3rd From Sol

~ Learn from before. Live now. Look ahead.

3rd From Sol

Category Archives: Lessons of Life

Why the Stock Market is Like a Strip Club

24 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, Business, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Economy, Ethics, Generational, Government, Honor, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Politics, Public Image, Public Relations, Relationships, Respect, Women

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dancers, girls, invest, investments, men, portfolio, stock market, strip clubs, Women

People and Donald Trump use the stock market as proof that the economy is great. The problem is that the stock market is to our economy as a strip club is to love relationships.

Nothing To Do With Money or Love

A strip club is a place where white men give money to the girl that pleases them the most. It has nothing to do with love. Similarly, the stock market is where hardcore investors give money to the investment that pleases them the most. It has nothing to do with the economy.

In both a strip club and the stock market, customers are looking for the girl (investment) will put out more for them. The man or investor doesn’t care about the larger picture. He is after a short-term gain. In fact, like the guy who goes after the ‘bad’ girl, the investor can bet against an investment and still get what he wants.

Stock Market and Strip Club Feel the Pain

It’s not rocket science to understand that a booming stock market has no connection to the economy…unless….unless the economy crashes. When the economy goes south the wealthy investor discovers that investments are fickle. This is similar to the man who’s real relationship crashes and he discovers that even the girl in the strip club is not going to replace the one he loved.

When you hear a man or Donald Trump talk about how great the stock market is doing, remember he is like the guy talking about how great the girls at the strip club are, and understand he is talking about what’s in his pants, not what is real to the rest of us.

The lesson? Stock markets and strip clubs are for jerks with too much money.

The video below applies somehow…not to strip clubs, but to pompous men who like to tell us how great they are…you know…stable geniuses…

Panamá’s Caribbean Afterthought

14 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Business, Ethics, Government, History, Lessons of Life, Panama, Photography, racism, Recreation, Respect, Technology, Travel

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Agua Clara locks, beach, Caribbean, Colón, Fort San Lorenzo, Mira Flores locks, Panama, Panamá Canal, pirates, Spanish, Travel, vacation, visitor's center

The Spanish cannons of Fort San Lorenzo on Panamá’s Caribbean coast lie out in the open, unprotected

The Carribean coast of Panamá has played a significant role in world economic development; however, today it is an afterthought for most of the world. It is isolated and relatively undeveloped. All that may be about to change.

Panamá’s Carribean  History 

Panamá has been the center of Transocean trade routes for centuries. Before there was a canal across Panamá connecting the Pacific and the Atlantic, there was a railroad. Before there was a railroad, there was a mule trail. Crossing the fifty kilometers of Panamá has been a much better alternative than the thousands of kilometers around South America by ship.

columbus-journeys-to-the-americas

It wasn’t until Christopher Columbus’ 4th and final expedition that he landed in what would be Panamá

Christopher Columbus reached Panamá on 16 October 1502, and he was told of a path to another ocean, but it was not until 1513 when Vasco Núñez de Balboa crossed Panamá by land that a link to the Pacific (then known as the South, or Sur, Ocean) was confirmed.

After it was learned that Panamá was a narrow isthmus of land between two oceans, the country became the center of ocean trade routes between the Atlantic and the Pacific. Naturally, this activity led to the development of Panamá City on the Pacific side of the trade route. What is interesting is that on the there is not a sister major city on the Caribbean coast.

The Streets of Colón. At 78,000 (2010) it is the largest community on the Caribbean coast of Panama

The Caribbean Afterthought

The Caribbean coast of Panamá is a victim of its history. Pirates pillaged the area to steal the wealth that Spain and France were stealing from Latin American countries. Now the forts that protected the coast lie in ruins with cannon barrels scattered among the neglected sites.  

Banana plantations imported thousands of African slaves until the banana market was flooded and plantations shut down, leaving a population of people who had no power or authority, to exist in the vacuum of a society. Crime is higher, especially in Colón, and the economy of the Carribean lacks a consistent source of jobs and income. 

The Caribbean side of Panamá missed the wealth and attention that would be expected at the end of a critical trade route. The only significant town on Panamá’s Caribbean coast is Colón, at the northern end of the Panamá Canal, and it is not held in high regard to those who have seen it or know it.

Until recently, access to Panamá’s Caribbean coast was difficult, and there was no real tourist attraction. It has been the ghost of Panamá’s past that no one thought about, or cared; however, that may soon change.

The Coming Caribbean Extreme Makeover?

No one can accurately predict the next real estate boom, but there are indications that Panamá’s north coast is about to explode in new activity. There are five reasons:

Access

The completion of the Colón Expressway, driving to the Caribbean coast is relatively easy. What was an eight or nine hour drive from Panamá City is now slightly over an hour, making it the same travel time as the Pacific beaches west of Panamá City.

New Tourist Attraction

Prior to the 2017 completion of the new canal locks, the only public viewing area of the Panamá Canal was near the Pacific side, near Panama City. This Visitor Center sits adjacent to the century old Mira Flores locks.

The control tower of the new Agua Clara locks of the Panamá Canal

However, with the new locks, a second Visitor’s Center was built adjacent to the new Agua Clara locks on the Caribbean side. Because many people want to see the new locks, and because the old Visitor Center doesn’t view the new, bigger, Pacific-side locks, the new Caribbean Visitor’s Center will draw in more tourists to the Panamá’s north coast.

The New Caribbean Bridge

A new, third bridge crossing the Panamá Canal is being built at the mouth of the north end. Once completed. it will give easy access to the west side of the canal on the Caribbean coast. This area is largely undeveloped.

Towers for the new bridge over the Panamá Canal the Caribbean side

Great Beach Settings

The Pacific coast has cloudy water and more populated beaches. The Caribbean coast is the classic has clear, blue water and remote beaches.

Quiet, out-of-the-way places make Panamá’s north coast very attractive

Undeveloped

A developer operates on a desire to find undervalued property that can turn a profit. It would seem that the Caribbean coast is ripe with undervalued property. A developer that has connections with the correct people in Panamá’s government could reap big profits over the next two decades from inexpensive land on Panamá’s north coast.

About This, About Writing

13 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, April Fools Day, Branding, Business, Club Leadership, College, Communication, Crime, Education, Employee Retention, Ethics, genealogy, Generational, Government, Government Regulation, Health, Higher Education, History, Honor, Human Resources, Information Technology, Internet, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Membership Recruitment, Membership Retention, Opinion, Panama, Photography, Politics, Public Image, Public Relations, racism, Relationships, Religion, Rotary, Science, Science Fiction, Social Interactive Media (SIM), Social Media Relations, Space, Taxes, Technology, Tom Peters, Travel, Universities, US History, Writing

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Blogging, Paul Kiser, Paul Kiser's Blog, PAULx talks, rebranding, Wordpress, writing

In the Beginning

Eight years ago I started writing this blog. I had assumed that writing a blog would put me in front of a broad audience anxiously awaiting my next post.

It didn’t….but I kept writing. I wrote about business, human behavior, human resources, management, social media, my personal life, Rotary, public relations, history, time, blogging, travel, Nevada, global warming, spaceflight, politics, my stroke, April Fool’s Day, religion, science fiction, science, photography, media, more history, Panama, gay marriage, the future, great people, not-so-great people, education, Moffat County, patriotism, more politics, and fantasy.

There were a few bright moments when I touched upon a topic that caught some attention, but for the most part, my writing has simply been an expression of my opinions and ideas. I’ve discovered, writing is more important than being read.

Writing, For Me

A blog is like writing a diary or a book. It is meant to a personal statement. Someday, my children or my children’s children may read it and know more about me. I find comfort in that thought. 

My articles became less frequent in the last few years, but recently I have experienced a rebirth of writing. I suspect that my sleep apnea may be one of the issues causing the decline in writing. My brain was starved of oxygen and sleep every night for many years. Now that I am being treated for it, my cognitive functions seem to be reengaging.

Writing a blog has improved my communication skills, and has helped me organize my thoughts. This, this thing I’m doing, is an unfinished novel about the world from one perspective. I’m not a great writer, but I’m better than I was eight years ago.

For the last month, I have been publishing a new article every day. I don’t know that I will keep up that pace, but it is forcing my brain to think, and that is the goal.

Rebranding My Writing

I have decided to rename my blog. First, the term ‘blog’ has developed a negative meaning to many people, so I needed to drop the term. Second, my last name is not as relevant as it was a year ago, before I discovered that biologically, I am not a ‘Kiser.’ 

I tried several title ideas but finally settled on PAULx talks. It is the 2.0 version of Paul Kiser’s Blog. I don’t have a destination in mind for my writing. I never have, but I’ll see where this takes me.

Panamá versus Oklahoma: Transportation

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Government, Lessons of Life, Panama, Photography, Recreation, review, Taxes, Technology, Travel

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cars per 1000, freeways, highways, hiways, Interstate Highways, Panama, Panamerican Highway, potholes, road maintenance, roads, Travel, travel Oklahoma, tropics

The highway from El Valle to the Pan American Highway can have surprises for an unsuspecting driver

Transportation in Panamá may not be quite as civilized to a citizen of the United States would be accustomed. Many people who visit Panamá plan ahead and use experienced local drivers, Uber, taxis, or buses to navigate the streets and highways of the country. In eight visits to Panamá, I have gained some insights on a country that is almost schizophrenic in its society. To understand the ‘why’s’ of Panamá, it is easier to compare it to a more familiar place to United States citizens, like Oklahoma.

Transportation IN Panamá Versus Oklahoma

Panamá is about half the size of Oklahoma, but with almost the same population. Panamá has 132 vehicles per 1,000 people, and Oklahoma has almost six times that number (765 vehicles for every 1,000 people.) Personal ownership of vehicles is much less common, especially outside of Panamá City. Taxis and buses are the most common transportation for the working class of Panamá. 

Road signs can be more of a hunting experience for the driver

Because Panamá is smaller than Oklahoma it naturally has fewer roads. Streets in small communities may have some main roads that are paved, but those that are paved are narrow with no gutter or curb, and the farther away from a primary road and/or a resort area, the more likely the road is unpaved.

Outside of the few highly used highways between significant communities, most paved roads in Panamá consist of a thin layer of asphalt on a graded road base. This results in roads that can develop cracks and potholes relatively easily. Maintenance of these roads is limited and potholes are a part of life in driving in the country.

Panamá City: Experienced drivers only

In Oklahoma, it is common to have a maintained gravel road; however, in Panamá, these types of roads are rare. This is probably due to a lack of funding to maintain unpaved roads, and conditions in the tropics that make roads slimy, muddy, rutted trails that quickly become overgrown.

Colorful buses are part of Panamá‘s roadway experience

The rule in Panamá is driver beware. Even on the Panamerican Highway, potholes are common and some have the potential to do significant damage to a car if an unwary driver hits it. Unlike Oklahoma, there is not a larger federal government where tax dollars collected in more populated states are funneled back to increase road maintenance.

The quality of roads in Panamá, like so many other things, is determined by what is absolutely necessary, not what would be best.

[NOTE:  Thanks to my guide and friend, Will.  This post is dedicated to Carole Poling, a classy and adventurous woman who will be missed.] 

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

08 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Science, Technology

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BiPAP, central sleep apnea, CPAP, dream, dreaming, hypopnea, Medicine, obstructive sleep apnea, sleep, sleep study

Lack of oxygen does bad things to a brain. A lack of quality sleep is almost as bad. Dreaming is a part of quality sleep, but for many years my quality of sleep was being compromised by my obstructive sleep apnea.

When I would try to sleep I would lay down. I would relax. I would drift off to sleep…and then my tongue and soft palate would relax and prevent me from breathing. It’s called obstructive sleep apnea.

My body would react and wake me up just enough to breathe again. I ignored this problem for decades even as it continued to worsen. The result was a constant state of bone-weary fatigue, waking up feeling like I needed a nap, and an inability to focus. I also stopped dreaming.

Finally, my daughter convinced me that I needed to do a sleep study, and I asked my doctor, who then referred me. After the study, I learned that I have severe obstructive apnea (the airway blockage when my muscles relaxed,) central apnea (a failure to breathe automatically,) and hypopnea (underbreathing, or not breathing adequately.) Because of the severity of my problem, I was prescribed the use of a BiPAP machine at night to keep my airway open.

Now, I sleep. Really sleep. And I dream again. Some are odd, quirky dreams…okay almost all dreams are odd and quirky, but it was a surprise to discover what it was like to dream again.

I cannot stress enough how critical it is for a person to ask for a sleep study if they snore, or have been observed to stop breathing while sleeping. People with sleep apnea are; 1) starving their brain of oxygen, and 2) torturing themselves with sleep deprivation that puts them in a state of constant exhaustion. Apneas and hypopneas are an attack on a person’s physical and mental states.

Sleep is vital to our ability to effectively function when we are awake. Dreaming is vital to effective sleep.

Are You Not Breathing When You Sleep?

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, exercise, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Science, Technology

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apnea, BiPAP, breathe, breathing, central sleep apnea, CPAP, lateral medullary syndrome, neurological, nighttime health, obstructive sleep apnea, pulmonary, sleep apnea, sleep study, sleeping, treatment, Wallenberg Stroke, Wallenberg Syndrome, Wallenberg's Stroke, Wallenberg's Syndrome

Hooked up for my sleep study

One of the scariest situations I have encountered is to learn that my brain sometimes forgets to trigger my breathing while I’m sleeping. It is called Central Sleep Apnea and it is different from Obstructive Sleep Apnea that typically is related to snoring.

Central apnea is a ‘systems disorder’ in that the nervous system fails to trigger the breathing reflex. Obstructive apnea is a ‘mechanical disorder’ caused by blockage of the respiratory airways as the soft palate and the tongue relax and collapse into the airway reducing or stopping the airflow. Obstructive apnea is usually associated with snoring. Central apnea is not.

In my case, I have both obstructive and central apnea. Both affect my oxygen saturation in my blood when I sleep, and both can disrupt the quality of my sleep cycles. My central apnea may be a result of my 2012 Wallenberg’s Stroke (AKA:  Wallenberg’s Syndrome.) This is a stroke affecting the medulla, or brainstem that controls automatic body functions such as breathing.

Obstructive sleep apnea is relatively common; however, central apnea is not as common. In addition, obstructive apnea is effectively treated by using a CPAP or BiPAP machine during sleep to force pressure into the airway. Central apnea can be improved by this treatment; however, neither a CPAP, nor a BiPAP machine are designed to recognize a lack of breathing; therefore, a patient with central apnea may still have an issue with low oxygen saturation because the carbon dioxide is not being expelled from the lungs.

Unfortunately, some pulmonary medical professionals involved in diagnosing and treating sleeping disorders focus on obstructive apnea because it is more common, and it is effectively treated with a machine. Central apnea may have fewer events per night than obstructive apnea and when a medical professional observes that most of the apneas are resolved with a CPAP or BiPAP machine, it could be easy for them to view the remaining central apnea events as insignificant.

However, if a patient has central apnea, his brain may still be starving for oxygen even if the obstructive apnea events are completely resolved. The only way to determine this is for the physician to do a follow-up oximetry study to determine if the oxygen saturation of the bloodstream is at normal levels after treatment of the obstructive apnea has begun.

Both obstructive and central apneas can lead to serious health issues including excessive insomnia, fatigue, weight gain, headaches, nighttime chest pain, difficulty in concentrating, and mood changes.

Central apnea can also result in death. There have been documented cases (SEE below) of a patient dying in their sleep (Ondine’s Curse) within days or weeks of a Wallenberg’s stroke. The assumed cause is a failure to breathe.

The only way to determine central apnea is for the patient to undergo a sleep study; however, it is important to remember that not all sleep study programs recognize central apnea as a significant issue. If the patient has both obstructive and central apnea, they may assume that treatment of the obstructive apnea issue resolves the problem. It is vital that a follow-up nighttime oximetry test be done to determine if the oxygen saturation is resolved by the use of a CPAP or BiPAP machine.

My apnea issues were undiagnosed for five years after my Wallenberg’s Stroke. Hopefully, the neurological medical community will someday require a sleep study for every Wallenberg’s Syndrome patient as part of the best practices for stroke patients. Post-stroke apneas seem to be overlooked because they don’t present obvious symptoms unless the patient dies.

Links to central apnea related to Wallenberg Syndrome:

Central sleep apnea (Ondine’s curse syndrome) in medullary infarction

Central type of sleep apnea syndrome caused by unilateral lateral medullary infarction

Obstructive sleep apnea after lateral medullary syndrome

Sleep Apnea as a Feature of Bulbar Stroke

Delayed Central Respiratory Function After Wallenberg’s Syndrome

Rapidly progressive fatal respiratory failure (Ondine’s curse) in the lateral medullary syndrome

Ondine’s Curse in a Patient with Unilateral Medullary and Bilateral Cerebellar Infarctions

What Happens In Sixty Years

19 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Aging, Education, Generational, History, Internet, Lessons of Life, Politics, Science, Space, US History

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automobiles, cars, Change, development, lifetime, NASA, Pope, population, Presidents, space exploration, Technology, U.S. history

I was born sixty years ago today. We often talk about how life has changed since the Internet age, as if life before the Internet was static. It’s good to be reminded that change is relentless, and it is not confined to any particular time period.

In my lifetime:

  • Sputnik 1 and 2 were still in orbit (both launched shortly before my birth)
  • The word, ‘Aerospace’ was created
  • The average U.S. lifespan increased by almost ten years.
  • NASA was created
  • Nikita Khrushchev became Premier of the Soviet Union
  • Eisenhower was the first President to be broadcast in color on television
  • Almost all of the Interstate highways were built
  • Ford, GM, and Chrysler went from producing almost 90% of all U.S. cars to half that today, with Chrysler owned by foreign investors
  • We went to the Moon
  • There have been seven Popes, eleven Presidents, (and Donald Trump)
  • General Charles de Gaulle was elected President of France
  • Alaska and Hawai’i became the 49th and 50th States
  • Just over a third of all U.S. adults had a high school degree, now almost ninety percent have graduated from high school
  • Humans saw first image of the far side of the Moon (USSR’s Luna 3)
  • Fidel Castro became Premier of Cuba
  • We’ve had people in space, almost continually, for decades
  • Kmart and Wal-Mart didn’t exist when I was born
  • Sears went from dominating the retail market to almost complete failure
  • Leaded gasoline was determined to be poisoning humans and was banned
  • The World Trade Center was built and destroyed
  • Average gas mileage has more than doubled
  • We have advanced from rotary-dialed phones, to tone-based keypad phones, to cell phones, to smartphones
  • The world population has grown from 2.9 billion to 7.6 billion

This is just a small sampling of the changes that have happened in my lifetime. What will happen in the next sixty years?

This is NOT an Excuse: Why Older White Men Sexually Harass Women

22 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, Communication, Crime, Crisis Management, Employee Retention, Ethics, Generational, History, Honor, Human Resources, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, parenting, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, Relationships, Respect, The Tipping Point, Women

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children, Donald Trump, Education, management by intimidation, men, power, Ray Moore, sex, sex ed, sexual harassment, sexual relationships, wealth, Weinstein, Women

I need to be clear. Sexual harassment is and always has been wrong.

However, as an older white man, I can say that I am not surprised by the revelations coming out about women who have been sexually harassed by powerful older white men, I have to admit that I have been guilty of the same attitudes and behaviors.

Nothing that I have to say should be construed as an excuse for the behavior. No one should read this and feel any sympathy for men who have engaged in sexual harassment. This is simply an explanation of why I am not surprised by the recent revelations, and why I think almost all men of my age or older have a propensity to sexually harass women.

“Nothing that I have to say should be construed as an excuse for the behavior. No one should read this and feel any sympathy for men who have engaged in sexual harassment.”

I was born in 1957. My parents that raised me were married in 1939. My Dad was twenty years old, and my mother was fifteen…on the day she married. That was not typical; however, older men marrying younger women, even girls, was not uncommon, and during my childhood years, almost every Mom was a housewife.

As a child of the 1960’s, the idea that the man was dominant over a woman was not even questioned. Women were created to please men. The mindset was, women should not be overtly sexual and modest; therefore, it was the man’s place to initiate sexual actions. There was no formal instruction about initiating sexual intention with women, it was just expected that boys would learn as they go.

It was blatantly obvious to me, and probably most men my age, that power and wealth made men sexually attractive, and that women craved men who boldly took the initiative, so they didn’t have to pretend that they didn’t want sex. One way to win over a woman was to be in a position of power, and create a situation where the woman could submit to them.

“…that power and wealth made men sexually attractive, and that women craved men who boldly took the initiative, so they didn’t have to pretend that they didn’t want sex.”

The problem was, it worked. In hindsight, it didn’t work because the myth of women secretly wanting sex was true, it worked because the intimidation of a powerful man, and because most fell into the belief that it was a societal norm. Until I was in my late 20’s, the concept of sexual harassment was not even recognized as a problem in the workplace. A man marrying a subordinate was commonplace.

During my adult years, the development of workplace training began to take hold, and one of the primary topics became sexual harassment training. I, and most other men, were told that we had to be careful how we handled ourselves in the workplace, but that seemed to be focused on the workers, not so much on the executives.

When an issue of sexual harassment did come up with someone in management, companies hushed it up “to protect the woman,” and often the woman was given some type of compensation and moved out of the situation. In the business world, the human resources department enabled men to sexual harass women by treating it as an embarrassment for the company that needed to be dealt with internally, without law enforcement involvement.

There is no excuse for my behavior, nor the behavior of white men my age. In part, the problem is born of myths that are created in the absence of discussion and awareness of sex. Young boys will believe what other young boys will tell them when reliable information isn’t available.

We have to stop pretending that sex is only for married adults, and prior to marriage sex isn’t supposed to happen. Abstinence is an abomination to human interaction, and people who promote that idea don’t realize the damage they are doing to our society. Sex is not taboo or should it be embarrassing to discuss. It is a natural function of life.

We also have to stop letting companies deal with sexual harassment issues. Profit, public relations, and efficient operation of the business have no place in how a workplace sexual harassment issue is resolved.

“Profit, public relations, and efficient operation of the business have no place in how a workplace sexual harassment issue is resolved.”

Finally, I apologize to any woman who feels I have offended and/or been sexually inappropriate with. There is no excuse.

The Self Destruction of the Caucasian Race

16 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Crime, Ethics, genealogy, Generational, Government, Health, Higher Education, History, Lessons of Life, Politics, Public Image, Public Relations, racism, Religion, Respect, Taxes, US History

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Caucasian, DNA, DNA testing, Donald Trump, Immigration, KKK, Mike Pence, race, racism, racists, Republicans, Trump, white culture

My DNA analysis from Ancestry.com

Ninety-eight percent (98%) of my DNA comes from Europe. While the term ‘Caucasian‘ refers to a race from a larger region than just Europe, I am about as Caucasian as one can be on this planet.Caucasians have done many great things. Our history is rich with progressive development of our society. In a relatively short period, my race has moved from tribal societies to rich urban cities where many people from other regions of the world come to live and work.

KKK Then

While my race does not dominate the world in art, literature, philosophy, mathematics, or science, we have made major contributions in all these areas.

But now, I am embarrassed by the people of my race. My culture was the key to electing a President and a political party that is overtly trying to erase centuries of advancements in society, like fair working conditions and fair wages, and healthcare is for everyone.

KKK Now

My culture has traditionally led the way in limiting the corruption and greed that is inherent in business. My culture has often avoided the mistakes of other countries where governments fail to regulate and control unethical business practices of private corporations.

 

Today, my culture is ready to sacrifice this planet for our children and our children’s children so that energy companies can employ a handful of rural people. And each one of those jobs hand down less to each subsequent generation.

Caucasians proud of their stupidity

There is a price that my culture will have to pay for their stupidity. We could be embracing people from all cultures and solving all the world’s problems together. Instead, my culture is tearing apart families of other races and throwing them out of the country. Building walls and cancelling the economic treaties that have brought new prosperity and virtually ended wars.

This is not amusing or smart. My culture will pay a price. Yes, the smallest minds of my culture have won the day in the belief that they are invincible, but they are digging a hole in which the rest of us will be buried.

The God Store: There’s A God for That

16 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Ethics, Generational, Lessons of Life, Opinion, parenting, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Respect

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Catholic, Christians, Faith, God, Heaven, Hell, Methodist, Muslim, Protestant, religiolositical, religion

god-storeLooking for answers of purpose of life? 

Don’t understand the trials and the strife? 

Relax, you need to wander no more.  

We have what you seek at our local God store.

Need a God that is kind, wise and caring? 

Or one vengeful, wrathful, and worth fearing? 

Our Gods have it all, we’re where it’s at 

Name your desire because there’s a God for that 

A God to worship only on Sunday? 

Or one on your dash as you go down the highway?

Let your God be at home, work, or school

Our store perfects the religiositical fool 

In church your God will look like the others

So you can pretend you’re all sisters and brothers

Need a God that looks only like you?  

We have Him, and His blond-haired son too 

We have one for each hook, line, and sinner  

You pick the one that feels like a personal winner 

Need the God that is from a Bible? 

More precise please, the text is too tribal 

A God that hates all abortions and gays? 

No problem, we even throw in Jose

Need to put a woman in her place?

Not that original, but okay, how about race?

Want a God that loves only Caucasians?

We have a God for every skin persuasion

Need a God that takes care of the rich?

This is the place, your God’s your bitch.

You don’t believe in any God you say?

You’re not normal and you should go away.

For the faithful we have God to sell

We’re going to heaven, you’re going to Hell

Still, we feel compelled for something to do,

So, we’ll be condescending and pray for you

Familius Interruptus: Lessons of a DNA Shocker

29 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Branding, Communication, Ethics, genealogy, Generational, Health, History, Honor, Internet, Lessons of Life, parenting, Politics, Privacy, Relationships, Respect, Science, Technology, Women

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Ancestry.com, Barrick, bastard, birth certificate, Birthdays, boys, Colorado, deception, Depue, DNA, DNA testing, Family, family histoy, father, genealogy, Kiser, lying, mother, Warner

My Dad, and my Mother
My Dad, and my Mother
The Kiser Family in 1957
The Kiser Family in 1957

Last week I became one of ‘those’ people. 

Researching genealogy has relied on family stories, written diaries, and documents. Now it has the truth. DNA. DNA doesn’t lie, it just gives you the facts. Unbiased, unwavering, insensitive facts.

People talk about the dangers of using DNA to research genealogy. DNA might reveal that the stories, diaries, and documents sometimes lie. Sometimes, even a birth certificate lies because the people who created it were there for the birth, not the conception.

On 23 January 2017, I became one of those people who found out that the DNA test disproved everything I had been led to believe about who I was, and to what family I belonged. I found out that the man who raised me as his son, was not my father.

_dsc0018-2Six decades ago, my mother became pregnant with a man known to her and our family. I was born in December of that year. I looked enough like my mother, that it probably wasn’t too difficult to sell the idea that I was the legitimate child of my father. In addition, the man we believe to be my father was tragically killed in an accident when I was five, so I didn’t really have a chance to interact with him as I grew up.

If it were not for the DNA test, I would have never known…until one of my children took a DNA test. Truth can be relentless.

What Do You Say to the Half-Son?
The news was unreal, then surreal, then it got strange. There is no way to describe how it feels to have a fundamental truth about yourself suddenly proven wrong. The displacement of my reality was not a sudden shock, but a creeping wave of unrest and confusion.

Some people might have been hesitant to share this information with others. Those people hate me. I’m not a private or secretive person, and after I realized that I had lived a lie for almost sixty years, I was determined to end the secret as quickly as possible.

Most of the immediate family members of both families have passed away, so other than ‘honor’ of both families, and the memories of the people involved, this was a matter that impacted me and my children. While trying to be sensitive to both families, I posted the news on Facebook.

Mostly, the reaction was stunned silence. I found out later that many people had read the post, but what do you say to someone in my position? I’m willing to bet even Hallmark doesn’t have a card for this situation.

The reaction was typically positive and supportive. There was a suggestion that the DNA test might be wrong, and a couple of people began suggesting that the affair might not have been consensual. I gave a terse response to one of those comments and deleted it.

Who Knew?
One of the first questions that occurred to me was, “Who knew, and when did they know it.” It is somewhat of a pointless exercise because most people have passed on, and those still alive who may have known are not likely to implicate themselves in the deception.

I am confident my mother knew, or strongly suspected I was not her husband’s child. Several reactions and responses to questions about my family history seemed indicate she was deliberately vague and at times, almost disruptive to my research.

Among the most obvious oddities was her insistence that my fraternal grandfather was half to three quarters Native American. This was almost always followed by a reference that my coloring, (brown hair, brown eyes, and dark complexion) was Native American. The last time she made this reference, my brother had already proven that as far back to 1803, and beyond there was no Native American blood in the Kiser or Warner family.

The Brutality of Deception
Deception is an insidious malady. The bigger the deception, the more it infects a person’s sense of well being. I can’t imagine what my mother experienced during a lifetime of keeping this deception going, especially when the man who was most likely my real father died. His sudden death, mixed with the probability he was my father, could not have created a more chaotic mix of emotions for my mother.

As I became an adult I tried to analyze my mother and father’s relationship. It was clear that they were not in a positive emotional relationship. To me it felt more like they were performing the expected roles, but not with any emotional connection. It’s possible that was their behavior around me, but I suspect it was noticed by others.

My interactions with my mother were typically civil, but I would never have considered them warm. I don’t think she treated my brothers any different. That was who she was as a mother.

However, now I have to wonder if she saw me as the child that added complications in her life. Did my presence create a psychological conflict within her? Did she fear that other people might have known and were talking behind her back?

Moving Forward
I can’t imagine what would have happened if the truth would have come out when I was a child, and perhaps it was best for everyone that it didn’t come out, but the collateral damage of maintaining a deception likely affected my mother’s relationships with my father, with the family, and with me. I am disturbed that she didn’t respect me enough to tell me at some point. To deny me the truth was unfair to me and my children.

The lesson of this is that deception can be as destructive as the truth. My mother may have believed she escaped the consequences of her situation by lying and maintaining that lie, but I don’t believe she did. I think she created a hole in her life, and now a lot of people are falling in that hole. 

But now it is time to move forward. It is strange, but my last name feels like I am lying every time I say it. I feel I have to say, “My name is Paul Kiser, but actually I’m not a Kiser by blood.” I don’t think I’ll do that when I go through immigration next week, but still, the impulse is there.

Fortunately, my children, and the children of the other family are intrigued by the new family history. As offsetting as this is in the old world of hiding shame and embarrassment, the new world doesn’t end when someone’s decades old indiscretions come to light.

And this is where the story begins. 

A Prayer To My Gods

18 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Ethics, Generational, Government, Lessons of Life, Politics, Pride, Religion, solar

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Donald Trump, Earth, GOP, holy, Moon, prayer, Republicans, Sun, Trump, winter solstice

_dsc6558-2Great Father Sun, you are the origin, the center, the focus, you are the constant. I see you as you cross the sky. I feel your warmth. You make the food grow and all life possible. Without you, we could not see. Without you, there would be no rain. When you light the sky above me, I see your power. At night you shine on our Mother Moon. 

Great Mother Earth, you are our source, our foundation, the root of all life on our planet. You give me a home. You give me air to breath, water to drink, and food to eat. You give me all that I need. Without you I would be dust and rock floating in the vast cavity of space.

_dsc6362-2Mother Moon, you are the giver of life. You are the spark that lit the fire of life on Earth. Your touch tilted the Great Mother Earth and gave us seasons. Your pull creates the tides. Without you, the Great Mother Earth would be uninhabitable.

I pray forgiveness for what we have done. I believe that you sought to have us progress forward, moving from beasts that were motivated by lust and desire, to creatures of intelligence and compassion that sought harmony and grace.

Instead we have devolved back into beasts. We have brought on shame and failure to not only ourselves, but to all life. We have no excuse. We know what is proper, and what is not, but we have chosen to embrace the improper.

Great Father Sun, Great Mother Earth, Mother Moon, I know the seasons are necessary for life, and I know, just as the seasons bring warmth in the summer and cold in the winter, so to the seasons of humanity wax and wane.

This is a season of darkness for humanity, but I pray that you will intercede. The darkness of this season is hurting and killing the innocent, not the weak. Those of money and power seek to destroy, not build, and those who gave them power have failed as human beings and celebrate the destruction.

Intercede for those who need you. Intercede for the honor of life. Intercede because it is the correct thing to do. Intercede because those who have intelligence know the danger of violent aggression and know that it is not the answer to battle the unethical, wicked, and stupid.

Great Father Sun, Great Mother Earth, Mother Moon, it is time to act on our behalf. 

The Ugly Side of Annual Vacations with the Extended Family

15 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Generational, Health, Lessons of Life, Respect, Travel

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Family, family time, family vacations, leisure time, parenting, Travel

But you like to be with my family!

If I had a British pound for every time that was said regarding the annual extended family vacation, I would have less than what I had a month ago…but that’s another story.

_DSC3743 (2)The annual extended family vacation. I’m not talking about the vacation where you and your spouse plan to go to a new and different place every year with your children. That activity has its own stresses and issues, but is usually a healthy activity for those involved. What I’m talking about is when one person or one family decides to go to the same place every year, and others are expected to join them.

_DSC4389 (2)

Often it starts with a family having a traditional summer vacation to the same place with their children, but as the children become adults, they may stop going on the annual vacation.

However, after they marry and begin their own families, they are invited to rejoin the annual family vacation, with an expectation that the spouses will become part of their annual pilgrimage. For a few years it may be a fun event, something to look forward to each summer, but then the event becomes more important than any other vacation that doesn’t involve the extended family. Vacations become determined by bloodlines, not along family lines.

Alternate vacation ideas, or visits to relatives that aren’t of the bloodline of the family of origin become a lower priority. Everyone is expected to preserve and protect the big event. After so many times of going to the same place with another family, or families, one may begin to feel that they’re tagging along on someone else’s vacation. Once in the situation, you can only be the bad person if you refuse to go.

There are always great reasons for extended families to get together occasionally. It is an opportunity to reclaim family ties, and share time together. Going for a week or more on trip with a group of people can be fun; however, committing two or more families to an annual vacation, to the destination determined by one family says something about the nature of the relationship of one family over another. 

However, vacations that are determined by one family, or one side of the family, year after year after year, are about control. At some point an adult child has to decide whether their commitment is to their family of origin, or to their own family. 

Moffat County, Colorado: Story of Two Families (Part III-Another Radiator Springs)

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, College, Education, Generational, Government, History, Lessons of Life, The Tipping Point, Travel, US History

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Barrick, Colorado, Colorado Street, Craig, Family, Frances Barrick, genealogy, Kiser, Maybell, Mike Kiser, Vernon Kiser

1940’s-Kiser/Barrick Merger
By 1939, both the Barrick and Kiser family had established themselves in Moffat County. The original two families had lived in northwestern Colorado for over two decades and the children born there were now old enough to start their own families. Vernon, the oldest son of the Kiser family and Frances, the eldest daughter of the Barrick family married on October 29, 1939. Both were first generation natives of Moffat County.

Vernon and Frances Kiser

Vernon and Frances Kiser

To support themselves, Vernon took jobs wherever he could in the 1940’s. He and Frances moved several times around northwestern Colorado to be where the work took them. World War II had little impact on Vernon and Frances as he had broken his arm as a child and it failed to heal properly.

His disqualification to join the military was a blessing as he became a father in 1945. Kenneth Clyde was born on July 10, and by that time Vernon had settled into a career as a heavy equipment operator. In 1949, Vernon began working for Henderson Construction where he would remain for the next 22 years.

However, World War II did have an impact on other members of the Kiser and Barrick family. Vernon’s brothers, Loren and Hubert Kiser and, the brother of Frances, George Jr. and two of her brother-in-laws, Lewis Hurlburt and Ed Annon served in the military during the war. All survived the war, but they, and their families, all relocated outside of Moffat County after they returned.

1950-70 The Hahn’s Peak Years
Vernon’s work with Henderson Construction was largely with a small mining company. One of their mining claims was Hahn’s Peak in nearby Routt County. The idea was that because gold had been found in a radius around the extinct volcano, perhaps there were veins of gold in the mountain. For many years Vernon was employed to build and maintain roads on Hahn’s Peak for the mining operations on the mountain. Almost all of the roads on Hahn’s Peak were carved out by Vernon.

Hahn's Peak - Roads by Vernon Kiser

Hahn’s Peak – Roads by Vernon Kiser

Vernon and Frances had three more boys during his tenure with Henderson Construction. Michael Warner was born in 1950, Roy Dean was born in 1953, and Paul Alan was born in 1957.

Because Hahn’s Peak was about an hour and a half from Craig, Vernon lived in a trailer house at the base of the Hahn’s Peak during the week. During the summer when school was out the family would join their Dad and live at the camp for the summer. Once a week Frances and the boys would come into town to wash clothes, shop, and maintain the yard at the house, then head back to Hahn’s Peak.

1960-80 677 Colorado Street
Much of the Barrick family had moved out of Moffat County during the 1940’s and 50’s; however, the Vernon and Frances built a home at 677 Colorado Street in Craig, and From 1958 until 1978, that house was the anchor of the Kiser family. All their boys attended school in Craig, played sports, and graduated from Moffat County High School while living in that house.

The Kiser Family in 1957

The Kiser Family in 1957 at the new house, 677 Colorado Street

Henderson Construction closed it’s doors in 1972, and eventually Vernon took a job at the Moffat County Road Department where he moved up to the Assistant Road Supervisor. By 1976, all of their boys had graduated and left Craig, so Vernon and Frances decided to move to Great Divide and manage one of the county’s remote road maintenance stations.

Of their four boys, Mike Kiser was the only one who returned to northwest Colorado to stay. He was a helicopter mechanic for the Army and was stationed in Germany. After his tour of duty he worked a couple of years as a mechanic for the City of Sandy, Utah. Mike married a woman he met in Utah and they moved back to Craig. In 1975, they had a daughter, Carey.

In Craig, he took a job with the Moffat County Road Department and later became a member of Craig’s volunteer fire department. Unfortunately, while Mike was in his 30’s he was stricken with a hereditary autoimmune disorder that put him in the hospital for weeks at a time and he had to stop working. Eventually, Mike moved out to Maybell where he lived for the rest of his life.

1980’s to 2015-End of an Era
Craig’s story is similar to the story of Radiator Springs in Disney’s fictional town in the animated movie Lightning McQueen, Craig is the town that saw its glory days when U.S. Highway 40 was the best route between Denver and Salt Lake City. Once Interstates 70 and 80 were built, Craig became more isolated even though the two-lane highway is shortest route between the two major cities.

For a person graduating from Moffat County High School, Craig’s career opportunities are limited and the community can’t absorb 100 new job seekers every June. A diploma for many graduates is an order to work for the family business, a signal to scramble to find a local job, or a ticket to pack and leave northwestern Colorado.

Since the Barrick family emigrated to Moffat County in 1913, at least 24 Kiser/Barrick family members lived in northwestern Colorado. By 1990 there were only five members living in the county. The rest left the area for military service, college, better jobs, or just to discover other places. 

The family members still living in Moffat County were Vernon and Frances Kiser, Mike Kiser, Virginia Barrick Hurlburt (sister of Frances,) and George Dean Jr. (brother of Frances.) Vernon had retired from the Road Department and he and Frances purchased a small ranch on the Yampa River west of Maybell. Mike Kiser and Frances’ sister, Virginia Hurlbert, also moved out to Maybell. The five survivors of the Kiser/Barrick family were all natives of Moffat County.

For several years Vernon and Frances enjoyed the return to life on a ranch until Vernon began having health problems. Vernon, the first child of the Kiser/Barrick clan to be born in Moffat County, died at Craig Memorial Hospital in 1996. He was 77. Virginia died in Maybell in 2004. She was 76. George Dean Jr. died in Craig two years later. He was 84. Frances, the last of the first generation of homesteader’s children died at her home in Maybell in 2008. She was also 84.

Michael Warner Kiser 1950-2015

Michael Warner Kiser 1950-2015

After his mother’s death, Mike Kiser remained at the home west of Maybell. He had been married twice, but he had been single for most of the last half of his life. Although he lived with chronic pain, he had been feeling healthier lately. Local people had seen him taking long walks near his home on Highway 318. He had been out on Thursday, November 19, 2015, but no one had seen him since. His brother, Roy, tried to call him on the weekend and when he couldn’t get ahold of Mike he asked the Moffat County Sheriff’s Department to check up on him. They found him dead of a heart attack in his home.

The Kiser/Barrick family line in Moffat County

The Kiser/Barrick family line in Moffat County

Mike’s passing ended a century of the Kiser/Barrick family in Moffat County. The Kisers and the Barricks that were born and raised in northwestern Colorado weren’t really noteworthy. None of them ran for political office, none of them were high-profile citizens, and rarely did you see their names in the local papers. They attended the local schools, worked at local jobs, were involved in sports in high school, and they quietly raised families.

This July the Kiser and Barrick families will come together at Hahn’s Peak to say goodbye to Mike, and say goodbye to our home in northwestern Colorado.

ALSO:  Part I – Pre-Homesteading

ALSO: Part II – Two Family’s Destiny Unfolds

Moffat County, Colorado: Story of Two Families (Part I Pre-Homesteading)

10 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Paul Kiser in Generational, History, Lessons of Life, Relationships

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Barrick, cattle ranching, Colorado, Craig, Family, genealogy, History, Kiser, mining, Moffat, Moffat County, northwestern Colorado, population, railroads, Steamboat Springs

On or about November 20, 2015, Michael Warner Kiser died in his home of a heart attack. He was 65. His death marked the end of a century of Kiser/Barrick family history in Moffat County. This is the story of those families.

Early Northwestern Colorado
To understand northwestern Colorado it is important to know the context of the political and cultural history that shaped its destiny. Until 1847, northwestern Colorado was part of northeastern Mexico. In that year the Mexican Government signed the Treaty of Hidalgo Guadalupe at gunpoint after losing the Mexican American War. Colorado did not become a State until 1876 and Moffat County did not exist until 1911. 

In 1847, Mexico was forced to relinquish all of Northern Mexico to the United States.

In 1847, Mexico was forced to relinquish all of northern Mexico to the United States, including what would become northwestern Colorado.

While Native Americans, primarily the Ute Indians thrived in northwestern Colorado, the opinions of early European explorers in the late 1700’s and 1800’s about the value of the area were not kind. In 1844, John C. Fremont said the country was nearly worthless. In 1869, John Wesley Powell came to the same conclusion, holding out that with massive irrigation the area might produce crops, but there wasn’t enough water.

In the 1860’s gold had been discovered in the mountain creeks west of Denver and men fanned out into the Rockies. In 1865, a group of men found small quantities of gold around an extinct volcano in northwestern Colorado. The primary discoverer, Joseph Hahn was apparently betrayed by one of his partners who left him and another man in the field while he allegedly was off to get supplies. He never returned and Hahn died in an attempt to reach civilization in April of 1867. The extinct volcano was named Hahn’s Peak in honor of him.

Hahn's Peak and the town after the Gold Rush

Hahn’s Peak and the town 40 years after the gold rush

Mining continued to expand in the late 1860’s in northwestern Colorado, but the lack of significant ore deposits and lack of access to and from the area brought an end to the fickle growth created by prospectors.

Farther west in the high desert of northwestern Colorado, Native Americans, primarily the Utes, maintained their traditional nomadic lifestyle; however, some western Europeans sought to retrain the indigenous people and make them adopt the western culture. The effort created conflict between the Native Americans and the caucasian invaders. In 1879, a minor incident of shoving an agent, Nathan Meeker, led to him requesting troops be sent to the area. Ultimately, both sides lost control of the situation and a U.S. Army detachment was attacked resulting in 50 men wounded or killed. An outcry for ‘justice’ led to the 1881 relocation of all Ute Indians from their Colorado lands into Utah. This opened the door for Congress to declare the vacated lands open to homesteading in 1882.

As the Utes were moved out, the cattle ranchers moved in. This created a pressing need for better transportation to the area to ship cattle to Denver; however, a centralized gathering point had to be established to move cattle in and out of the area and many of the existing towns lacked the geographic qualifications needed as a cattle and transportation center.

In the late 1880’s, the founding of Steamboat Springs created a target for those who sought to create a transportation link to northwestern Colorado. It also had the benefit of being near the Oak Creek area where new coal deposits were discovered.

Almost simultaneously, the inflow of homesteaders coming from the Denver side of the Rocky Mountains created the need to build roads and rail lines over the high altitudes and steep terrain of the Continental Divide, but the challenges would take years.

The

The railroad challenge was to build a mountain railway that would access all points west.

It would not be until 1909, that the railroad would reach to Steamboat Springs, and almost overnight Steamboat Springs became the largest cattle transportation center in the country. Had the railroad ended in Steamboat Springs, the town might have become twice as large and hindered the growth of any other communities in northwestern Colorado, but the plan for the railroad had never been to end in a community just on the other side of the Rocky Mountains.

Knowing the railroad was coming farther west, William H. Tucker established a townsite about 40 miles west of Steamboat Springs. One of his primary financial backers was Reverend William Bayard Craig, and so he named the town Craig. The first census of Craig in 1910 was only 392 people; however, with the completion of the railroad to Craig in 1913, the town would triple in size by the 1920 census to 1,297 citizens.

Population growth of northwestern Colorado

Population growth of northwestern Colorado

In 1911, the State legislature created Moffat County by carving out the western two-thirds of Routt County and made the three year-old town of Craig the new county seat. Growth in Steamboat Springs flatlined for decades after Craig and Moffat County were established and even with the development of one of the nation’s premier ski areas in 1963, Steamboat Springs remained Craig’s junior until the late 1990’s.

Two years after Moffat County was established, the Barrick family came to homestead. Five years after that the first Kiser family would follow them. That would begin a century of intertwining history of these two families that would end with the death of Michael Kiser in 2015.

NEXT: Part II – Two Family’s Destiny Unfolds

ALSO:  Part III – Another Radiator Springs

The Joy of No

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, Club Leadership, College, Communication, Consulting, Crisis Management, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Education, Employee Retention, Ethics, Generational, Government, Higher Education, Honor, Human Resources, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Membership Recruitment, Membership Retention, Passionate People, Politics, Pride, Public Image, Public Relations, Re-Imagine!, Relationships, Respect, Rotary, Social Interactive Media (SIM), Social Media Relations, The Tipping Point, Tom Peters, Universities

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bosses, committees, dictators, Human Interaction, meetings, No, organizations, Social Interaction, workplace

_DSC1990No is a perfectly acceptable answer….providing,

  • The idea or suggestion lacked thought or had no basis in fact. (e.g.; Would Donald Trump be a good President?)
  • The idea or suggestion has obvious flaws. (e.g.; Should we let a gun be in a room with a bunch of 2nd grade children?)
  • Is a matter of personal opinion or seeks personal approval. (e.g.; Would you go out with me?)

But when an idea or suggestion doesn’t fall under any of these categories, the “no” answer becomes a potential weapon of personal destruction for the person saying it, and a beautiful opportunity for the person on the receiving end.

Being the youngest of four boys, my brothers and parents became accustomed to telling me ‘no.’ I was constantly asking questions and making suggestions, and the ‘yes’ answer was likely to encourage me. In those situations where I actually had a good idea, it was enough that as the youngest member of the family, a ‘no’ answer was valid.

As an adult, I never had any expectations that my ideas and suggestions would be better received, so hearing ‘no’ was an irritation, but I accepted it as part of life.

However, I as grew older I noticed that some people seemed to enjoy telling other people ‘no.’ Often these people were in leadership positions and their tactic was to dominate and/or intimidate others. In some cases people would act as a dictator within the organization, silencing the ideas and opinions of others with a type of ‘no’ answer that implied dire consequences if the person didn’t drop the subject, or the idea was treated so lightly as if the person was unintelligent for making the suggestion. For years I thought that part of being a good manager was to have the privilege and responsibility to tell others, “NO!” 

Then several years ago I joined a service club and became very involved in the organization. I served on several Boards and committees. I discovered that I could manipulate some people because I always knew their response to whatever I suggested would be, ‘no.’

It was then I realized that when someone says ‘no,’ it is a gift. The “No-ee” has done all they are required by making the suggestion or asking the question. The “No-er” has put their reputation and respectability on the line. The ‘no’ answer gives them all the responsibility, and, as a situation plays out, their failure to consider someone else’s idea or suggestion may be the fatal decision that brings them down.

I still find enjoyment of sometimes asking a perfectly legitimate question of someone I know will give me a ‘no’ answer. It is even more interesting to do this when I have more information about the issue or situation than they do and they can’t help but give me an answer that will eventually haunt them.

Still, I have learned that organizations and relationships with ‘no’ people are typically doomed. There’s a time to experience the joy of ‘no,’ and then there are times it’s best to walk away and shake the dust off your sandals.

The Quality of Respect

04 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Customer Relations, Customer Service, Employee Retention, Ethics, Human Resources, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Membership Retention, Politics, Public Relations, Relationships, Respect

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Depth of Relationships, Friendship, Human Interaction, listening, negative relationships, positive relationships

Respect determines the quality of relationships

Respect determines the quality of relationships

I have had a few instances of being told I was right. These typically come years after the fact when the acknowledgement is almost meaningless regarding the original idea, issue, or choice. The irony is that the issue discussed years ago is irrelevant, but how the person responded to my idea or concern established the quality of our relationship.

Years of interactions with people through work, social, and personal experiences has taught me that relationships are defined by the quality of respect the two people have for each other. Communication is about sharing information and being correct or not about an issue is secondary to the quality of the relationship. We are not taught that in school, but it is something learned as patterns develop with the people in our social circles.

The way a person responds to our ideas and concerns defines the quality of respect they have for who we are as a person, and that defines the relationship.

Dismissive Response
A dismissive response is the lowest form of respect to a person. Adults often are dismissive of children, and that is a valid description of the relationship between two adults when one is dismissive or condescending to another person. The classic, “Let’s just agree to disagree” is a great example of a dismissive response. If this is happening in a work relationship it means that your value to that person is nonexistent and that you should be seeking a different work environment.

In a personal relationship it means that you are a pet or child to the person and you should take action to get them out of your life. Once a person treats you as an inferior, others will model that and everyone around you will devalue your relationship with them.

Deflective Response
The next lowest form of respect is when someone is deflective or derogatory to you when you express concern about an issue. This behavior can be recognized by responses that begin with or include the following:

“You’ve always disliked. ..” or “You don’t know for sure that…” or “Here you go again…”

The point here is that the person is not responding to your concern, just devaluing you and anything you have to say. It is a close cousin to a dismissive response, but the person feels a need to answer your concern, even though the answer is actually an insult to your intelligence.

Illogical Response
Another close relative of the Dismissive Response is the Illogical Response. It is the type of response that has the appearance of a discussion of two people who mutually respect each other; however, the response is often a desperate attempt to suggest Point A is negated by Point B, but in reality Point A has nothing to do with Point B.

An example of this is if Ryan is saying that a school’s quality is on the decline because some of the best teachers in a school are leaving and Barbara counters by saying the school has a great reputation for the quality of education. Barbara’s argument is based on past performance, but Evan’s argument is talking about current and future performance.

Respectful Discussion
The hallmark of any valid discussion is the respect the people involved have for each other. When both people respect each other every attempt will be made to reach a reasonable solution because the relationship is more important than the argument.

Finally, when someone comes back to you years after a discussion and tells you that you were correct, it really is about admitting the lack of respect they had for you, and they are attempting to recognize their error. Never assume that they have found a new respect for you because respect is not a quality that returns once it has been lost.

Why Blog? Why Not? Six Reasons

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Branding, Communication, Generational, Health, Information Technology, Internet, Lessons of Life, Passionate People, Photography, Public Image, Public Relations, Social Interactive Media (SIM), Social Media Relations, Technology

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art, Blog, Blogging, expression, self awareness, thoughts, writer, writing

Why Blog?

Because it’s there.

Blogging is the sand castle of writing, but waves don't wash it away

Blogging is the sand castle of writing, but waves don’t wash it away

  1. Blogging is not a path to fame or fortune. If you think people are going to hang on your every blog post, you will likely be disappointed. If you think your blog is going to change the world, you will likely be disappointed. If you think people are going to pay you to write, you will likely be disappointed.
  2. Blogging is the opportunity to write. Like dance, or acting, or painting, blogging is a creative art. The more you write, the better your skills. The more skilled, the more satisfying.
  3. Blogging is expression. It is a public diary that exposes who you are and what you think. If you try to be someone you’re not, you likely will be embarrassed.
  4. Blogging is long term. If your measure of success is the number of readers who read yesterday’s blog, you probably shouldn’t blog. The Internet is a library and Google is the librarian. Five years from now someone may search for information and discover your blog is exactly what they needed. That is success. Remember, your blog is one among billions, but time is without measure.
  5. Blogging is about legacy. Your children’s children will have the opportunity to get to know you through your blog. It will expose them to your mind and your passions. Somewhere down the ancestry line will be a grandchild or great-grandchild who thinks exactly like you, and they will treasure the opportunity to get to know themselves through your writing.
  6. Blogging is about finding yourself. Writing down our internal discussions can be revealing. We may not fully understand our values and who we are until it comes back to us in our own words.

Most people cannot fathom why anyone would blog, but if you blog, you are not ‘most people.’ That alone should reassure you of the value of blogging.

Free Range Parenting: How to Say I Don’t Love You

03 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Crime, Ethics, Generational, Lessons of Life, parenting, Politics, Relationships

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Alexander, Child Development, Danielle, Dvora, free range parents, free-range parenting, Maryland, Meitiv, Rafi

Abandoning a child does teach a lesson: Parent's don't care

Abandoning a child does teach a lesson: Parent’s don’t care

The parent always correct. That is the basis of free-range parenting. The idea that a parent should be allowed to do whatever they want, including nothing, with their children.

I grew up in rural northwestern Colorado. The idea of ‘free-range’ is common in farming communities where it refers to animals. It means the rancher allows his animals to roam on open land, usually federal land and expends minimal personal resources on the care and maintenance of his or her livestock until it’s time to round them up for sale. The expectation is that some of the animals will be lost to predators, but the money saved by not feeding and watering them is worth the risk.

In parenting, ‘free-range’ is applied to the children of the mother and father. The concept is that children of almost any age will mature faster as unsupervised survivalists than under the care and monitoring of an adult. It is as stupid as it sounds.

Rafi and Dvora Meitiv: Children with a lack of parenting

This idea gained national awareness when Rafi, a ten-year-old boy, and Dvora his six-year-old sister were picked up by law enforcement when they were reported to be unsupervised about a mile from home. They are children of Danielle and Alexander Meitiv who believe that their children should be allowed to roam free on streets and in parks in order to learn the lessons that life offers. The parents have been charged with child neglect.

The real issue with free-range parenting is not one of parenting style. Parenting style requires that you actually take the responsibility to be a parent, which free-range parents don’t. Free-range parenting can be compared to having something of infinite value entrusted to someone, for which they go to the back door and throw it as far away has possible.

The critical issue with free-range parenting is assuming that children are born with an automatic sense of right and wrong. They are not. Children learn good behavior and they learn it from the human examples around them. Left on their own, many children experiment with cruelty and seek to satisfy baser desires, especially when one child is older and/or stronger than another child.

Parents have to constantly guide children to understand the concepts of boundaries, respect, kindness, responsibility, and humility. Often children battle against parents when told that certain behaviors and/or actions are not acceptable, but as a child matures they begin to understand that parents are acting out of love in teaching proper social behavior. They understand this, often because they see other people around them who lacked proper parental supervision and who are social failures as an adult.

A free-range parent is also setting themselves up for failure. The child will soon discover that the more they stay away from the parents, the less hassle they will experience, so the detach themselves emotionally from the parent. Once a child has found the parent to be irrelevant the opportunity for the parent to offer advice and guidance is lost forever.

J. K. Rowling: The Unexpected Author

13 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Book Review, College, Communication, Education, Ethics, Fiction, Generational, Higher Education, Honor, Information Technology, Internet, Lessons of Life, Opinion, parenting, Passionate People, Public Relations, Science Fiction, Traditional Media, Universities, Women

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books, Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling, Jo Rowling, Joanne Rowling, library, Literaray, readership, reading

jkr-photo_new_debra-hurford-brown-j.k.-rowling

Jo Rowling A.K.A: J. K. Rowling

This week my son’s Elementary school is engaged in a venture into the world of Harry Potter. The teachers of 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades have divided the students into the four Houses of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is an opportunity to look back on the single person who created a series of fictional children’s books that revitalized reading for millions of people of all ages.

Any story of great personal success is characterized by being the correct person, in the correct place, at the correct time. That is a requirement. The story of J. K. Rowling is more compelling for why she was the correct person.

Her birth name is Joanne Rowling and she uses “Jo” in casual environments. She has no given middle name but was asked by her publisher to disguise her name so that young boys would not know that Harry Potter was written by a woman. Since she had no middle name she used her grandmother’s name, ‘Kathleen,’ and thus became, “J. K. Rowling (her last name is pronounced, ‘rolling.’) 

Rowling accomplished the unthinkable. At a time when reading books was declining and the Internet was blossoming, the idea that one person could ignite a renaissance of book reading was considered absurd. Rowling’s first publisher told her to get a day job because writing children’s books would never provide enough income.

Like William Shakespeare, there is no significant indicator in Rowling’s pre-Potter life of her eventual rise to the top of the literary world. Still, there are earlier experiences that probably contributed to her success. Among them are the following:

  • Her parents met at King’s Cross Station in London, which became the fictional departure point for the fictional train station departure point to Hogwarts. [Potter influences]
  • As a child she was known to write out a story and read it to her sister, Dianne. [Early fiction writing]
  • Her mother, Anne, was a science technician and also taught science at the Secondary school that Rowling attended. [Priority of education]
  • She speaks English, French and studied German in Secondary school. [Broad-based education]
  • She read and is an admirer of Jessica Mitford, a British-turned-American journalist, author, and political activist. [Ethics, writing, and honor]
  • She has a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in French and the Classics from the University of Exeter. [Writing and knowledge]
  • She studied a year in Paris. [Broad-based education]
  • She taught English in Portugal [Life experience]
  • Her mother had multiple sclerosis (MS) and died while she was writing her first Harry Potter book. [Life experience]
  • Rowling suffered from depression triggered by several life events (Unemployed, her mother’s death, her divorce, etc.) [Life experience]Harry Potter Covers

The idea for Harry Potter apparently came in 1990, during a four-hour train delay to London. She began writing as soon as she reached home and among the first chapters written was the final chapter of the last book. The first book was not finished until 1995. It was submitted and rejected by twelve publishers before it was finally accepted by Bloomsbury Publishing in England the follow year. 

She went from living off of State benefits to a millionaire in five years. Since then, she has devoted a large portion of her fortune to philanthropic causes. 

Though remarkable, Rowling’s financial success is not as significant as what she did for slowing the decline of children reading for fun during the period her books were published (1996-2007.) According to a study by Common Sense Media, 9-year-olds reading for fun at least one to two per week dropped only one percent from 1984 to 2004; however, by 2012 that dropped by another four percent (76% in 2012.) For 13-year-olds the decline in reading for fun from 1984 to 2004, was six percent, but that decline nearly doubled five years after the last Harry Potter book was published (down an additional eleven percent in 2012 to 53%.) 

No one, including possibly Rowling, herself, could have expected anyone to capture a worldwide audience, as did the Harry Potter series. She brought new readers into the literary market that had no interest in reading. Her unexpected achievement is a reminder that what is possible extends beyond the impossible.  

This is Why (2015 vs the 1960’s)

15 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Business, College, Communication, Crisis Management, Education, Ethics, Generational, Government, Health, Higher Education, History, Lessons of Life, Politics, Public Image, Public Relations, Religion, Respect, Space, Taxes, Technology, Traditional Media, Universities, US History

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African American, Blacks, Civil Rights, Cold War, Communism, Inner City, JFK, John F. Kennedy, Richard M. Nixon, Riots, Russia, Selma, Soviet Union, space race, Suburban Life, Suburbs, USA, USSR, Vietnam, WIN

Note:  This series premise is that we tend to see today’s world based upon what we experienced in the past. Different generations have different experiences, which can lead to different perceptions of what is happening in today’s world.

In this article we look at the 1960’s. 

The 1960’s – The Three Americas

The Decade of the Roar

  • Population:  180.0 million
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP) per capita:  $16,986
  • Median Annual Income:  $5,600
  • Life Expectancy:  69.7
  • Average Age at Marriage:   Men 22.8, Women 20.3
  • % of pop. w/high school degree or higher:  41.1%
  • % of pop. w/college degree or higher:  7.7% 

AMERICA AS THE TECH AND COMMERCE GORILLA
The space race continued technological advancement for both the Soviet Union and the United States; however, USSR kept even the most simple advancements secret from everyone, including their own citizens. The space-related advancements for the United States were often generated by private contractors. The advancements that were not ‘Top Secret’ could be applied in open commerce and available to the private citizen. USSR didn’t lose the  Space Race when an American stepped on the Moon, they lost it when millions of Americans were able to buy consumer goods that incorporated technology generated by sending a human to the Moon.

This thrust America into the center of technological advancement in commerce. In addition to space technology, new super highways, power grids, and phone lines increased commerce. The capitalist system of “build only what we know will sell” was replaced with a new space age economy of “solve problems that no one ever thought of before.”

The downside of a growing economy is that when people have more money to spend, then greed steps up to take their money. It’s one thing for a business to raise their prices to cover additional costs, or to pay for improvements to their products or services, but when prices increased for the sake of greed, then worker wages must increase to help them pay for a higher cost of living. That was the root cause for the upward spiral of inflation in the 1960’s. 

AMERICA AS THE WORLD’s POLICE
Communist aggression and American pride clashed as China and Russia sought to halt the threat of bottom up government (self determinism) to their model of top down (power to the few.)  The space race was fueled by Russian moves to claim the ultimate higher ground. Russia, China, and the United States began winning over developing countries in a blatant attempt to win control of strategic regions around the world. Military might became a primary resource in diplomacy. Those who stood to make money through weapon development and sales were strong proponents of meeting aggression with aggression. Governments found that the concept of small wars as a means to prevent larger wars were more palatable to the public.

With the onset of smaller wars came the utilization of forcing young men into fighting wars, while those who made the decisions to fight went home to their families every night. The gap between those who sacrifice and those who benefit from war became crystal clear. Civil unrest across the nation against the Vietnam war created a split that was widely visible through national television news. America was no longer in a post-war honeymoon.

AMERICA FACING ITS OWN FAILINGS
The Civil War purchased an end to institutionalized slavery, but it didn’t end white domination of African-Americans. Societal tools to humiliate and dominate black people created a divided America based on skin color.

Determined to no longer be oppressed, African-Americans began to challenge white society. This caught many white Americans living in communities outside of the South by surprise. Meanwhile in the South, some white groups committed heinous crimes in an effort to derail any African-American challenge to the dual-class society that protected white supremacy. 

Few people fully understood how the United States of America could become so divided in the two decades following the World War II. Small town people sought simplistic solutions to issues for which they had very little understanding. The complexities leading to the chaos of the 1960’s were two much for a ‘Mayberry RFD’ mind.

With the boom in suburban living, the segregation of the races led to a flash point in many major cities. Whites choose to run away from inner city issues to live a sanitized life that sucked taxpayer money out of the neighborhoods that needed it the most. From the comfort of their new recliner in their new subdivision, white people embraced small-town thinking. Nuke Russia, nuke Vietnam, nuke Cuba, war protesters were just drugged out hippies, Blacks were responsible for their own failings, etc. were typical of positions of the 1960’s Caucasian.

NEXT:  The 1970’s

THE SERIES:  The 1950’s    The 1980’s    The 1990’s    The 2000’s    Epilogue

This is Why (2015 vs the 1950’s)

15 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Communication, Crisis Management, Education, Generational, Government, Higher Education, History, Lessons of Life, Politics, Pride, Science, Space, Technology, Traditional Media, US History

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1950, 1950's, post depression, post war, Space, space race, television

Why is the world like it is?

It is an interesting question. Unfortunately it is the wrong question. The world is what we perceive it to be and our perceptions are based largely on our experiences…or at least the experiences we tend to remember. This is why attitudes about the world are vastly different between generations. This doesn’t mean that age determines attitude, just that age contributes to attitude. 

So why do different generations tend to see the world differently?

The 1950’s – The Calm After the Storms

Mass Production of New Technology

  • Population:  151.3 million
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP) per capita:  $15,029
  • Median Annual Income:  $4,237
  •  Life Expectancy:  68.2
  • Average Age at Marriage:   Men 22.8, Women 20.3
  • % of pop. w/high school degree or higher:  34.3%
  • % of pop. w/college degree or higher:  6.2%

POST DEPRESSION, POST WAR

If you were an adult, you just survived through the most massive conflict in history. Millions died directly or indirectly because of the war. The United States of America was expected to fold after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Instead, Americans pulled off a miracle by sacrificing normal daily life for a united country at war.

With victory in World War II came a fierce pride, but nobody was ready to rush into another war anytime soon. Despite that, a growing fear of Russia’s aggression put everyone on edge that they might be plunged into even a more horrible war than the one they survived.

Children of the 1950’s were witnesses to a traumatized adult population. Their grandparents lived through the Great Depression where the unthinkable financial disaster became everyone’s reality. Both grandparents and parents survived World War II. An event that stopped normal living and put everyone under the shadow of death and fear. Children also became a victim of the Cold War where fear of a global extinction event was a real possibility.

NEW ECONOMY
The massive industrialization for World War II created new jobs, more money, and a sudden burst of growth in the economy. Companies grabbed up anyone with advanced training or knowledge to incorporate advancements in technology created during the crisis of the war. People suddenly could afford luxuries like televisions, phones, cars and new homes. This prosperity was juxtaposed against the horrors that the world had experienced in the previous 20 years. It was truly the best of times and the worst of times. 

NEXT:  The 1960’s

THE SERIES:  The 1970’s    The 1980’s    The 1990’s    The 2000’s    Epilogue

How to Choose Your Favorite Son or Daughter

20 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by Paul Kiser in Aging, Lessons of Life, parenting, Pride, Relationships

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children, Colorado, daughter, Denver, Favorite child, love, Nevada, offspring, parent, Parent Development, parenting, Reno, son

And the favorite child is?

And the favorite child is?

Every family that has more than one child faces a question as to which one is the favorite child. When asked, a parent will typically say, “They’re all my favorite,” which is BS and we all know it. Every parent should be able to know which child is their favorite, even if they can’t be honest about it.

Evaluating Your Offspring

Trying to determine which is your favorite is not as easy as it sounds. Flight attendants giving the pre-flight safety briefing on Southwest Airlines sometimes encourage parents of flying with more than one child to determine which child has the best earning potential in case they have to choose one to give oxygen in the event the cabin depressurizes. This is funny the first 20 times you hear it, but that doesn’t stop  them from delivering the joke 100 hundreds of times.

However, earning potential is a poor criteria for determining a favorite child…unless you have a binding contract that gives you a kickback as a quid pro quo for favorite child status. Quite frankly, successful adults often start out as horrible offspring, so I would not use earning potential as a factor.

Ease of child-rearing is also not a reliable criteria. Often it is the badly behaved child that teaches us the most about ourselves and our skills as a parent. Bad children can also become grateful adults, although one shouldn’t bank on that either.

Children who are ‘Mama’s boy’ or ‘Daddy’s girl’ should not be considered as an indicator of favorite child status. Sweet young children can become Satan’s spawn as teenagers, leaving the parent to wonder what they did wrong…as if the parent is at fault.

Children who remain in constant contact, calling their Mom or Dad daily, may seem like candidates for the favorite child, but this stalking technique is illegal in most states, so it doesn’t seem prudent to consider it as a factor?

So how does a parent determine the favorite child?

I have two adult daughters and a nine-year-old son. My daughters have successful lives, wonderful children and selected husbands that are more intelligent than their (my daughter’s) father. My son works hard to do his best and constantly impresses me with his development out of conservative it’s-all-about-me behavior into liberal, make-the-world better behavior. It would seem I would have a difficult time choosing the favorite….

….but I don’t.

The secret to choosing your favorite child is remembering that life is made up of moments. Every moment (in person or by phone or text) with one or more of my children is a moment with my favorite child or children. Our offspring don’t often understand why ‘family gatherings’ are so important to parents because they don’t realize that it is a time when a parent is rich with favorite children.

This doesn’t mean any of our children fall out of favor just because they are not with the parent at any given moment. Children are part of a parent’s life at all times, but when we have the opportunity to interact with our children, the moment is special.

Children are our legacy and we can move on in our lives reassured that we have accomplished all we needed to when we have raised a child. Our offspring become the painting of life we create as parents.We are artists and when we spend time with our children we can admire the grace and creativity of work that we did without a manual, training or degree. We can’t take credit for everything our children become, but we can smile and be content in that role we played in their lives….even if they don’t realize it.

This holiday season, remember to enjoy your favorite child and know that you are not limited to just one. Happy Holidays!

Stop Using the Fahrenheit Scale

19 Monday May 2014

Posted by Paul Kiser in About Reno, Communication, Education, Generational, Government, Lessons of Life, Public Relations, Science, Technology

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Celsius, Centigrade, comfort, degrees, Fahrenheit, scale, temperature

I know you think it’s hard. We were taught temperature in the Fahrenheit scale. It’s all we know. Now forget it.

The problem in understanding the Celsius scale us that we try to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, or the other way around and it becomes too confusing. I say it again, forget the Fahrenheit scale. It’s the best way to understand the Celsius scale.

Why? Because most of the time we only care about the temperature to know how to dress, so try this:

  • -20°C   – Why are you outside?
  • -10°C    – It’s really cold. Gloves and a  muffler with your winter coat.
  • 0°C      – It’s cold. You need a winter coat.
  • 10°C    – It’s cool. Jacket weather.
  • 20°C   – It’s comfortable. Maybe long sleeves.
  • 30°C   – It’s getting hot. Short sleeve and shorts.
  • 40°C  – It’s really hot. Find the nearest air-conditioned room.

That’s it. If you can count by 10’s you can understand the Celsius scale. Okay, I’ll let you see the corresponding temperatures in Fahrenheit:

  • -20°C   – Why are you outside? (-4°F)
  • -10°C – It’s really cold. Gloves and a  muffler with that winter coat. (14°F)
  • 0°C      – It’s cold. You need a winter coat. (32°F)
  • 10°C     – It’s cool. Jacket weather. (50°F)
  • 20°C   – It’s comfortable. Maybe long sleeves. (68°F)
  • 30°C    – It’s getting hot. Short sleeves and shorts. (86°F)
  • 40°C – It’s really hot. Find the nearest air-conditioned room. (104°F)

If it helps, just remember that 20°C is comfortable if there is no wind. Every 10° up or down from that temperature is going to be a significant change in comfort level. It’s that simple.

Okay, if you’re a cook, the Celsius scale is a little more challenging, but baby steps, baby steps.

Five Signs That Should Be A Dealbreaker When Purchasing A Pre-owned House

13 Tuesday May 2014

Posted by Paul Kiser in Business, Customer Relations, Customer Service, Ethics, Honor, Lessons of Life, Management Practices, Public Relations

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buying, home, housing, housing costs, housing prices, investment, Money, price, realtor, realty, Selling, value

Greed is NOT good when purchasing a home. The ethics of selling a house have reached new lows and some realtors are little more that used car dealers looking to take advantage of the gullible and the inexperienced. Here are five things that should encourage you to walk away from a sale.

The Angry Realtor
Regardless of the circumstance, the sale of a home should not be a cause for anger. Terms are either acceptable or not, and an overly emotional or condescending realtor is a good indication that he or she is trying to distract the buyer (and sometimes the seller.) The ethical realtor understands that buying a home is one of the big decisions in life and everyone should be happy when the check is exchanged.

Unfortunately, the past decade has seen ruthless and unethical realtors gain a foothold in an otherwise, honorable profession. If a realtor accuses you of being unreasonable, they may be trying to attack your sense of self and create doubt so that you’ll back away from your convictions. Again, the terms are either acceptable or not, and if not, a counter offer or a polite decline are the only appropriate responses.

Buying a home can be a win-win, or win-lose depending on the ethics of the seller

Buying a home can be a win-win, or win-lose depending on the ethics of the seller

Flipped Houses Tricks
Buying a cheap house, fixing it up, and reselling it used to be an honorable vocation. It is no longer.

When profit is the primary motive, ethics of the seller and their realtor become meaningless. Anything in a house that needs fixed or replaced will likely be done at the lowest price with the least amount of quality and work. Here are some tricks in remodeling for profit that you should be wary of when buying a home:

Single pane, aluminum frame windows are great if you like high heating bills and wasting energy

Single pane, aluminum frame windows are great if you like high heating bills and wasting energy

  • New windows trick – Insulating dual pane windows are a standard in today’s home. Homes with single pane windows should have been updated in the during the last 20 years. Rather than updating all the windows, unethical sellers will only replace the windows on the front of the house, which improves its curb appeal, but doesn’t fix the problem.
  • Landscaping trick – Landscaping is a key indicator of how the house was maintained. People who didn’t take care of their yard, probably didn’t take care of their house. The unethical seller will plant a few new trees or bushes, and some decorative stone to cover the weeds and dead lawn. If everything looks new, ask about the drip system for the plants. If their isn’t one, then you know they are just trying to disguise poor maintenance with rock and mirrors.
  • Plumbing fixtures trick – New toilets and faucets make a house look updated, but that can mean it is updated. The unethical seller will use the cheapest toilets and fixtures at Home Depot or Lowe’s and pay an unlicensed handyman to install them on the lowest bid. Run every faucet, flush every toilet, and look for leaks, and/or sloppy installation.
  • New carpet trick – Worn floors and carpet will cause most buyers to walk away from a house. Enter cheap tan carpet. The quickest and cheapest fix is inexpensive tan carpet. A house that has new tan carpet gives the feel of a well-maintained home, but this should cause the potential buyer to look even closer at the home. It is worth the trip to a carpet store before a buyer begins home shopping. A home buyer should know the look and feel of high quality carpet versus cheap tan carpet.
  • Electrical outlets trick – A home with ungrounded, (AKA:  two-prong outlets,) is in desperate need of updating. It means that the house should be rewired (See Outdated Systems.) To disguise this issue, the unethical seller will change the two-prong outlets with three-prong, (AKA:  grounded) outlets, but they won’t replace the wire, nor will they have run a grounded wire to each outlet.

Bidding Wars
Bidding wars on a home is a win for the seller and always a loss the buyer. Home buying is not a game. The pressure of people bidding against each other drives the price up, and the value down. Walk away from a bidding war.

Getting a great deal is a matter of being in the right place at the right time. By shopping for homes over a period of months, the chance of being at the right place and time increases. There is a name for people who expect to spend only a week looking for a new home: Suckers.

Outdated Systems
Because everything wears out, and because newer house systems (heat, light, plumbing, electrical, appliances, etc.) are more efficient, buying a home with outdated equipment means, 1) that the previous homeowner didn’t do the maintenance they should have, and 2) the real cost will be much higher as you will be burdened with the cost and inconvenience making it current. Here are some systems you should ask about before you buy:

  • Water Heater Tanks – The life span of most water heaters is ten to thirteen years. If the heater is older than 2001, it needs to be replaced.
  • Furnaces – A well-maintained furnace can last 25 years. A furnace installed before 1990, is not only at the end of its life, it is costing you money because it is inefficient.
  • Electrical – The electrical system has about a 40-year life span. Any home built before 1975, should be rewired. It’s a tough job and expensive. It is not a job that should be done on the lowest bid.
  • Plumbing – Metal pipes can last for 70 years or more. Newer PVC (plastic) pipe has a much shorter life (25 to 40 years.) Clay pipes (used for sewer pipe in the mid-1900’s, is past its lifespan. A good home inspector can verify the state of the existing plumbing and their advice should be heeded.

High Pressure Sale
Anytime the buyer or their realtor is applying undo pressure for a decision the buyer should be ready to walk away. Used car salesmen have used this tactic for decades to push people into a deal that they don’t want. It also means that the seller may have significant problems with the house that they don’t want the buyer to discover.  

Certainly the buyer needs to make timely decisions, and a seller should not expect to have to pass up other offers while waiting for another buyer to decide, but if the seller is demanding an immediate decision, then warning bells should be going off in the buyer’s mind.

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Other Pages of This Blog

  • About Paul Kiser
  • Common Core: Are You a Good Switch or a Bad Switch?
  • Familius Interruptus: Lessons of a DNA Shocker
  • Moffat County, Colorado: The Story of Two Families
  • Rules on Comments
  • Six Things The United States Must Do
  • Why We Are Here: A 65-Year Historical Perspective of the United States

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