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DNA Shock +5 Years: What I Know & Lessons Learned

23 Sunday Jan 2022

Posted by Paul Kiser in Colorado, Ethics, Family, genealogy, Honor, Lessons of Life, Life, Mental Health, parenting, Small town

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Ancestry.com, Barrick, DNA, DNA testing, Family, family history, Frances Barrick, genealogy, Kiser, Vernon Kiser

Five years ago today I was in a condo on a beach in Panama. I was on an adventure and life was great. It was my seventh and final trip to that country in less than three years. I was enjoying the warm tropical air and didn’t know I was about to have a DNA shock that would transform my life by events that happened 59 years earlier. On the 23rd of January 2017, I received an email regarding a DNA match on Ancestry.com. In checking the match I realized that this was more than finding a new cousin. This match would prove that I had a different father than the man who raised me.

Sunset in Panama on 23 January 2017. When I took this image of the setting Sun, I had just learned that I wasn’t a Kiser by blood.

The news did not impact me immediately. It took me about an hour to understand what the DNA results meant, days to realize that I had no blood connection to my last name, months to realize that my birth certificate was wrong, and years to learn who knew and when they knew.

Everyone involved in this affair has passed away. Firsthand accounts are not possible, but I have pieced together enough information to understand how this situation played out.

The Trauma of My Conception and the Resolution at Birth 

In 1957, Vernon Kiser was 37 years old and had married Frances Barrick seventeen years earlier. He had worked in a coal mine, worked on road maintenance, and even started his own small construction company with a dozer he owned. At some time around 1957, he had given up his company and began work for another small town construction company.

Frances became pregnant in the Spring of that year. According to the account of a witness, after Vernon learned of her pregnancy, he became distraught and even moved out of his house for a week or so. He knew he was not the biological father and that the real father was his boss. Everything would appear to be heading to a life-altering crisis for all involved.

However, months later, I was born. Vernon Kiser officially claimed to be my Dad on my birth certificate and he continued to work for his boss, my biological Father. Among the evidence of the reconciliation is a picture of me sitting on my biological Father’s lap when I was about seven months old. This picture was most likely taken by my Dad as he had the only camera in our family. All of this indicates that a reconciliation had been in the best interest of everyone involved.

Me sitting on my biological Father’s lap. July 1958

DNA Shock and the Aftershock 

In 2017, the DNA news was a shock, but it was also transformative. Aspects of my life and my relationship with my parents that didn’t make sense suddenly were in a new light. Despite the resolution after my birth, I believe the trauma of the event rippled through my childhood.

I was the fourth and final child born to Frances. My birthplace, Craig, was and still is a small town located in the sagebrush of northwestern Colorado’s high desert. As I grew up I had friends but none that ever lasted for more than a few years. I was a loner most of the time probably because my interests were rarely the same as most other kids my age.

The Kiser family sans me. I would have been an infant when this picture was taken.

I was the ‘Caboose Child’ of my family and I was four years younger than my next oldest brother. By the time I was in Kindergarten, my oldest brother was heading off to Vietnam, the next oldest was in high school, and my closest brother was in four years ahead of me in elementary school.

Parenting Style: Apathy or Shame?

My parents were…parents. Vernon worked all the time and Frances kept the household functioning. It wasn’t a child-centered family. I did my homework and I had a few chores, but mostly I was left to do what I wanted to do.

I eventually noticed that while my parents always attended the sports events of all three of my older brothers and the plays of my next older brother, they rarely showed support of my school activities in public.  

After I left for college, I realized that my upbringing was slightly different than many other people my age. Others had parents that were strongly connected to their children whereas my parents had been largely uninvolved. For example, some parents were enthusiastic to have their children go to college. My parents didn’t stop me from going to college but they were apathetic about it. My mother did provide some money for college but I was expected to pay my own way.

I had no other models of parents to really compare my Mom and Dad to, but over time I began to question their parenting style.

College Days. First independence.

I was frustrated at times over what I considered a lack of interest, but I finally decided that they must have been tired of being a parent by the time I came along. My mother had raised children for twelve years before I was born. By the time I graduated from high school, she had been a parent for thirty years. When I did the math, it all made sense.

Small Town Gossip

What I hadn’t considered was the possible impact of shame and embarrassment in a small town where gossip is a natural part of life. It is now apparent that many people were aware of the circumstances of my conception. Whether that shame and embarrassment became a factor in my parent’s public support of me is impossible to know. Again, I was the last child of four in the family so simple parent fatigue could be the main factor in their parenting style.

Within months after I left for college, my Dad abruptly took a demotion from a senior position at the Moffat County Road Department to live in a remote location outside of Craig. At the time, I assumed that they had a secret longing to go back to country-style living; however, now I wonder. Did my departure from their daily lives give them permission to get away from the gossip of the small town? No one will ever know the truth.  

Seeing the Bigger Picture

There are many questions that I have about my childhood, but what is significant is that I now can respect the trauma they likely endured. The irony is that they made a major sacrifice in order to do what was best for everyone involved. I don’t know how I would have reacted if I had known the truth while my parents were still alive, but I would like to think I could have appreciated my Dad’s decision to raise me as his own.

My biological Father died in a dozer rollover accident when I was a small child. It would be interesting to know how my life might have been different if he had still been around as I grew up. Once again, no one will ever know the answer.

The past five years have allowed me to reexamine my life with the knowledge of how it began. Some of my revelations have been humorous. For example, my mother kept insisting that I must have Native American (she said, Indian) blood. She maintained that my paternal grandfather was half to three-quarters Native American. He was not. In addition, my Dad was blonde-haired and blue-eyed. It was an absurd idea. Now I know that she was attempting to throw me off the trail of my true family history by feeding me false information.

The Things That I Now Understand

  1. My parents were trying to ‘save’ or ‘protect’ me by keeping the truth from me. They were also trying to protect themselves.
  2. My parents believed that I would never know the truth.
  3. It was a time and place when the truth would have been devastating to both families.
  4. It was an affair, a small town, and it happened over 60 years ago. No one needs to be ashamed or needs to try to explain why it happened.
  5. The longer I wasn’t told the truth, the harder it became to do so.

After the DNA Shock: The Lessons

  1. The measure of a person is not what happens to him or her, but by how he or she responds to the situation.
  2. All relationships must be grounded in BOTH respect and love. Love doesn’t exist without respect as the foundation.
  3. Blood is less important than the heart but blood is not unimportant. Knowing your true ancestors is part of your history. The future remains to be created.
  4. A surname and a birth certificate shouldn’t be what identifies you as a person.
  5. Knowing a secret that impacts another person but not sharing that knowledge with that person defines your relationship or lack of it with that person.

[SEE:  Familius Inturruptus to read the article I wrote a week after I learned of the DNA match.]

My Four Fathers

16 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, Communication, Ethics, genealogy, Generational, Management Practices, parenting, Pride, Public Image, Relationships, Respect, Women

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Barrick, Colorado, Craig, Depue, Family, family history, Henderson, Kiser, siblings, son, Vernon Kiser, Waner

(To understand the background of this story see, Familius Interruptus, the explanation of how I learned through a DNA test that my father was not my father, and that my mother had an affair with another man known to our family.)

I had four fathers. Two of my fathers were real, tangible people. Both were good men and both were good fathers. One of my fathers was my biological father. I knew of him, and people have told me about him, but I never really knew him. He died when I was five years old.

One of my fathers was my man listed on my birth certificate. He was the man I always knew to be my Dad. He raised me and until a few months ago, I was led to believe he was my real father.

But I have two other fathers. They are the two men who I never got to know. They are ghosts of my past. They are the relationships I should have had with both my biological father, and my Dad, but were kept from me in a shroud of secrecy, rumors, and shame.

My Biological Father
My knowledge of my biological father is limited. He was a business owner in Craig, a small northwestern Colorado town. Based on everything I can gather, he was an amazing entrepreneur, creating and maintaining a business in a market that was too small, and too poor for the quality and experience his company offered.

My biological father

I have never heard anyone speak a negative word about my real father. His tragic death when I was only five, kept me from having any kind of relationship with him, and the shroud of secrecy that was maintained prevented me from interacting with the people who really knew him. 

It is ironic and poetic that it is the next generation of my biological family that reached out to me after a DNA test proved the link between myself and their family. It was their actions that brought clarity and truth to my family history, and I am grateful.

I regret not knowing my real father and being able to know him as my father. I also am saddened to think of his sons and their mother. His death occurred when his sons were young adults. From what I know of my real father, he would have been proud of who they became, and of their achievements with their families, their work, and their church. My lack of a relationship with my real father pales in comparison to their loss.

My Dad
The man who raised me worked hard all his life. He was often up on Mondays before five in the morning and on the road to the job site, over an hour away. He often stayed at the job site during the week, living out of a camping trailer. He operated heavy equipment, and as a child the words, Cat, Maintainer, and Scraper described the three types of heavy equipment that my father used to build roads and reservoirs.

My Dad, and my Mother

I was the youngest of four sons to my Dad. I remember going with my family to see my oldest brother play high school basketball, my next oldest brother play high school football, but I don’t remember my Dad going see my next to youngest brother in plays, nor do I remember him coming to any of my school events. I suspect that when I was a child, my Dad was at the job site when our events were happening.

If my Dad knew, or suspected that I was not his son, I was not aware of it. I have indications that my mother and he had a strange marriage, but as a child, I had nothing to compare their relationship with, nor did I have any reference to compare my relationship with my parents. In hindsight, I knew I was not the child that my parents beamed with pride over, but I attributed it to being the last of four boys.

The Kiser brothers and me (on left)

My mother posted an October 1968, Erma Bombeck column on our family scrapboard about the Caboose Child that was ‘planned about as well as a headache.’ At the time, I had no idea that my mother was probably well aware of who my real father was, but I didn’t understand the statement she was probably making when she posted this single article on the scrapboard.

I suspect my father also knew, and that is part of the story that is amazing and tragic. Most people would shun the bastard child, but to my knowledge, he didn’t. Our relationship wasn’t close, but he could have justifiably shunned me, and he didn’t.

That is the Dad I didn’t get to know. The man who probably knew I was not his child, but raised me anyway. Regardless of what happened one day in March of 1957, he chose to be my Dad. I wish that before his death, I could have expressed my appreciation for living with the knowledge that few men would have had the character to move beyond.

My Dad wasn’t a perfect father, but he was a father to me, when he could have rejected me. I had a relationship with my Dad that I knew, and I wish I could have had a relationship with the part of my Dad who had to deal with the reality that I was as a son of another man.

I am too late, but I want to express gratitude to my fathers, and wish them a belated Happy Father’s Day.

Moffat County, Colorado: Story of Two Families (Part III-Another Radiator Springs)

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, College, Education, Generational, Government, History, Lessons of Life, The Tipping Point, Travel, US History

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Barrick, Colorado, Colorado Street, Craig, Family, Frances Barrick, genealogy, Kiser, Maybell, Mike Kiser, Vernon Kiser

1940’s-Kiser/Barrick Merger
By 1939, both the Barrick and Kiser family had established themselves in Moffat County. The original two families had lived in northwestern Colorado for over two decades and the children born there were now old enough to start their own families. Vernon, the oldest son of the Kiser family and Frances, the eldest daughter of the Barrick family married on October 29, 1939. Both were first generation natives of Moffat County.

Vernon and Frances Kiser

Vernon and Frances Kiser

To support themselves, Vernon took jobs wherever he could in the 1940’s. He and Frances moved several times around northwestern Colorado to be where the work took them. World War II had little impact on Vernon and Frances as he had broken his arm as a child and it failed to heal properly.

His disqualification to join the military was a blessing as he became a father in 1945. Kenneth Clyde was born on July 10, and by that time Vernon had settled into a career as a heavy equipment operator. In 1949, Vernon began working for Henderson Construction where he would remain for the next 22 years.

However, World War II did have an impact on other members of the Kiser and Barrick family. Vernon’s brothers, Loren and Hubert Kiser and, the brother of Frances, George Jr. and two of her brother-in-laws, Lewis Hurlburt and Ed Annon served in the military during the war. All survived the war, but they, and their families, all relocated outside of Moffat County after they returned.

1950-70 The Hahn’s Peak Years
Vernon’s work with Henderson Construction was largely with a small mining company. One of their mining claims was Hahn’s Peak in nearby Routt County. The idea was that because gold had been found in a radius around the extinct volcano, perhaps there were veins of gold in the mountain. For many years Vernon was employed to build and maintain roads on Hahn’s Peak for the mining operations on the mountain. Almost all of the roads on Hahn’s Peak were carved out by Vernon.

Hahn's Peak - Roads by Vernon Kiser

Hahn’s Peak – Roads by Vernon Kiser

Vernon and Frances had three more boys during his tenure with Henderson Construction. Michael Warner was born in 1950, Roy Dean was born in 1953, and Paul Alan was born in 1957.

Because Hahn’s Peak was about an hour and a half from Craig, Vernon lived in a trailer house at the base of the Hahn’s Peak during the week. During the summer when school was out the family would join their Dad and live at the camp for the summer. Once a week Frances and the boys would come into town to wash clothes, shop, and maintain the yard at the house, then head back to Hahn’s Peak.

1960-80 677 Colorado Street
Much of the Barrick family had moved out of Moffat County during the 1940’s and 50’s; however, the Vernon and Frances built a home at 677 Colorado Street in Craig, and From 1958 until 1978, that house was the anchor of the Kiser family. All their boys attended school in Craig, played sports, and graduated from Moffat County High School while living in that house.

The Kiser Family in 1957

The Kiser Family in 1957 at the new house, 677 Colorado Street

Henderson Construction closed it’s doors in 1972, and eventually Vernon took a job at the Moffat County Road Department where he moved up to the Assistant Road Supervisor. By 1976, all of their boys had graduated and left Craig, so Vernon and Frances decided to move to Great Divide and manage one of the county’s remote road maintenance stations.

Of their four boys, Mike Kiser was the only one who returned to northwest Colorado to stay. He was a helicopter mechanic for the Army and was stationed in Germany. After his tour of duty he worked a couple of years as a mechanic for the City of Sandy, Utah. Mike married a woman he met in Utah and they moved back to Craig. In 1975, they had a daughter, Carey.

In Craig, he took a job with the Moffat County Road Department and later became a member of Craig’s volunteer fire department. Unfortunately, while Mike was in his 30’s he was stricken with a hereditary autoimmune disorder that put him in the hospital for weeks at a time and he had to stop working. Eventually, Mike moved out to Maybell where he lived for the rest of his life.

1980’s to 2015-End of an Era
Craig’s story is similar to the story of Radiator Springs in Disney’s fictional town in the animated movie Lightning McQueen, Craig is the town that saw its glory days when U.S. Highway 40 was the best route between Denver and Salt Lake City. Once Interstates 70 and 80 were built, Craig became more isolated even though the two-lane highway is shortest route between the two major cities.

For a person graduating from Moffat County High School, Craig’s career opportunities are limited and the community can’t absorb 100 new job seekers every June. A diploma for many graduates is an order to work for the family business, a signal to scramble to find a local job, or a ticket to pack and leave northwestern Colorado.

Since the Barrick family emigrated to Moffat County in 1913, at least 24 Kiser/Barrick family members lived in northwestern Colorado. By 1990 there were only five members living in the county. The rest left the area for military service, college, better jobs, or just to discover other places. 

The family members still living in Moffat County were Vernon and Frances Kiser, Mike Kiser, Virginia Barrick Hurlburt (sister of Frances,) and George Dean Jr. (brother of Frances.) Vernon had retired from the Road Department and he and Frances purchased a small ranch on the Yampa River west of Maybell. Mike Kiser and Frances’ sister, Virginia Hurlbert, also moved out to Maybell. The five survivors of the Kiser/Barrick family were all natives of Moffat County.

For several years Vernon and Frances enjoyed the return to life on a ranch until Vernon began having health problems. Vernon, the first child of the Kiser/Barrick clan to be born in Moffat County, died at Craig Memorial Hospital in 1996. He was 77. Virginia died in Maybell in 2004. She was 76. George Dean Jr. died in Craig two years later. He was 84. Frances, the last of the first generation of homesteader’s children died at her home in Maybell in 2008. She was also 84.

Michael Warner Kiser 1950-2015

Michael Warner Kiser 1950-2015

After his mother’s death, Mike Kiser remained at the home west of Maybell. He had been married twice, but he had been single for most of the last half of his life. Although he lived with chronic pain, he had been feeling healthier lately. Local people had seen him taking long walks near his home on Highway 318. He had been out on Thursday, November 19, 2015, but no one had seen him since. His brother, Roy, tried to call him on the weekend and when he couldn’t get ahold of Mike he asked the Moffat County Sheriff’s Department to check up on him. They found him dead of a heart attack in his home.

The Kiser/Barrick family line in Moffat County

The Kiser/Barrick family line in Moffat County

Mike’s passing ended a century of the Kiser/Barrick family in Moffat County. The Kisers and the Barricks that were born and raised in northwestern Colorado weren’t really noteworthy. None of them ran for political office, none of them were high-profile citizens, and rarely did you see their names in the local papers. They attended the local schools, worked at local jobs, were involved in sports in high school, and they quietly raised families.

This July the Kiser and Barrick families will come together at Hahn’s Peak to say goodbye to Mike, and say goodbye to our home in northwestern Colorado.

ALSO:  Part I – Pre-Homesteading

ALSO: Part II – Two Family’s Destiny Unfolds

Moffat County, Colorado: Story of Two Families (Part II-Destiny Unfolds)

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Generational, History, Passionate People, Travel

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Barrick, Colorado, Craig, Depue, Dust Bowl, emigrant, Family, family history, Frances Barrick, genealogy, Great Depression, John Wesley Depue, Kiser, Lucy Elizabeth Spicer, Mervin E. Barrick, Moffat, Moffat County, Vernon Kiser

Life on the Emigrant Car

Life on the Emigrant Car

The birth of Moffat County occurred in 1911, and it came with a wave of settlers who had been encouraged to claim homesteads in the county. Most travelled by train with their possessions in an emigrant car. The settlers would then hire wagons to deliver the household goods from the train station to the homestead. Both the Barrick and the Kiser families used emigrant cars to haul their possessions to northwestern Colorado.

Mervin Edward Barrick

Mervin Edward Barrick

1913-Barrick Family Emigration
The Barrick family came to Moffat County in April of 1913. 41 year-old Mervin E. Barrick filed for a homestead ten miles southwest of Craig. He, his wife, Lucy Elizabeth Spicer, and three boys, Buford (18), George Dean (12), and Floyd (8) rode the train from Boulder to the end of the line at Steamboat Springs. By that Fall, the track would extend to Craig, but now the family had to take the stage to Craig.

The family found life an adventure in the new country. In Craig they stayed in the Webb Hotel until the wagons with their belongings arrived. Once the wagons had caught up with them they were taken to their new homestead. The family written history gives a bleak description of arriving at their new home:

Lucy Elizabeth Spicer

Lucy Elizabeth Spicer

“We arrived about the middle of the afternoon and unloaded in the sage brush (sic) and grubbed out a place to pitch a tent and a place to cook and sleep until we could build a tent house. We carried our water for a mile for a couple of weeks until we could dig out a spring closer to home.”

The family worked on the track extension near Hayden that summer, with Mervin and Buford working on the grade while Lucy and the two boys prepared and fed a work gang of up to 20 men. The next few years were a mix of working at the Mt. Harris coal mine and continuing to work on the homestead.

1918-Kiser Family Emigration

Earl Leroy Kiser holding his daughter Velma June with his mother Arminda Nixon and his grandmother Anna McFadden

Earl Leroy Kiser holding his daughter Velma June with his mother Arminda Nixon and his grandmother Anna McFadden

Earl Kiser was 24, when he brought his wife, Mabel Warner and two year-old daughter, Velma June to Craig on April 24, 1918. They traveled by car for a week to get to Craig from Selden, Kansas.

Later Velma June, the eldest daughter recounted the events:

“April 17, Dad, Mother, June, Cecil, and Joe Sulzman started from Selden to Craig in an open Ford. We went to Aunt Orpha’s for dinner, took pictures and started on. We stayed with Uncle Dan Warner that night. We got to Uncle Ted Warner’s for late dinner Thursday and went to Uncle Art Warner’s that night. We left Art’s in a storm which lasted all day….” 

The family travelled through northeast Colorado to Ingleside, located northwest of Fort Collins. From there they headed north, probably on a road that was a predecessor of U.S. Highway 287. The narrative continues:

“…That night we stayed at Ingleside, Colorado. We did our own cooking, and an Indian made our coffee. Monday night we stayed at Hanna, Wyoming; Tuesday night, at Dad, Wyoming, and Wednesday night in Craig at the Armstrong Hotel.”

Their homestead was northwest of Craig, but shortly after arriving they decided to take land at High Mesa. The next year Vernon Kiser was born at High Mesa making him the first Kiser child to be born in the County.

The family written narrative lists the highlights of 1919:

“1919. We bought Bess and Bell, a gray team, from Mr. Ledford in the spring. Vernon Warner Kiser was born October 17, with Dr. Davenport in attendance and Mrs. Strailey as nurse. Nina Kinley was the first teacher at High Mesa. Raymond Warren Comstock died of diabeted (sic) September 18. We spent Christmas at home. June got a doll and Vernon a rattle (from) grandpa and Grandma Lizzie Kiser.”

1920’s-Barrick and Kiser Families Grow

George Dean and Leona Barrick

George Dean and Leona Barrick

In July of 1920, now 19 year-old George Dean Barrick married 16 year-old Leona Elizabeth Depue in Craig, Colorado. The Depue family had moved to the Moffat County from Weld County, north of Denver, sometime around or just before 1917. Leona was the youngest daughter of seven Depue children, two of which had died before she was born. Leona’s father, John Wesley Depue, died in Craig in 1917, at the age of 55.

George Dean and Leona Barrick had their first child in 1921, George Dean, Jr. In 1924, Frances Elizabeth was born, followed by three more daughters, Virginia Dale (1928), Lucy Mildred (1934), and Gladys Faye (1939). All the children were born in Craig.

Mabel Alta Kiser

Mabel Alta Kiser

Earl and Mabel Kiser would have two more sons, Loren Dale (1922) and Hubert Leroy (1925). They were both born in Craig. Vernon attended the High Mesa School until 1933, when he graduated from grade school. The next Fall he began attending High School in Craig; however, transportation to and from school was enough of an issue to warrant mentioning in the family history:

“Vernon drove our Ford part of the time and part time went with Byrl. Vernon played football, was right guard, No. 27.”

1936 Craig High School football team

1936 Craig High School football team

193o’s – End of Homesteading
By the 1930’s Moffat County was changing. In the 1920’s the cattlemen had literally fought battles against sheepherders and settlers under the belief that the land they had used for grazing belonged to them. At one point the Colorado State Militia had to be called in to restore the peace between the cattlemen and sheepherders. By 1920, they had lost the battle over ownership of the land and the cattle ranching industry faded dramatically.

Homesteading peaked and was fading in the 1920’s. By 1934, the government had shut down programs encouraging settlers to come the area. Many of those who had homesteaded gave up their land and either left or moved into Craig. In 1920, 25% of county citizens lived in Craig. By 1930, that percentage had increased to almost 30%, and by 1940, almost 42% of Moffat County’s population lived in Craig.

Percent of Moffat County population living in Craig

Percent of Moffat County population living in Craig

This trend of living in town might not have surprised early explorers who expressed doubts that people could live off the land in the high desert of northwestern Colorado. It is also possible the Great Depression and Dust Bowl played a role in moving into town where work of jobs and opportunities were more likely.

NEXT:  Part III – Another Radiator Springs

BACK:  Part I – Pre-Homesteading

Other Pages of This Blog

  • About Paul Kiser
  • Common Core: Are You a Good Switch or a Bad Switch?
  • Familius Interruptus: Lessons of a DNA Shocker
  • Moffat County, Colorado: The Story of Two Families
  • Rules on Comments
  • Six Things The United States Must Do
  • Why We Are Here: A 65-Year Historical Perspective of the United States

Paul’s Recent Blogs

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  • Road Less Traveled: How Craig, CO Was Orphaned
  • GOP Political Syndicate Seizes CO School District
  • DNA Shock +5 Years: What I Know & Lessons Learned
  • Solstices and Sunshine In North America
  • Blindsided: End of U.S. Solar Observation Capabilities?
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