29 Monday Aug 2011
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Why Should We Care About Sunspots Anyway?.
Parents need to be excited about science if they want their students to be excited and engaged. This blog is dedicated to help parents get up-to-date on science through an exploration of science topics. This article explores the significance of the dynamics of the Sun and how it impacts Earth and humans.
28 Tuesday Sep 2010
Posted in Branding, Lessons of Life, parenting, Passionate People, Pride, Random, Relationships, Respect, Rotary
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behavior, Blogging, Blogs, boys, Child Development, child-rearing, children, Fatherhood, Parent Development, parenting, Public Image, Public Relations, Rotary, Young boys
by Paul Kiser
USA PDT [Twitter: ] [Facebook] [LinkedIn] [Skype:kiserrotary or 775.624.5679]
Paul Kiser
I am a Father three times over, but my first two were girls, which were relatively simple to raise and well-behaved…at least that is what I choose to remember. But the young boys I have known in my life are anything but well-behaved and I was nervous about being the Father of a boy. My son will turn five in a couple of weeks and I have realized that my nervousness was justified. Here are a few of the things I didn’t expect about being a Father to a 4 year-old boy:
Why IS the sky blue?
Alexander with of his cousin
Mowing the lawn is a team effort
28 Friday May 2010
Posted in 2020 Enterprise Technologies, Book Review, Branding, Communication, Customer Relations, Human Resources, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Membership Retention, parenting, Public Relations, Relationships, Rotary, Science, Social Media Relations, The Tipping Point, Violence in the Workplace
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Blink, Blogs, Club Members, Employee evaluations, Employee privacy, Employment, Four-Way Test, HR, job standards, John Gottman, Malcolm Gladwell, Management Practices, Membership Retention, negative relationships, New Business World, performance reviews, positive relationships, Public Image, Public Relations, Rotarians, Rotary, Rotary Club, Rotary District 5190, Rotary International, Social Media, Social Networking, The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Thin-slicing
by Paul Kiser [Twitter: ] [Facebook] [LinkedIn] [Skype: kiserrotary or 775.624.5679]
Paul Kiser - CEO of Enterprise Technologies, inc.
You’ve been warned about ‘this person’ and now you’re being introduced to them. You smile and shake his hand and say, “nice to meet you.” Visibly, you are polite and friendly; however, inside your hoping to be able to move on because even though you’ve never met him before you are preconditioned to not like him. The introduction ends and you move on believing that went things went smoothly. He walks away knowing that you dislike him and he begins to form a negative impression of you. In less than five seconds you have cemented a negative relationship…and you didn’t even know it. What happened?
Malcolm Gladwell
In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, it is called it thin-slicing and it is based on solid research. Gladwell uses many examples of how the human brain picks up seemingly unseen and unheard clues and can accurately identify what is going on in a given situation. In one example, researcher John Gottman and his team coded conversations between married couples using 14 emotional identifiers (1=contempt, 2=anger, etc.) and found that they could accurately predict whether or not the couple was heading for a divorce by the subtle clues that betrayed the inner thoughts and attitudes of each person. Most of these signals lasted a second or less, but the signal clearly indicated the inner feelings of the person and the pattern of their relationship.
Gladwell argues that in a thin-slice experience we usually do not know what we know, nor why we know it, but the evidence is conclusive, we do know it. It is often described as a ‘feeling’ and people usually cannot explain it to others, so it is usually dismissed as being oversensitive. Gladwell‘s research suggests that the feeling is real and that our unconscious mind is the source of the analysis that creates a tangible, and accurate feeling and/or assessment of the situation.
Based on the information in Blink one can conclude that when someone has a dislike for someone, or when people discuss someone else behind their back, the attitudes felt or expressed privately will be exposed in subtle hints the next time we meet the subject of the gossip. We are taught as children to not gossip about others, which was a valuable lesson based on what we now know; however, in the business world people often discuss work performance of subordinates with their peers or superiors. Those discussions then shape our attitudes about the subordinate, which are then revealed in our next interaction with the worker. The same can be said of any relationship, whether it be a superior/subordinate, peer/peer, Club member/member, parent/child, spouse/spouse, or any interaction between two people. Simply put, strong attitudes and opinions about another person can and will be read by that person at the next meeting.
But what is worse is once a negative relationship is formed it is almost impossible to revert it to a positive relationship. Gladwell says that if a person has contempt or other negative attitudes towards someone, even a kind or reconciliatory gesture will be misread as manipulation or motivated by a hidden agenda. That idea is reinforced by the theory of cognitive dissonance, which suggests that once we have an opinion or belief about something we will reject evidence that contradicts our opinion or belief and will even go so far as to manufacture evidence or examples to support our version of the truth.
Do We Have to Like Everyone?
Certainly we don’t have to have a positive relationship with everyone, but negative relationships tend to expend more of our energy and time. This is especially true for people in positions of leadership. Consider the time spent on emails, meetings, phone calls, and emotional stress that involve interactions with people who we have an adversarial relationship versus the support and positive reinforcement we receive through friendly relationships. It is obvious that a negative relationship that is based on our preconditioning to dislike them is not only counterproductive, but also an unnecessary waste of time and emotion.
The first step in avoiding the downward spiral of negative relationships is to recognize that our internal dislike for someone is not hidden from that person. Our actions, behaviors, and responses will be picked up and will, in turn, dictate their response to us. Gossip, whether it is causally done with friends, or professionally sanctioned as part of ‘assessment’ of subordinates is dangerous to our relationship with that person and will ultimately make our life more difficult. Most of us were taught at some point to never say anything about anyone unless you are prepared to say it to their face….it is a good rule in the home, at work, or anywhere else.
Rotary's Four-Way Test
Rotary has a Four-Way Test that is a guide to any relationship. It is meant to take Rotarians to a higher standard in business and in life. The ‘test’ is as follows:
Great words that can help us to build great relationships…even when sliced thin.
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19 Wednesday May 2010
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Ads, Billboards, Black Eyed Peas, Blogging, Blogs, Buddhists, Facebook, Imma Be, Management Practices, Membership Retention, New Business World, Nike, parenting, Public Relations, Rotarians, Rotary, San Francisco, Signs, Social Media, Social Networking
by Paul Kiser
Last weekend we took a short vacation in the Bay area (Pacifica/San Francisco, CA, USA.) During the trip I took notice of signs along the way and it struck me that they might say more about us…than to us. Here are some signs of note:
Obvious Choices
This sign on Market street in San Francisco spoke a truth that you can’t argue with…but does it need to be said? In politics and entertainment we definitely see who has balls and they do seem to gather a following, but maybe it’s time we celebrate intelligence. The great outcome of social media is that people are looking deeper than just short, catchy statements that gain a “Right on!” from those who are wowed by a deceptive turn of phrase.
In politics it seems the more outrageous the idea the more excited some people get about a candidate. I’ve watched people become incensed over very sound ideas to solve our most significant problems and those same people then praise politicians that spew out hate for everything that has made our country great. I hope that this is a phase that we outgrow soon…before the ballsy people destroy all that we stand for as Americans.
Write On!
I hadn’t seen this Nike ad before. It is in the Union Square area of San Francisco and if Nike is speaking of the explosion of Social Interactive Media then I agree!
Before the Internet and Social Media tools a small group of editors controlled who could have a voice and be published. Now new and raw ideas are being openly expressed in millions of independent blogs. Some of us could use an editor, but the beauty of this New World of communication is that the reader is the editor…it is democracy in its purest form.
We’re Not There Yet
Some people seem easily frustrated that we never get ‘there’. We are in a world where change is constant and the road is always in a state of being improved. Satisfaction is the most temporary of all human feelings and people who do not understand this fact will always be deceived by bad politicians and religious fanatics who promise a perfect tomorrow if we only do exactly what they tell us.
Buddhists promote the idea of being and I think that is a great attitude to have to survive this world. Take advice from the musical group Black Eyed Peas. To me the title of one of their latest songs says it all: Imma Be. Yes the world is always changing but that is what makes it exciting. Take a break from time to time and then re-engage and have some fun!
Greet the day and be open for new possibilities
Arms Wide Open
Yes, I had to get my four year-old in on this blog. In Union Square he thought he could catch a bird. He actually knew that he couldn’t, but that did not dissuade him from trying.
I hope that he can maintain a sense of wonder and never let those that think it can’t be done hold him back from trying. There are people in this world whose sole function is to be a naysayer. These people infest anyplace where past success has built up an organization. They constantly destroy all new ideas and creativity in the name of ‘preserving the traditions.’ Don’t ever believe it! The only way to counter their negative attitude is to ignore them and move on.
Lots of choices, but where do we want to go?
Where to Go?
It doesn’t have to be confusing. We only need to remember that life happens. Today is tomorrow’s history and we choose which signs to follow to get there.
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06 Thursday May 2010
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Blogging, Blogs, Facebook, LinkedIn, Nevada, New Business World, Re-Imagine!, Rotary, Social Media, Social Networking, Tom Peters, Twitter, Value-added
by Paul Kiser
Mom!
A Future Phone Conversation Between Mom and her Son
Mom! I just got a flash from Dr. Ramjan..HE ACCEPTED ME!!!!…Yes!…I start his program right away….for crepe’s sake Mom, it’s not like when you went to college. I don’t have to go sit in a classroom and listen to some no-name drone on about stuff nobody cares about!….No, I’m not slamming your education, but honestly Mom why did you put up with it? Going to classes, paying for parking, student fees, and being told what professors you had to learn from, etc., etc….
Paul Kiser - CEO 2020 Enterprise Technologies
Tomorrow’s College to Be Professor Based, Not University Based?
Brick and mortar universities have created elaborate rules and policies (and fees) that tell a student what classes they must complete (some required, a few elective) to obtain a degree. Many of the classes will have facts based on outdated research that must be memorized for tests. In the end the student has a degree that includes course work that had little to do with what is going in today’s working world, but was forced on him or her by a system of Higher Education that is designed for the education of a group, not of an individual.
Social Interactive Media (SIM) tools create new options for Higher Education that could overcome many of the shortcomings of the current University environment. Here are a few issues with the status quo and how Social Interactive Media offers solutions to these issues:
Less Education at a Higher Cost – Universities are slashing budgets as they are being given less money with which to operate. This means larger classes, fewer professors, and older facilities and equipment.
SIM Solution: Eliminate the major costs of massive campuses and administrative overhead using Social Media as a student’s access to the professor. The classroom can be anywhere in the world, including in the field or in the student’s home. This is not a new idea and the use of the Internet for teaching is becoming widely accepted.
Lack of Choice – In the University environment the student has little say in what classes they will take and even less choice in the professor. The professor might be a graduate student with little or no teaching experience, or a tenured professor that has years of teaching experience, but has not performed any research in his or her field for a decade or more.
SIM Solution – Allow the student to choose the seminars and the instructors based on the information and reputation of the professors through blogs and references online. This may create a new classification of the Education Coach who advises and recommends professors and course work. Perhaps Education Coaches will be individually accredited and specialize in certain fields, or perhaps they will be accredited to help a student define a general studies (liberal arts) type program.
Inflexible Scheduling – University classes are based on the concept of group teaching, which requires all students conform their lives to the schedule determined by administrators.
SIM Solution – Individualized studies where the professor works with the student schedules programs that are mutually beneficial.
For decades there have been versions of independent study programs and in the past decade, many legitimate Internet-based colleges programs; however, the negatives of the existing University environment, exacerbated by funding shortfalls open the door to Re-Imagining higher education as a Student/Professor centered system that is relevant, rather than an administrator/bureaucratic centered system that is insensitive to the individual.
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06 Tuesday Apr 2010
Posted in About Reno, Lessons of Life, parenting, Random
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Play Surgery before the big day.
Yesterday our 4 1/2 year-old son, Alexander had his tonsils and adenoids removed. In Part I of this story
(See Positive Harm to Our Son Doesn’t Feel Okay)
I talked about the concerns of harming our child in order to make him healthier and our efforts to prepare him for the experience. It is impossible to know whether that preparation was good or bad, but we certainly have seen the downs and ups of the experience and the problems of too much knowledge.
The Downs of Surgery Eve
On Sunday night we did another session of play surgery before bed and then just before he went to sleep I reminded him that there would be some pain after the surgery and that we would be with him until he went into the OR. That was probably a mistake. Alexander woke up just before 1:00 AM crying. He said his throat hurt, then his ears, then his head. His Mom took it at face value, but he didn’t have a fever and at times the pain was only the throat, so I was more suspicious. He was clearly scared and violently battled to stay with Mom and wanted me to stay away.
We were able to get him to sleep in 10 minute chunks, but he always woke up crying. To me it was clear he was terrorized by the thought of going to the hospital in a few hours. Needless to say, none of us slept the rest of the night.
Mood Recovery Before Surgery
Alexander at home a few hours post op
At the hospital he fell asleep in Mom’s arms in the waiting area and got about an hour in before we were moved into a pre-op room. When he woke up he was still in a foul mood, but he wasn’t crying. In the pre-op room I decided to see if I could get his mind off of the surgery. He had been given a stuffed duck during his tour of the surgery area the week before so I began flying ‘Quackers’ around the room. That got him to laugh and lifted his spirits some.
A Boy Rests
The staff at the Renown was aware of his fears (I got the sense they had experienced one or two patients with a similar concern) and they all worked to help him get his mind off of the surgery. Nurse Toni, (the nurse that gave us a tour of OR the week before,) checked in on him, and his pre-op nurse (I can’t remember her name) did a great job of asking him questions and involving him in the conversation. By the time the anesthesiologist came in Alexander was no longer focused on the surgery and he continued to talk directly to Alexander…and listening to him. By the time the star of the show, Dr. Jenny Van Duyne, entered the room Alexander was ready to hold court. When it came time for Alexander to go to the OR, he had no problem taking a wagon ride away from Mom and Dad.
The next 45 minutes were blessfully short and when Dr. Van Duyne came out we knew everything went as planned. She explained that he had one very large tonsil and she put in one stitch to keep the back of the mouth symmetrical, but everything else looked good.
Recovery Room Down and Up and Down
Post surgery was no cake walk, but the important note is that it was after the surgery…meaning the scary part for us was over. Alexander was groggy and hurting post op but he did what he need to do. He drank liquids and rested. Again the Renown staff did great. Nurse Kim was his post-op nurse and she kept close tabs on us and did not hesitate to give pain meds if she thought they were needed.
If either of us had felt that Alexander wasn’t getting the best care we could have been difficult parents for the staff. We were both exhausted and feeling very protective; however, I don’t remember any time where I felt that Alexander was being neglected. Alexander did his part by drinking water, eating two Otter Pops, and he even went potty.
All was going as planned until we were ready to leave. Just as I picked Alexander up he lost his cookies, or in this case his Otter Pop. It could have been a lot worse but Nurse Kim had made sure we had the emesis (sick) bag at the ready.
Roller Coaster at Home
Alexander - 26 hours post op...vacuuming
Since being home we have dealt with the challenge of getting Alexander to take his medicine (which tastes horrible), vomiting right after taking medicine, sleep in four-hour stints at night, and a really sad and hurting boy. We have also experienced a boy who wants to vacuum and clean the furnace air filter. He feels good for about two hours at a time today and then he doesn’t. Hopefully, each day he will feel stronger.
Our journey is long from over, but we are able to see that doing positive harm to our child was for the best. We know that he will sleep better and feel better. In hindsight I would have not discussed the scary parts of the surgery as much. The pain is best dealt with at the time it hurts, not feared before it happens.
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03 Saturday Apr 2010
Posted in About Reno, Lessons of Life, parenting, Random
Tags
adenoids, boys, hospitals, parenting, pediatrics, Renown, surgery, tonsillectomy, tonsillitis, Tonsils
Alexander prepares for 'play' surgery
On Monday we will get up early and take our four and a half year-old boy, Alexander, to Renown Hospital in Reno. He is basically healthy…that is when he doesn’t stick a plastic bead up his nose,
but he snores and is awaken at night because his tonsils have grown too large and block his airway when he sleeps. He also has a persistent cough at night that comes and goes. We are confident this is absolutely necessary as his Dentist (Dr. Stoker), his Family Practitioner (Dr. McCarthy), and two Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) Specialist have all agreed: Tonsils Must Go.
Play Surgery to Prep for the Real Surgery
Still, it is getting harder to shrug off that this surgery is going to hurt him and there are always risks and complications that can’t be anticipated. Parents may not be required to take the Hippocratic Oath (First, Do No Harm), but even so, it’s instinct for most of us, and when we turn Alexander over to Dr. Jenny Van Duyne on Monday morning we will be asking her to hurt our son. Yes, in the long run he will be better off, but that doesn’t change the fact that when he comes back from surgery he will be injured.
Our Play Operating Room
Ironically, I was pushing for us to have him checked out and to have this surgery done. I had my tonsils out when I was around six and I was eating crackers the next day. My older brother Mike had his done around the same time and as a teenager he had a much harder time recovering from the surgery. Of course, that was back in the days of rusty, old surgery instruments when doctors sharpened knives with a leather strap…okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it was almost 50 years ago.
Post Play Surgery Recovery Room
It doesn’t seem that the surgery has changed that much and the recovery time is one to two weeks, so this is not an overnight hurt that will be better the next day. We also know he gets worried and scared in unfamiliar situations, so we took him for a tour of the Operating Room last week and Nurse Toni did a great job of reassuring him. He’s also watched a DVD over and over that was produced to help children overcome their fears of this surgery. Finally, we’ve been practicing the before, during, and after surgery with me as the doctor (complete with poofy shower cap) and him as the really good patient. So far, so good, but Monday morning will be the final exam for all of us.
I was thinking that this was going to be harder on Mom than Dad, and in the end I will likely push my fears aside for Alexander and Mom, but it still feels odd….I don’t know, maybe it’s just the poofy shower cap.
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