Tag Archives: children

What About Marriage?

02 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by in Aging, Communication, Gender Issues, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Life, Marriage, Mental Health, parenting, Religion, Respect, United States, Women

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I’ve been married twice. Eight years the first time and I am nearing 25 years in the second marriage. I look back at my marriage experiences and I consider young adults and the decisions they have to make in relationships. The question is whether or not marriage worth it? I believe that like most important life decisions, there is no perfect answer.

[Author’s NOTE:  For the purpose of this discussion, marriage is defined as a lifelong, intimate, and exclusive commitment to another person regardless of the genders of the couple (female/male, male/male, or female/female) involved in the relationship. It includes couples who have not officially married but have mutually agreed to have an exclusive, cohabitating relationship. This discussion assumes a monogamous relationship and does NOT include other types of multiple spousal relationships such as polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, or polyamory.]

A Case For Marriage

Despite all the challenges to maintaining a relationship over time, marriage usually has a positive effect on both partners that cannot be achieved as a single individual. Maybe it is sharing the burden of life with someone else that makes our existence more rewarding. Maybe it is the stability of the relationship that smooths out the manic aspects of life.

Regardless, there is almost always a reward in having a significant, loving relationship that is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve by living alone. Marriage typically makes us more focused, more rational, and more emotionally stable.

For some couples, marriage becomes the center of their lives. Decisions are made jointly and other people see the couple as a single entity. All things are shared, even an email address.

For other couples, marriage is a symbiotic relationship that enriches each other’s experiences. Each person maintains a separate identity but time spent together is the oasis of their lives.

It is interesting to note that research indicates that married men live longer than men who remain single, divorced, or are widowed, although there are disputing studies that suggest single men that stay single also live longer. Men who lose their spouse have an increased risk of dying within a short period afterward. Note that this data is on heterosexual couples. Same-gender marriages are relatively new and there has not been enough time to study longevity issues associated with single-sex marriages.

A Case Against Marriage

Any relationship is complicated because it involves the hopes, desires, and preconceptions of two people. The idea that two people will have attitudes about marriage that perfectly coincide is absurd. People who decide to get married typically are willing to compromise on their preconceptions of marriage in exchange for the hope that over time a compromise will be reached and their relationship will become perfect.

While compromises in a relationship are usually made, eventually one or both reach a point where they realize that they compromised on things that are important to them. It is at this point the Dissatisfaction Syndrome begins.

Dissatisfiers

Many years ago I realized that decisions are driven by dissatisfaction. A person becomes dissatisfied with something and ultimately decides to make a change. This usually happens over time and consists of multiple ‘dissatisfiers.’

An example would be a person’s employment. Initially, a person may be excited about a new job, but over time the employee will experience dissatisfiers (reaching top of the pay scale, unreasonable demands, poor management decisions, disagreeable co-workers, etc.) and that person will begin considering looking for a new job. Eventually, a final event (dissatisfier) will motivate an employee to take action.

This happens in marriages. Dissatisfiers can operate in the background of any relationship and build over time. A tipping point is reached when the person realizes that the marriage is no longer sufficiently satisfying and a change must be made. 

The Growth Problem

Another problem in any relationship is the Growth Problem. Human development occurs over a lifespan. A healthy, well-adjusted person needs to engage in a continuous process of learning and adapting. The problem is that humans learn and adopt new attitudes and priorities at different rates and usually in different directions.

A person at 25 is completely different than they are at 40, so what happens when the person you’ve been with for 15 years is now a stranger?

The Worst Marriage:  Codependency

There is a worst-case scenario in marriage. It is when one or both partners are codependent on each other. In this situation, all the normal things that breakdown a relationship occur but one or both partners stay in the relationship because the can’t imagine living independently.

This results in the marriage becoming a black hole of despair, anger, and mistrust that destroys the mental and emotional health of both partners.

Children and Marriage

I believe that children substantially impact a marriage, but that children tend to magnify the state of the relationship. In the case of a healthy relationship, the net impact is to enhance and deepen the relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, the net impact increases the existing problems and issues.  

“Till Death Do You Part?”

The concept of marriage has radically changed over the last two centuries, along with the human lifespan. Most advanced countries accept that the ‘wife’ is no longer the property of the male. Additionally, divorce has become more accepted.

The idea that marriage is for life is not practical for most people despite that many religions still cling to 18th-century concepts of marriage. There are some couples that defy the odds and maintain a loving relationship until death but in many cases, a relationship can become destructive to the emotional and mental health of one or both partners after a period of time.

The Need For a Different Marriage Model

I don’t believe that anyone can predict or accurately assess a couple’s relationship and know whether or not it will last. There are too many variables.

Still, there are benefits to monogamous relationships and marriage creates a framework for a couple to be committed to each other. The problem is that in many relationships, a point of no return is reached that signals the end. What is needed is a new model of marriage that requires couples to have an ongoing assessment of their relationship (e.g.; counseling,) a measure of the quality of the relationship (e.g.; is it working or not) and, if needed, an acceptable transition out of the relationship that keeps both people whole.

What isn’t accounted for in this model are the children. A child should be a planned event, as much as possible, with the understanding that a child creates a third, and equal party in the relationship. Sadly, too many people have children who do not have the appropriate skills to be a parent, let alone a parent in an unhealthy marriage.

The Plantar Wart and HPV

03 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by in Health, Lessons of Life, Medicine, parenting, Relationships, Science, Women

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When I was a teenager I had a plantar wart (or plantar’s wart) on my foot. My small town doctor (before the days of ‘General Practitioner’) burned it off with acid. I remember that it was painful, but I was at the age that any medical or dental procedure was painful. What I didn’t know was that a plantar wart is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV.) Yes, the same virus that we think about that has been attributed to incidents of genital cancers, including cervical cancer.

Plantar Wart caused by HPV

Plantar Wart Caused by HPV, But Not THAT HPV Strain

The good news is that a plantar wart is an infection that is usually considered to be minor and will often resolve with or without treatment. The bad news is that while the HPV vaccine (GARDASIL 9) is effective against nine different strains of genital-related warts, it is not effective against the strains of skin (cutaneous) warts, such as the plantar wart. The great news is that if the plantar wart is not the same strain as the HPV that causes genital warts.

Although a plantar wart can occur at any age, it tends to be a childhood foot issue. Ten percent of children have plantar warts and the most likely age to between 12 and 16. The virus is transmitted from skin surface to skin surface, but at least one source indicated that transmission from another surface, (e.g.; floor) is possible. It is believed that the virus enters the skin through a break in the surface of the skin, such as a cut or sliver.

Still, Vaccinate Against the Other HPV Strains!

Though the HPV vaccine is not effective against the Plantar Wart strain of HPV, it is critical that all children are vaccinated at the appropriate age (between ages 9 and 13) to reduce the risk of female and male genital cancers later in life. The vaccination must occur before the person becomes infected by the virus (i.e.; before she or he becomes sexually active.)

There is a clear link between the strains of HPV that affect the genital areas and cancer. In a study of over 1900 women with cervical cancer, 90% had the signature of the human papillomavirus. Cancer is not a gift you want to give to your children.

[COUNT TO 500: 492nd Article in PAULx]

Should You Become a Parent?

02 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by in About Reno, Aging, Communication, Generational, Lessons of Life, Opinion, parenting, Pride, Relationships, Respect, Women

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! …okay, that’s out of my system. The following is my opinion of whether a person should become a parent. I don’t have a degree in child development, nor do I work with children or parents in any capacity, other than being a parent and the routine contact with other parents. Not being qualified to talk about a topic, including parenting, has never stopped me before, so why would today be any different?

The Smith's and the Waskey's: Parents Extraordinaire

Parenting:  Understanding who is in charge…(hint: it’s the one in front)

Being a parent is the most important, full-time job in the world. It has been around since…well, forever. There are people who are amazing parents and there are people who should never be allowed near children. Most of us fall in the grey area in the middle.

There are definitely people who should never become parents. It not a majority, but it is a significant number. It is unfortunate that there is not a test for parenting. The greatest crime in the history of the world is a parent that inflicts physic and/or emotional abuse on their son or daughter or neglects her or him. 

You? A Parent?

As for the rest of the world, they are the people who should be or are parents. The question is whether or not YOU should be a parent. Here are my thoughts:

You Don’t Like Children?

You may not think that you should become a parent. It’s possible you are correct, but I know a lot of people who were absolutely convinced they didn’t want children, only to have their first child born and hit them a powerful dose of parent dust. Even if you don’t like children, perhaps you just don’t like other children. You never know until you have your own child.

You Will Get the Child You Deserve

I’ve seen this time and time again. A parent is fastidious and super-organized. She has a child that is messy and disorganized. A parent is an introvert. He has a son who is loud and bossy. It is part of the grand scheme. A child is, by design, your teacher and you will learn how to love the behaviors you hate, or you will die.

We spend our young adult lives figuring out who we are, what we like, and what we don’t like, only to have some pint-sized monomaniac systematically shred every value we thought we had. Being a good parent makes you a better person, even if you thought you already were.

Being a Parent is the Reason For Life

There are very few people who are known for their personal contributions to the world. Queen Elizabeth II, William Shakespeare, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, J. K. Rowling, are some examples. The rest of us will not be known for our great work but will be known by our children. If we are lucky we might have a descendent that accomplishes something outside of being a parent, but being a parent is the only accomplishment that a person can claim is unique to them.

You Will Fail, Fall Short, But Still Succeed

A good parent fails on a daily basis. I don’t know why, but that is a reality. A good parent can’t let these failures to change her or his enthusiasm for parenting. He or she will discover how insignificant these failures are after the child becomes an adult. I don’t know why. It’s a mystery.

Should You Be a Parent?

Becoming a parent changes your life. If a parent attempts to fight against the change a child makes in her or his life, they will be unhappy. A person who lives all his or her life without becoming a parent has either failed at life or found a substitute for parenting in their life. They may have had great adventures, become a teacher or a mentor, explored their creativity, dedicated themselves to an enterprise or organization, or followed some other path that defined his or her life.

But as a parent, your life becomes defined by the simple act of connecting your life to another with the intent of serving her or his needs until such time that they can do it on their own. After that, you get to watch and be amazed.

You should be a parent if you have the capacity to discover how important, and insignificant you are in the universe.

[COUNT TO 500: 491st Article in PAULx]

Some Links To Consider

Are You Ready to be a Parent?

12 Things You Should Know About Becoming a Parent

Five Reasons We Become Parents

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Parent

Should I Be a Parent Quiz

In Defense of Parenting:  They Can Be Amazing (If That’s What You Want)

This is NOT an Excuse: Why Older White Men Sexually Harass Women

22 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by in Aging, Business, Communication, Crime, Crisis Management, Employee Retention, Ethics, Generational, History, Honor, Human Resources, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, parenting, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, Relationships, Respect, The Tipping Point, Women

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I need to be clear. Sexual harassment is and always has been wrong.

However, as an older white man, I can say that I am not surprised by the revelations coming out about women who have been sexually harassed by powerful older white men, I have to admit that I have been guilty of the same attitudes and behaviors.

Nothing that I have to say should be construed as an excuse for the behavior. No one should read this and feel any sympathy for men who have engaged in sexual harassment. This is simply an explanation of why I am not surprised by the recent revelations, and why I think almost all men of my age or older have a propensity to sexually harass women.

“Nothing that I have to say should be construed as an excuse for the behavior. No one should read this and feel any sympathy for men who have engaged in sexual harassment.”

I was born in 1957. My parents that raised me were married in 1939. My Dad was twenty years old, and my mother was fifteen…on the day she married. That was not typical; however, older men marrying younger women, even girls, was not uncommon, and during my childhood years, almost every Mom was a housewife.

As a child of the 1960’s, the idea that the man was dominant over a woman was not even questioned. Women were created to please men. The mindset was, women should not be overtly sexual and modest; therefore, it was the man’s place to initiate sexual actions. There was no formal instruction about initiating sexual intention with women, it was just expected that boys would learn as they go.

It was blatantly obvious to me, and probably most men my age, that power and wealth made men sexually attractive, and that women craved men who boldly took the initiative, so they didn’t have to pretend that they didn’t want sex. One way to win over a woman was to be in a position of power, and create a situation where the woman could submit to them.

“…that power and wealth made men sexually attractive, and that women craved men who boldly took the initiative, so they didn’t have to pretend that they didn’t want sex.”

The problem was, it worked. In hindsight, it didn’t work because the myth of women secretly wanting sex was true, it worked because the intimidation of a powerful man, and because most fell into the belief that it was a societal norm. Until I was in my late 20’s, the concept of sexual harassment was not even recognized as a problem in the workplace. A man marrying a subordinate was commonplace.

During my adult years, the development of workplace training began to take hold, and one of the primary topics became sexual harassment training. I, and most other men, were told that we had to be careful how we handled ourselves in the workplace, but that seemed to be focused on the workers, not so much on the executives.

When an issue of sexual harassment did come up with someone in management, companies hushed it up “to protect the woman,” and often the woman was given some type of compensation and moved out of the situation. In the business world, the human resources department enabled men to sexual harass women by treating it as an embarrassment for the company that needed to be dealt with internally, without law enforcement involvement.

There is no excuse for my behavior, nor the behavior of white men my age. In part, the problem is born of myths that are created in the absence of discussion and awareness of sex. Young boys will believe what other young boys will tell them when reliable information isn’t available.

We have to stop pretending that sex is only for married adults, and prior to marriage sex isn’t supposed to happen. Abstinence is an abomination to human interaction, and people who promote that idea don’t realize the damage they are doing to our society. Sex is not taboo or should it be embarrassing to discuss. It is a natural function of life.

We also have to stop letting companies deal with sexual harassment issues. Profit, public relations, and efficient operation of the business have no place in how a workplace sexual harassment issue is resolved.

“Profit, public relations, and efficient operation of the business have no place in how a workplace sexual harassment issue is resolved.”

Finally, I apologize to any woman who feels I have offended and/or been sexually inappropriate with. There is no excuse.

PR Fail: What United Airlines Should Have Done

28 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Aging, Branding, Business, Communication, Crisis Management, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Employee Retention, Ethics, Generational, Honor, Human Resources, Internet, Management Practices, parenting, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, Respect, Social Interactive Media (SIM), Social Media Relations, Travel, Women

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United PR:  At least we don’t shove the children out at 35,000 feet!

Sunday morning United Airlines once again proved that they have some of the worst public relations people in the business, which is likely a reflection of their top management.

The Situation
Two young girls, ages estimated to be around ten to eleven years old, were prevented boarding a United Airlines flight from Denver to Minneapolis with their family. These were children, not adults, nor young adults. According to United Airlines, they were flying on what is known in the industry as a “Buddy Pass,” which is a relatively free (taxes have to be paid) ticket that is one of the benefits of airline employees.

The girls were wearing leggings, which again, according to United Airlines, is in violation of the dress code of people flying on a Buddy Pass. The gate agent apparently approached the family and told them the girls could not board the plane wearing leggings.

It is important to note that two of the girls did not have any other clothing options at the gate, and the family apparently checked bags with the girl’s clothing in them at the main ticketing, where a United representative had to weigh the bags, check the tickets, and confirm the identifications of each of the passengers. Despite this close contact with the passengers, the ticket agent did NOT prevent the children, nor the rest of the family from heading to the gate.

The gate agent that confronted the family was involved in a “tense” discussion of the dress code issue in front of other passengers. At one point the gate agent bragged, “I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.”

This became a major public relations issue because passengers in the area were witness to the scene and a passenger from another gate investigated the situation and reported it on Twitter. The gate agent’s handling of the situation was overt enough to cause another family, not involved in the incident, to have their daughter put on a dress over her leggings.

United later reported that the girls later changed and boarded another flight.

What United Should Have Done
It boggles the mind as to the many public relation fails occurred by United staff, but here is what the public relations people should have said and done:

On Sunday, March 26, a family was boarding one of our flights on a special ticket that includes a dress code requirement for the passenger. One of our gate agents determined that the children were not dressed according to that policy, and the family was not allowed to board the flight.

While the gate agent technically followed our policy, we regret that this situation became a public scene. We also regret that our staff did not remind the family of that policy when they checked their bags at the main ticket counter, when the children would have been able to obtain appropriate clothing before their bags were checked.

Our policy is meant to encourage a professional appearance of those passengers who are flying as a benefit of being employed, or being a family member of one of our employees. When this involves children, we attempt to be sensitive to the difference in the typical appropriate dress for their age.

We regret to the manner in how this situation was handled and apologize to the family involved and to the passengers who were witness to this situation at the gate. We are reviewing our policies and how those policies are enforced.

The United Blood Bath
Rather than apologizing, United decided that it would work to sway public opinion against the traveling family and humiliate them further. Their announcement in response to the situation put all the blame on the children and their family and implied that the gate agent who created the scene was the hero.

It is a Trump-like strategy that is based on never admitting failure, even when the failure is obvious. It did produce a wave of approval by people who enjoy watching someone being crushed by a more powerful and insensitive force.

However, this type of strategy builds mistrust of an organization and clearly demonstrates United’s lack of empathy for its passengers, paying or not. It also demonstrates the lack of humanity by a corporation that doesn’t understand the deferred cost of bad public relations, and proves that United doesn’t know the quality of mercy.

How to Choose Your Favorite Son or Daughter

20 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by in Aging, Lessons of Life, parenting, Pride, Relationships

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And the favorite child is?

And the favorite child is?

Every family that has more than one child faces a question as to which one is the favorite child. When asked, a parent will typically say, “They’re all my favorite,” which is BS and we all know it. Every parent should be able to know which child is their favorite, even if they can’t be honest about it.

Evaluating Your Offspring

Trying to determine which is your favorite is not as easy as it sounds. Flight attendants giving the pre-flight safety briefing on Southwest Airlines sometimes encourage parents of flying with more than one child to determine which child has the best earning potential in case they have to choose one to give oxygen in the event the cabin depressurizes. This is funny the first 20 times you hear it, but that doesn’t stop  them from delivering the joke 100 hundreds of times.

However, earning potential is a poor criteria for determining a favorite child…unless you have a binding contract that gives you a kickback as a quid pro quo for favorite child status. Quite frankly, successful adults often start out as horrible offspring, so I would not use earning potential as a factor.

Ease of child-rearing is also not a reliable criteria. Often it is the badly behaved child that teaches us the most about ourselves and our skills as a parent. Bad children can also become grateful adults, although one shouldn’t bank on that either.

Children who are ‘Mama’s boy’ or ‘Daddy’s girl’ should not be considered as an indicator of favorite child status. Sweet young children can become Satan’s spawn as teenagers, leaving the parent to wonder what they did wrong…as if the parent is at fault.

Children who remain in constant contact, calling their Mom or Dad daily, may seem like candidates for the favorite child, but this stalking technique is illegal in most states, so it doesn’t seem prudent to consider it as a factor?

So how does a parent determine the favorite child?

I have two adult daughters and a nine-year-old son. My daughters have successful lives, wonderful children and selected husbands that are more intelligent than their (my daughter’s) father. My son works hard to do his best and constantly impresses me with his development out of conservative it’s-all-about-me behavior into liberal, make-the-world better behavior. It would seem I would have a difficult time choosing the favorite….

….but I don’t.

The secret to choosing your favorite child is remembering that life is made up of moments. Every moment (in person or by phone or text) with one or more of my children is a moment with my favorite child or children. Our offspring don’t often understand why ‘family gatherings’ are so important to parents because they don’t realize that it is a time when a parent is rich with favorite children.

This doesn’t mean any of our children fall out of favor just because they are not with the parent at any given moment. Children are part of a parent’s life at all times, but when we have the opportunity to interact with our children, the moment is special.

Children are our legacy and we can move on in our lives reassured that we have accomplished all we needed to when we have raised a child. Our offspring become the painting of life we create as parents.We are artists and when we spend time with our children we can admire the grace and creativity of work that we did without a manual, training or degree. We can’t take credit for everything our children become, but we can smile and be content in that role we played in their lives….even if they don’t realize it.

This holiday season, remember to enjoy your favorite child and know that you are not limited to just one. Happy Holidays!

A Glimpse of Education in Panama

22 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Customer Relations, Education, Information Technology, Internet, parenting, Passionate People, Technology, Travel

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2014NN_119DSC_0129 (2)

The Principal in the classroom in Panama

Teaching children is a challenge anywhere in the world. Culture, government, and environment all affect the quality of education. Still, it seems that the foundation of any great school is the dedication of the staff to the students.

Recently I was on my second visit to a community about 90 km (60 mi.) from Panama City, Panama. While in the area I decided to research their education system by dropping in on a local school, the Centro Educativo San Jose elementary school.

It should be noted that to truly understand the education system in Panama, I should first be proficient in Spanish, and second, I should visit multiple schools, both private and public, over a period of weeks or months. A thirty minute conversation with the Principal, who does not speak English, and a teacher acting as my interpreter is only enough to give a first impression.

However, there are clues about the quality of education that are instantly obvious and transcend language barriers.

2014NN_100DSC_0118 (2)Laughing children. It is difficult to bridle the enthusiasm of children, but some schools seem to manage to stifle the joy of childhood. Centro Educativo San Jose has not made this mistake. At this elementary school the children were well-behaved, but laughing and smiling. It was obvious they understood discipline, but they were obviously happy to be at school.

Panama celebrates Thanksgiving

Panama celebrates Thanksgiving

Helpful children. When I arrived I first met an adult with several children. I wasn’t sure of her role in the school (she may have been a parent,) but when I asked if she spoke English, she said, “No.” Instantly a young girl at her side pointed at one of the teachers and indicated she spoke English, then the girl quickly ran to the teacher and brought her to me. This girl knew she could help and did so without hesitation. That tells me that the school encourages critical thinking that empowers children with the ability to respond quickly to a situation.

Professional Staff. In the tropics the temperature is near 30° C (86° F) year round and the humidity wraps around you like a wet towel. There is no air conditioning at this school and any breeze is welcome in the classroom. Despite these environmental conditions, the staff at the school looked and acted professional.

What I learned during my visit surprised me. The students have access to computers and they have a ‘Technology Room” filled with computers. I couldn’t tell if the computers were connected to the Internet; however, I did not expect an 80 year-old public school to have dozens of desktop computers with flat screen monitors.

This school is funded by government support, which limits the per/student resources; however, most schools in Panama are private where parents pay $1,500 to $3000 per year for tuition.

Many schools in Panama operate double sessions with one group of students attending in the morning and another attending in the afternoon. At this school the morning session is 7 AM to 12 Noon, and the second session is 12 Noon to 5 PM.2014NN_120DSC_0130 (2)

While most private schools are open twelve months a year, public schools are in session March through December, and have ‘summer’ break in January and February.

I asked about homework and parent involvement and heard what I expected. Once the students leave the school they are not expected to do homework and parents are not typically involved in assisting the staff in school. In an environment of low pay and long working hours, parents likely have no time to be involved in their children’s education.

I was told the biggest challenge is teaching English to the students. The impact of being bilingual is significant in a working adult’s life in Panama, and anywhere else. Yet, It is hard to explain that to a child in rural Panama whose only encounter with another language is in the school.

I’m grateful to have the opportunity to visit the school, and hope to do it again the next time I’m in Panama. I apologize to the Principal and the teacher who interpreted for me. I failed to write their names down before I left. Both graciously gave me valuable time out of their schedule and I appreciate it.

It was a pleasure meeting dedicated professionals who are changing lives every day by caring about the future of the students in their school.

Espanol Version (Using Google Translate)

Enseñar a los niños es un desafío en cualquier parte del mundo. Cultura, gobierno, medio ambiente y afectan la calidad de la educación. Aún así, parece que el fundamento de cualquier gran escuela es la dedicación del personal de los estudiantes.

Hace poco estuve en mi segunda visita a una comunidad a unos 90 km (60 mi.) De la Ciudad de Panamá, Panamá. Mientras que en la zona me decidí a investigar su sistema educativo por meterme en una escuela local, la escuela primaria Centro Educativo San José.

Cabe señalar que para comprender verdaderamente el sistema de educación en Panamá, que primero debería ser competentes en español, y en segundo lugar, que debe visitar varias escuelas, tanto públicas como privadas, en un periodo de semanas o meses. Una conversación treinta minutos con el director, que no habla Inglés, y un profesor que actúa como mi intérprete sólo es suficiente para dar una primera impresión.

Sin embargo, hay pistas sobre la calidad de la educación que son inmediatamente obvias y trascienden las barreras del idioma.

Niños de risa. Es difícil de frenar el entusiasmo de los niños, pero algunas escuelas parecen manejar a silenciar la alegría de la infancia. Centro Educativo San José no ha cometido este error. En esta escuela primaria los niños estaban bien atendidos, pero riendo y sonriendo. Era obvio que entendían la disciplina, pero eran obviamente feliz de estar en la escuela.

Niños útiles. Cuando llegué por primera vez a un adulto con varios hijos. Yo no estaba seguro de su papel en la escuela (que puede haber sido uno de los padres), pero cuando le pregunté si hablaba Inglés, dijo, “No.” Al instante una chica joven a su lado señaló a uno de los profesores y indica que hablaba Inglés, entonces la chica corrió rápidamente a la maestra y la trajo a mí. Esta chica sabía que podía ayudar y lo hizo sin dudarlo. Eso me dice que la escuela promueve el pensamiento crítico que permite a los niños con la capacidad para responder rápidamente a una situación.

Personal Profesional. En los trópicos la temperatura es de cerca de 30 ° C (86 ° F) durante todo el año y los abrigos de humedad a su alrededor como una toalla húmeda. No hay aire acondicionado en esta escuela y cualquier brisa es bienvenida en el salón de clases. A pesar de estas condiciones ambientales, el personal de la escuela parecía y actuaba profesional.

Lo que aprendí durante mi visita me sorprendió. Los estudiantes tienen acceso a computadoras y tienen un ‘Room Tecnología “lleno de computadoras. No podría decir si los equipos estaban conectados a Internet; Sin embargo, no esperaba un 80 años de edad de escuelas públicas para tener docenas de computadoras de escritorio con monitores de pantalla plana.

Esta escuela está financiado por el apoyo del gobierno, lo que limita los recursos per / estudiante; Sin embargo, la mayoría de las escuelas en Panamá son privadas donde los padres pagan $ 1.500 a $ 3000 por mes para la matrícula.

Muchas escuelas en Panamá operan sesiones dobles con un grupo de estudiantes que asisten por la mañana y otra que asisten por la tarde. En esta escuela la sesión de la mañana a 7 de la mañana a 12 del mediodía, y la segunda sesión es de 12 del mediodía a 17:00.

Aunque la mayoría de las escuelas privadas están abiertas los doce meses del año, las escuelas públicas están en sesión de marzo a diciembre, y tienen descanso “verano” en enero y febrero.

Le pregunté acerca de la tarea y la participación de los padres y escuché lo que me esperaba. Una vez que los estudiantes salen de la escuela a la que no se espera que hagan los deberes y los padres no suelen participar en la asistencia al personal de la escuela. En un entorno de bajos salarios y largas horas de trabajo, los padres probablemente no tienen tiempo para participar en la educación de sus hijos.

Me dijeron que el mayor desafío es la enseñanza de Inglés a los estudiantes. El impacto de ser bilingüe es importante en la vida de un adulto que trabaja en Panamá, y en cualquier otro lugar. Es difícil de explicar que a un niño que sólo el encuentro con otro idioma es en la escuela.

Fue un placer conocer a los profesionales que están cambiando vidas todos los días por el cuidado por el futuro de los estudiantes en su escuela dedicada.

Smoke Adds To Global Warming

18 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by in About Reno, Ethics, Green, Health, Politics, Science, solar, Universities

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Morning smoke haze over Reno, Nevada caused by California King fire

September morning smoke haze over Reno, Nevada caused by California King fire

Seventy-eight percent of the Earth’s atmosphere is nitrogen, and twenty-one percent is oxygen. Both of these gases do not absorb infrared radiation. The heat from the Sun passes through nitrogen and oxygen. When scientists refer to global warming they are not talking about the two gases that make up 99% of our atmosphere.

Global warming is what happens in one percent of the atmosphere. Carbon, water vapor, and other trace gases/particles absorb infrared radiation from the Sun, and from solar infrared radiation that.is reflected off the Earth’s surface. One percent of our air holds the balance between continuity of our climate and rapid variances.

Some are proud of their role in causing devastating environmental change.

Some are proud of their role in causing devastating environmental change.

This summer one of my friends, Dr. Narayan Adhikari, completed his doctoral theses. He studied the rate of infrared absorption in the atmosphere by using instruments that regularly measured the air over various locations in northern Nevada. His research included two significant events that impacted the air quality in the Reno, Nevada area. One event was a dust storm in June of last year and the other was smoke from the Rim fire in California in August of 2013.

Both of these events gave him the opportunity to measure the impact of infrared absorption when the atmosphere has a dramatic increase in amount of aerosol particulates. The results of his studies indicate a significant increase in heating of the atmosphere by infrared absorption during such events. 

This debunks the idea that clouds, smoke, and other ‘sun-blocking’ events might help cool the atmosphere. Smoke from fires, such as the King fire currently burning in California will trap more heat and cause increased global warming.

Five Rules For Taking Images of Your Children

01 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by in About Reno, Lessons of Life, Opinion, parenting, Photography, Random, Recreation, Technology

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Alexander and JasmineI’m an image horse. From my first film-hungry Nikon FM in the 1970’s to the inexpensive, but utilitarian digital Nikon D60, I’ve recorded life through my camera lens. I’m not a professional, but I’ve logged years with landscape, micro, macro, stellar, animal, model, and most other forms of photography.

The one type of photography I dislike most is the type that parents love to do, take semi-posed pictures of people. Every time I hear a parent say, “Smile! Smile! Come on, SMILE!,” I cringe. I don’t know who started the “Smile” prompting, but it is the worst thing anyone can ask of the subject of an image to do. It is saying to the child (or adult), “We want you to fake an emotion so we can show you faking an emotion to other people.”

Humans don’t fake emotions well. In fact, we are horrible at faking emotions. Children are the worst. A fake smile is marked by a tight facial expression around the mouth, bared teeth, and cringed eyes. Unfortunately, the people who take these horrible images are often rewarded by comments like, “Oh, he looks so handsome,” or “They look like they’re having such a great time!” Of course people are going to compliment your picture-taking ability, they want it to end!

This doesn’t mean people need to take sad or “how-long-do-I-have-to-stand-here?” pictures. There are a few simple rules that will avoid taking fake pictures of people you love.

Image Composition is YOUR Job, Not Their’s
Instead of going for the posed shot, which everyone hates to be involved in, position yourself so that you can take a REAL image of what is happening. From talking to playing children (and adults) in action are much more interesting than a posed shot. You want a recorded image of people engaged in life, not the camera, so you must do the work required of any good photographer, not them.

Does Fake Happy Really Tell The Story?
Sometimes children can be intensely focused on a task, or interacting with others. WHY would you want to stop this intensity and fake a smile for the image? Take the picture that tells the story instead of the fake happy picture that makes them look stupid.

If You Demand Happy, Make It Real
Okay, happy children can be a great image, but if you must have that type of image, make them laugh naturally. Ask questions like, “who’s the stupidest person with a camera?” When they laugh and point at you, take the picture. I guarantee that image will be better than the one where you said, “Smile!”

Be Unseen and Patient
It’s almost always better to hang around for a while before you take the picture. Look for the best composition, the best angle, and become part of the background. They may notice you, but children attention spans are marvelously short and they have a Jedi-like power to ignore a parent, so use that to your advantage.

It’s Digital, Take Lots of Images, Select Few
People sometimes think that every image should be perfect. I’ll admit, in the days of film cameras, when I got my photos back from the developer I used to feel guilty about all the failed images; however, today they are just digital bytes and bad pictures can be deleted. Take ten images and consider yourself a great photographer if there is one good one in the bunch.

Here’s one thing to consider the next time you see someone point a camera at another human:  if they say ‘Smile!’ it’s going to be a bad image.

PBS Station To Cut After-School Programming To Attract Donors

28 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by in About Reno, Communication, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Education, Ethics, Generational, Management Practices, parenting, Public Relations

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Paul Kiser

Reno, Nevada PBS affiliate, KNPB is cutting almost a third of its dedicated children’s programming and all of its dedicated after-school shows that target school-aged children. Effective next week all PBS Kids shows on KNPB will end at 12:30 PM, cutting 2.5 hours from its current 9 hours of children’s programming. The programming cuts will put KNPB third from the bottom of 30 western United States PBS stations in total hours of daily children’s programs  and the only PBS affiliate without after-school programming.

Kurt Mische, President and CEO of KNPB, denied that the station is cutting ‘all’ programming for school-aged children, and noted that programs like NOVA, Nature, American Experience, and Great Performances “are of great benefit…and interest…to school age children.” Those programs along with the Antique Roadshow will now air once a week at 5:00 PM after PBS News Hour and The Charlie Rose Show, which will fill the after-school time slots at 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM.   

Mische indicated that the programming changes are being initiated to attract donors and money, which school-age children are not providing to the non-profit organization.  He explained,  

“Making our changes will allow us to serve a larger audience of viewers…and donors…who not only watch but help to financially support our important service.”

Another PBS affiliate recognizes the issue, but has different philosophy regarding programming for school-age children. Ron Pisaneschi, the Director of Content for the PBS affiliate in Boise, Idaho (Idaho PTV) said that there is more programming competition for the attention of school-age children because of commercial children’s television on the cable channels, but added, “even though the audience is small, we want to serve them.” 

Hours of Daily Children's Programming of 30 Western US PBS Stations

Programs cut from KNPB’s schedule are The Electric Company for 6-10 year-olds, Cyberchase for 8-11 year-olds, Super Why! for 3-6 year-olds, WordWorld for pre-schoolers, and a second daily airing of Arthur for 4-8 year-olds. KNPB already had cut Fetch! for 6-10 year-olds earlier this year. The only two PBS stations with fewer hours of children programs are Rohnert Park and San Mateo, California. Both are in the San Francisco area market where PBS affiliate KQED has 19.5 hours of children’s programming in addition to a 24-hour PBS Kids channel. San Mateo PBS affiliate KCSM has only one hour of daily children’s programming; however, KCSM is currently up for sale and accepting bids until February 14, 2012.

Ironically, Mische’s attitude about the value of children’s programming to KNPB and to the State of Nevada was more supportive last year when he stated,

KNPB is proud to be a leader in education. At a time when education in Nevada garners its share of negative publicity, KNPB is taking action to impact education and life-long learning. We broadcast 52 hours per week of award winning, high quality, and trusted children’s programs that delight and teach youngsters.

KNPB 2010 Annual Report

The children’s shows, including all after-school shows will be cut effective January 2, 2012.

A version of this article first published as
PBS Station To Cut After-School Programming To Attract Donors

on Technorati.com

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Graph: Hours of Children’s Programming on 30 Western US PBS Affiliates

28 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by in About Reno, Communication, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Education, Ethics, Generational, Management Practices, parenting, Public Relations

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How many hours of dedicated children’s programming are on PBS stations in the western United States?  This graph shows that after KNPB cuts 2.5 hours of children’s programming on January 2nd, it will be tied for third among 30 western US PBS affiliates for the least amount of children’s programs (programming survey based on changes to be made in January 2012.) KNPB will also be the only station among those surveyed without after-school programming.

Click on graph for larger image

Things I didn’t know about being a Father of a four-year-old Boy

28 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by in Branding, Lessons of Life, parenting, Passionate People, Pride, Random, Relationships, Respect, Rotary

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by Paul Kiser
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Paul Kiser

I am a Father three times over, but my first two were girls, which were relatively simple to raise and well-behaved…at least that is what I choose to remember. But the young boys I have known in my life are anything but well-behaved and I was nervous about being the Father of a boy. My son will turn five in a couple of weeks and I have realized that my nervousness was justified.  Here are a few of the things I didn’t expect about being a Father to a 4 year-old boy:

  • I didn’t know I would have to justify which route I took home from Starbucks. When the little guy in the back seat says, “Dad, why do you go home this way?,” you have to either play the ‘I’m-the-adult-and-that’s-why’ card, or you have to try to explain the subtleties of traffic, time of day, and the desire to travel on surface streets with the sunroof open. Wise or not, I usually try to explain things, because I’m a teacher at my core … but I’m rethinking that approach.

    Why IS the sky blue?

  • I didn’t know I would have to answer questions that force me to defend the stupidity of our language, like, “How come we say the alarm is going off, when it is on?” (i.e.; making noise). It’s a great question. Anyone want to field that one?
  • I didn’t know that going to the bathroom is a wait-until-you-only-have-seconds-before-disaster event and under no circumstances is possible upon suggestion by a parent.
  • I didn’t know little boys really did ask, “Why is the sky blue?” and expect an answer that they can understand. Have you ever tried to be the first person to explain the concept of a planet, the sun, photons, the atmosphere, and light absorption to someone? It is worse if someone else is present because it is like making lasagna, everyone has a better way of doing it.

    Alexander with of his cousin

  • I didn’t know that a four-year-old boy could flirt … and he’s really good at it … when the girl is at least three times his age.
  • I didn’t know how well a boy could manipulate …uhm, his Mom. This one happened today. “Mom, could I have another treat…because you love me?” Fortunately, I’m immune to such ploys!
  • I didn’t know a boy could have such joy over catching grasshoppers and bugs. It seems a cliché about a boy and bugs, but the desire to catch and detain anything smaller than him is hardwired in his behavior.
  • I didn’t know I would become aware of every child around me even when my son is not there. Why should I care? These other kids have parents keeping watch on them, but when I see a child about to do something hazardous the urge to usurp the other parent’s authority is sometimes overwhelming.

    Mowing the lawn is a team effort

  • I didn’t know I would have to wait to mow the lawn until he would be there to ‘help’ me. This was a recent quote, “Dad, I’m glad you waited until I got home to mow the lawn because I would be really angry with you if you had done it when I’m not here.” I have my orders.
  • I didn’t know that I could be attacked and beaten on with such zeal. I’m really hoping he learns to pull his punches before he gets too strong.
  • I didn’t know that a boy could change my attitude … about being the Father of a boy. Still, if you’re about to be a Father of a boy, we need to talk.
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A Better Parent..Not Perfect

29 Monday Mar 2010

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I’m a better parent…not perfect…just better.

Alexander and his plastic bead

Yesterday our son, Alexander, was supposed to be resting.  Resting is a new thing because at 4 1/2 years old he is not always able to take a nap.  When his Mom went in to check on him he was whimpering and then she saw his face covered in blood.  She called me and by the time I got there he was crying.  She asked me to get him down from his bunk bed (yes, at four he wanted to move to a big boy bed, and it had to be a bunk bed.)  I did and after several, “What happened?!?” questions, we learned that he had stuck a plastic bead up his nose.

Now if I were a young parent my next statement would be something along the lines of:

“What the Hell were you thinking!”

But I didn’t.  Instead I searched the bed to see if possibly, and mercifully, the bead was not up in his nostril, but rather was just on the bed somewhere.  After a thorough search we learned it was nowhere to be found.  The realization began to sink in that a plastic bead that he had found outside that day…after laying in the dirt for decades…was up in his sinus.  As a young parent my instinct would be off to the ER, but rather we decided to wait.  By this time he had calmed down, the bleeding had stopped, and his Mom and I decided that this was no longer an emergency.

The Bead of Shame

At this point we began to explain to him that when things like this happen he needs to call for us rather than try to fix the problem himself…a good parent thing to say, but to a 4 1/2 year-old it was like explaining the real definition of Socialism to a member of the Tea Party.  Still, it was a better parent thing to say than sentences that began with, “Don’t you ever…”

This morning we were able to see it with the help of a..a..a nose-looker-in-thing and made a couple of attempts to suck it out with a…a…a nose-sucker-thing..I don’t know what they’re called…I’m male remember.  After no success in extracting the plastic bead we called his Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor, who, coincidently will be removing his tonsils next week.  They set up an appointment for tomorrow.  We were resigned to have to sheepishly go into the doctor’s office and try to explain why a little boy would be allowed to have a plastic bead in his possession.

Happy boy, happier parents

However, this afternoon he was ‘sniffling’ and we told him to blow his nose, lamely hoping that bead would come out and this would become a good story to tell his girlfriend when he was sixteen, when behold, the bead came out!

We are trying not to think about all the bacteria on the bead when it went up his nose, but the fact that it came out was the best news that we’ve had in a long time.  As for any four-year old girls out there who may be dating my son in twelve years, be forewarned, you’ll be hearing about the bead-up-the-nose story.

I said I was a better parent…not perfect.