Burkhalter:  It’s their fault it’s not getting better faster.

Klink:  Our abuse of women and ignorance of their issues?

Schultz: They created the issue, we love women!

Burkhalter:  …women in their place, of course, but you’re getting the idea.

Klink:  General, you always know what’s best!

Schultz:  That is why he is the General and you are….uhm.

Klink:  Schultz….!

Burkhalter:  I must be going, by the way, I’m taking your Secretary into town to visit a sick brother. She will be back tomorrow.

Klink:  Of course, General Burkhalter. Please let her know that if there is anything we can do….

Burkhalter:  No Klink. I will have everything in hand. Goodbye! (Burkhalter leaves)

Schultz:  That is strange, Herr Commandant.

Klink:  What’s that Schultz?

Schultz:  Your secretary was just telling me she is an only child.

(Cue music.)