Applette: WOW! The new iPhone came out! I’ve got to get me one! Have you heard about it?
Me: A vague reference somewhere.
Applette: They call it the iPhone X.
Me: X for…?
Applette: Most Excellent!
Me: X is NOT always a ‘good’ reference.
Applette: What do you mean?
Me: Ex-con, Ex-spouse, expensive.
Applette: No dude, this phone does everything!
Me: Exfoliate! Does it exfoliate?
Applette: What? What’s ex-foal-ate?
Applette: Here’s a picture of it! Look at that screen! It goes from edge to edge!
Me: Oh, like this.
Applette: WOW! You already own one!
Me: No, this is a Samsung Galaxy Edge. I’ve had it for over a year.
Applette: Samsung copied the iPhone! Those bastards!
Me: No…the Edge…nevermind.
Applette: It doesn’t matter. This iPhone is sooo much better than the copy cat Galaxy phone! It has facial recognition!
Me: So does my dog.
Applette: Yes, but can you make a call on your dog? HA!
Me: No. I call my dog and she comes to me.
Applette: I’ll bet your dog doesn’t have Siri!
Me: Hey Google, what is Siri?
Google: According to Webopedia, Siri is a built-in “intelligent assistant” that enables users of Apple iPhone 4S and later and newer iPad and iPod Touch devices to speak natural language voice commands in order to operate the mobile device and its apps.
Me: So Siri is Apple’s version of HAL.
Applette: Yeah!…who’s HAL?
Applette: The iPhone is reliable. Your Samsung is going to catch on fire someday!
Me: Well, that was the Samsung Galaxy Note Pad, but I prefer to think that if I’m lost in the woods in the winter and I have no cell service, I can light a signal fire with my phone. My phone can save my life, can yours?
Applette: Well, it…I…you can’t…
Applette: You wait. Apple is going to dominate the phone market with the iPhone X.
Me: You think that people are going to pay more to learn a new phone system?
Applette: If it’s an iPhone they will.
Me: But Apple’s name is synonymous with incompatibility. They have products that aren’t even incompatible with other Apple products.
Applette: Man, you’ve got to prioritize. Do you want to be cool, or do you want to get things done?
Me: I want to get things done.
Applette: And THAT is why you don’t have an iPhone, man.
Me: Well, that and paying a lot more for something that isn’t.
Applette: Well, iPhones cost more, but they have Siri and they have facial recognition, Dude. It doesn’t get any better than that!
Me: Actually, it does, but nevermind.