3rd From Sol

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Tag Archives: Apple

A Conversation With An Applette

14 Thursday Sep 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Branding, Business, Communication, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Information Technology, Internet, Public Image, Public Relations, Technology

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Tags

Android, Apple, Applette, cell phone, fad, Hype, iOS, iPhone, iPhone X, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy Edge, Smartphone

My iPho….I mean my Samsung Galaxy Edge Phone

Applette:    WOW! The new iPhone came out! I’ve got to get me one! Have you heard about it?

Me: A vague reference somewhere.

Applette:  They call it the iPhone X.

Me:  X for…?

Applette:  Most Excellent!

Me:  X is NOT always a ‘good’ reference.

Applette:  What do you mean?

Me:  Ex-con, Ex-spouse, expensive.

Applette:  No dude, this phone does everything!

Me:  Exfoliate! Does it exfoliate?

Applette:  What? What’s ex-foal-ate?

Me:  Nevermind.

Applette:  Here’s a picture of it! Look at that screen! It goes from edge to edge!

Me:  Oh, like this.

Applette:  WOW! You already own one!

Me:  No, this is a Samsung Galaxy Edge. I’ve had it for over a year.

Applette:  Samsung copied the iPhone! Those bastards!

Me:  No…the Edge…nevermind.

Applette:  It doesn’t matter. This iPhone is sooo much better than the copy cat Galaxy phone! It has facial recognition!

Me:  So does my dog.

Applette:  Yes, but can you make a call on your dog? HA!

Me:  No. I call my dog and she comes to me.

Applette:  Well,…wait…what?

Me:  Nevermind.

Applette:  I’ll bet your dog doesn’t have Siri!

Me:  Hey Google, what is Siri?

Google:  According to Webopedia, Siri is a built-in “intelligent assistant” that enables users of Apple iPhone 4S and later and newer iPad and iPod Touch devices to speak natural language voice commands in order to operate the mobile device and its apps.

Me:  So Siri is Apple’s version of HAL.

Applette:  Yeah!…who’s HAL?

Me:  Nevermind.

Applette:  The iPhone is reliable. Your Samsung is going to catch on fire someday!

Me:  Well, that was the Samsung Galaxy Note Pad, but I prefer to think that if I’m lost in the woods in the winter and I have no cell service, I can light a signal fire with my phone. My phone can save my life, can yours?

Applette:  Well, it…I…you can’t…

Me:  Nevermind.

Applette:  You wait. Apple is going to dominate the phone market with the iPhone X.

Me:  You think that people are going to pay more to learn a new phone system?

Applette:  If it’s an iPhone they will.

Me:  But Apple’s name is synonymous with incompatibility. They have products that aren’t even incompatible with other Apple products.

Applette:  Man, you’ve got to prioritize. Do you want to be cool, or do you want to get things done?

Me:  I want to get things done.

Applette:  And THAT is why you don’t have an iPhone, man.

Me:  Well, that and paying a lot more for something that isn’t.

Applette:  Well, iPhones cost more, but they have Siri and they have facial recognition, Dude. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Me:  Actually, it does, but nevermind.

Thank you Apple!

08 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Paul Kiser in Business, Communication, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Ethics, Information Technology, Management Practices, Opinion, Public Image, Public Relations, Technology

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Tags

account, Amazon, Apple, Google, Google Play, iPhone, iPod, iTunes, Kindle Fire, Music, music library, password, scam, security, security questions

Apple's end product without iTunes, a useless piece of technology

Apple’s end product without iTunes, a useless piece of technology

Recently I was freed of my Apple conflict. Thanks to Apple’s security policy regarding my iTunes account, I no longer use it for buying music.

Like most people I have always used a PC. Apple computers were interesting, but I was always leery of the Apple agenda. I did have iTunes and an iPod and purchased songs through iTunes for most of my musical entertainment.

A few years ago I was given a Kindle Fire for Christmas and I began buying some music from Amazon, but then I had a split music library. One with iTunes. One with Amazon. Fortunately, I quickly discovered that my Kindle Fire couldn’t handle storing my songs, apps, and movies in the Kindle, so that ended my brief affair with Amazon music.

Then last year I was introduced to Google Play. I found that with their service I could play all the songs from my computer on my Android phone. Still, a question remained about the iTunes service I’ve used since I transcended from CD’s to digital.

In this past year, Apple made the decision for me. Apple has created a password security process that is complex and leads the customer to being locked out of his or her iTunes library with no recourse but to start a new iTunes account.

Here’s the way the scam works. During a purchase of an iTunes product, Apple forces the customer into a convoluted process that requires her or him to change their iTunes password and answer a limited choice of possible questions about the customer’s childhood memories. For several months after the customer has been forced to go through the new password procedure Apple allows him or her to make purchases from iTunes without giving the new password. The customer has no cause to recall the password until sufficient time has passed to make the customer forget the new password

However, after six months or so, Apple will spring the trap and make the customer give the complicated password before a purchase. Upon failing to give the correct password, Apple then requires the customer answer the questions about their childhood memories, which are so lame that most people won’t remember the answers.

So, then you contact Apple and get help, right?

Contacting Apple’s “Support” is where you find out how deep the password rabbit hole goes. They will ask for your password. You already tried that and they will, surprise, surprise, also find you don’t know it. They will ask for the answers to the childhood questions. You still don’t know the answers. After that they will ask you for the original credit card number with which you set up your account  iTunes account. When you can’t produce that number, they will ask for the serial number of the first Apple product you owned. In my case, this is the 1st generation iPod that was recalled several years ago.

R.I.P. iPod

R.I.P. iPod

That’s it. Because you can’t answer any of their ridiculous questions they will tell you they can’t do anything more for you. You must set up a new iTunes account and the past digital downloads  must be repurchased.

So now I must thank Apple. I no longer have a conflict with my digital music libraries. Google Play is the best choice and I won’t be purchasing anything from iTunes.

I suppose that someone will file a class action lawsuit with Apple in a few years. Apple emails will probably reveal their strategy to make customers repurchase their digital libraries and a settlement of a few dollars per customer will be made while the attorneys make millions of dollars.

In the meantime, I will listen to ALL my songs I purchased through Google Play. 

Chinese Men Givien iPads to Control Birthrate

01 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by Paul Kiser in April Fools Day, Fiction, Generational, Government, Government Regulation, Health, Information Technology, Internet, Politics, Recreation, Relationships, Social Media Relations, Women

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Apple, birthrate, China, iPad, men, sex, sexual relationships

April 1, 2013 – Beijing, China

iPad in China: Better than sex?

iPad in China: Better than sex?

It was revealed today that the Chinese government struck a deal with Apple to purchase significant quantities of iPads as part of a program to control the birthrate. Unofficial Chinese sources say that they have found that a male with an iPad spends 48% less time engaged in relationship-related activity including coitus.

“The iPad is the ultimate lover as it offers constant attention and requires very little in return,” according to one government source. China expects to reduce the birthrate by 25% or more through the alternative-stimulus program. 

Apple had no public comment on the use of iPads to inhibit sexual intercourse; however, privately a reliable source did say that since iPad was launched in April 2010, the city of Cupertino, California, where Apple is headquartered, has seen no growth in population.

No one offered a direct cause for why the iPad might have an affect in inhibiting sexual activity, but one woman we asked said, “Are you just stupid, or what?”

Apple says it doesn’t expect any shortages of iPads despite the massive purchase; however, they don’t know when any more iPad will be delivered to the United States.

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